


A Wish Unforgotten

by WallabeeJump



Category: Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ILLYA, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Altruism, Broken Families, Dysfunctional Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Issues, Fifth Holy Grail War, Gen, Holy Grail, Superheroes, Swords & Sorcery, Transmigration, Trauma Center: Second Opinion, Urban Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2019-08-14 12:43:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 63,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WallabeeJump/pseuds/WallabeeJump
Summary: Every parent deserving of the title wishes for their children to grow up strong and healthy. A mundane wish, but the most mundane things are the heaviest. A constant truth regardless of where you peer from the kaleidoscope just like Holy Grail Wars. Miyuverse Shirou transmigration fic.





	1. Shirou's Wish

_"I wish upon the Holy Grail; I pray you find a world where you won't have to suffer any longer. I pray that you meet kind people. I pray that you find friends you can laugh with. I pray you find… a second chance….a warm, small…share of happiness…."_

My eyes open. My vision was blurry. My head hurt and I was having trouble breathing. My mind wasn't working properly. Much more than warmth, the heat around me was unbearable. A world of flames was all around me. The stench of burning flesh, metal and concrete bring me to my senses. It was strange, but the scene before me was familiar.

That was disconcerting.

My vision once blurry, slowly becomes clear. Amidst the rubble I stand up. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming. I could have sworn that I had lived through this before, yet there was something off.

I was carrying something heavy. I look down and in my arms was a toddler wrapped in cloth, black hair and red eyes? Right, they were originally that color before she wished that….

" _A tool of a tool. When she wished for you two to be true siblings, you had no choice to become her "big brother". Did that thought ever occur to you?"_

A nagging voice in my head, belonging to a man that couldn't possibly be a priest. "Tool", I take offense to the word. I force that thought out and continue walking. The weight in my arms reassures me. Both the scenery and the child were nostalgic, but they did not belong together.

She does not belong in a place like this.

That was why I had to walk. I put power into my legs, but they were weak and child like. It seemed like I was a lot younger than I imagined myself to be.

I walk, I walk and walk, until something obstructs my path.

It was an arm sprouting from the rubble.

"HELP! I can't feel my legs, someone….someone…..pull me out….."

I grit my teeth and walk around it.

"someone…..pull me out….."

What started out as a scream settled into silent gasps in the distance. I could not cover my ears, so all I could do was ignore them.

I keep walking. I keep walking. I keep walking.

I ignore the dark burning lumps. I ignore the wreckage. There were those who were walking about like me, but as soon as they stopped by those ghastly trees and reached for them, they too would become black lumps. I ignore the cries.

I knew first hand what would happen to us if we stopped.

I keep walking. I keep walking. I keep walking.

*cough*cough*

My lips tense up as I heard that sound, it was clear that she was having trouble breathing. The burden I was carrying was heavy. My arms were screaming to let go, but I did not.

"A big …..brother protects his little sister," was something that escaped my mouth.

Where did those words come from? Meaningless words, but I could not deny them. My little sister needed to be saved, my little sister deserved more, that was the only thing in my head. In this surreal world, that was the only truth. The words were a waste of breath from a pragmatic point of view, yet because of them, I could continue living. As I was still alive, I could continue to walk. I kept moving forward, so my sister could be saved. In that sense, nothing has changed.

I keep walking. I keep walking. I keep walking. My shoes have been burned away and my bare feet are cut upon the brimstone. They bleed, but even so, I continue to walk. The terrain was irregular.

"COME BACK HERE!" someone yells.

The cries for help eventually turn into curses, but I don't stop. I can't stop. I push forward, but the fire around us is ever present.

Each step was getting heavier, but I force myself to keep walking. I could not stop. I will not stop. My body answers my request and a tingling sensation floods through my legs. It wasn't much, but it was just enough to take me past my limit.

I keep walking and take strides wider than any I had taken before.

Was it magic? The answer didn't matter. All that mattered was I could continue walking.

I keep walking and walking, for what seemed like hours, but the scenery did not change. It was then…..

"Gahh….."

My foot had got stuck in something and I had tripped. I break the landing with my shoulder. A sharp pain, but nothing I didn't experience before. The smoke was getting thicker.

*cough*cough*

I was coughing, but so was she. Her breathing was getting irregular. I was going to die, but before that, my little sister was going to die and that was something I could not accept.

My leg was stuck. It wouldn't budge. Would it be better if I just cut it off? No, Miyu would die for sure if all I could do was crawl.

I grit my teeth. It was all for nothing wasn't it? The situation was hopeless. There was no way we were going to live.

As I lay there on the brimstone, meaningless questions flood my head.

Where were we? Who were we? What did she do to deserve this? None of that matters. None of that matters now. None of that matters and that made me angry.

I was weak. I couldn't change anything. Now, all I could do now was wish, wish for my sister to be saved, for Miyu to be saved. Wishing was nothing more than a coping mechanism.

" _There's always someone who wants to save the world. Always forcing others to do what they cannot do for themselves,"_ were words I must have said to someone once.

In the end, I was nothing more than a fraud. I prayed. I prayed and prayed for my wish to come true, even if it was meaningless gesture.

I prayed. I prayed and I prayed some more.

My sins have caught up with me. There was no out. No one will come. My sister will die. My sister will die. Even if it has become evidently clear for such a thing to be true, I still continue to wish. I still continue to dream.

It was then he appeared. A man in a trench coat standing over us.

"You're….alive….you're both alive…."

A familiar, yet unfamiliar face. In my memories, that face was always cold, yet I could only sense warmth in that smile of his. Even though he was the one saving, tears of relief stream from his face. If nothing else, the familiar stranger was sincere about his desire to save us.

Miyu was on death's door step in this world of fire and brimstone. She should have been beyond saving and yet there it was, that warm heavenly light. A far cry from the harsh heat that surrounded us. Something that humans strive for but could never reach.

It was then I realized that my wish was granted.

* * *

The name Shirou was the only thing I could recall about myself with a semblance of confidence. The name Miyu was the only thing I knew to be true about the child I was found with. The man that saved us adopted us and we both took the name Emiya. Emiya?

Maybe I should have been a more considerate step-son, but once I regained most of my strength, I snuck out of the hospital while Miyu was still being examined. A miracle, the doctors had exclaimed. In truth a miracle did happen, so I wasn't worried. What worried me now was an unsettling feeling under my skin that the nightmare wasn't over. I needed to revisit the place where he had found us…...alone. To find any loose ends and tie them up.

I ignored the yellow tape and avoided the gazes of the police officers in the area. Beyond all reason, I had an obligation to see everything to the end.

The fire had died down, and all that was left was burnt rubble. The bodies had already been cleared away. They weren't here anymore, there was no one, the people I ignored so Miyu could be saved were gone. The trees were all withered. There was nothing here. Nothing here at all. I had wanted to know who I was, who Miyu was, but it seemed like there would be no answer. All I knew was that someone was chasing her and I had to stop them. If our pursuers were to show up, it would be here.

I take the scenery in, a land devoid of all life, or it should have been.

Before I could take everything in, I felt something. A change in the wind and a tension in the air, the first of many.

Garbed in red, mindless and vindictive, a large white haired vagabond was charging at me with swords at a pace beyond what humans should have been capable of, yet I could see him coming. Beautiful twin swords glint in the sun, one black and one white.

"Kanshou and Bakuya?" the names simply roll off my tongue.

What was happening couldn't have been real. It could only have been a dream. There was no way humans could move like that. In fact, there should have been no one here. Reality must be a dream, then if everything is a dream, then…

"Trace On."

I invoke the familiar words, putting strength into my arms and legs that shouldn't have been possible. In my empty hands appeared the same otherworldly swords as my assailant.

The phantasmal blades clash; the otherworldly metal sings. Mirrors clash against mirrors.

He sweeps at my feet and only hits air. I slash at him from 2 angles, but he meets my attacks and surpasses them.

"Ho..ly...Grai...l" was what the thing groaned. When I heard those nonsensical words, I knew I had to cut down the one in front of me.

I'm on the defensive, but I knew my enemy and that was why he could never reach me. Ten, twenty, thirty strikes have been exchanged, but not once have I been grazed. It didn't matter he was stronger. It didn't matter he was faster. It didn't matter if he was bigger. In that mindless state of his, there was no way he could beat me.

Every time our blades clashed, I remembered. Well, I remembered how to fight at least. I push forward and my body screams.

His attacks, were my own and if I could see them coming, there was no way I could be done in. I wouldn't lose to myself. It was then, my opponent came to the same conclusion and had stepped back, dismissing the swords in a haze, materializing a bow in his hand in their place, but I was already a step ahead.

I throw my swords and trace an arc in the air. My entire body felt like it was burning.

"Haaahhhh," was my battle cry as I lunge forward. I wouldn't let him escape.

I had thrown my swords and in my hands, a new pair of swords had already materialized. The spinning blades surround the target. Opposites attract and like repels. Before he could materialize his own swords to intercept them, I had already made my move.

"Overedge…"

The difference in reach did not matter to fighters like us. That's what I had remembered and what he could not recall. My opponent is skewered by my twin swords. Blood had bloomed where I had stabbed him, but he promptly disappeared. In his place was something familiar.

A card. A card swaying back and forth in the wind. I catch it.

"Archer."

That was the word inscribed on the card, as well as a picture of a bowman. A fragment of "me".

It was unfortunate, but he would not be the last. There's always more than one after the Holy Grail. Holy Grail?

"Am I still dreaming?"

This world I lived in was nothing more than a dream. My memories were hazy for that reason. The sensation of the wind against my skin does not convince me otherwise.

" _I pray you find a world where you won't have to suffer any longer."_

Even so, I didn't want to wake up. For the sake of my little sister, this dream had to continue. Anything was better than the nightmare we had escaped.

I was no hero nor could I call myself one. Even so, I have a dream and if an enemy appears, I will cut them down. I will cut all of them down. That much was certain.

Dreams were fragile things after all.

* * *

5 years have passed since then and I had turned 12 as far as I knew.

Under the stars of the night sky, on a familiar porch,I was sitting next to the man that had saved us that day, Kiritsugu. He had called me out personally while Miyu was sound asleep. She had turned 6 and was starting elementary school soon after all.

Even though he was supposed to be our "father", he was always a little wary around us, no matter how kind he had tried to be. There were questions he had wanted to ask for years and it was on this night he had decided to ask them.

"You're a magus aren't you?" was what he asks.

I grip the stack of 7 cards in my pocket tightly. I had tried to cover the darker patches of my skin with makeup, but it seemed like he already knew. It was a familiar yet unfamiliar word. All I knew was it wasn't something nice to be accused of, especially by someone like Kiritsugu. I was on guard.

"Don't worry. I'm not angry….I knew from the start."

Saber, Archer, Lancer, Rider, Berserker, Caster and Assassin. Specters in pursuit of the Holy Grail. Every few months, maybe longer, they would appear and I would have to chase them. I didn't understand it, but something told me that Miyu cannot find happiness as long as they roamed this world.

Though clearly beyond human, the specters only had the minds of beasts, acting on instinct alone. Something was done to them, yet I didn't care. The only important thing was that I already knew how they fought as if I had fought them once before.

I had a dream, a wish after all.

I had cut them down to maintain this dream and I was expecting more. Specters that did not belong in the "normal" world. They were beings that could not have been real, but that flash of heavenly light that day was the same. That meant that Kiritsugu was a "magus" too. My brain told me that, that mages were universally "users", "users" of others. People that treated others like tools. Was he watching me? How much did he know? I load the sword barrel in my head.

Throughout those isolated battles with those "spirits", I always felt like someone was watching me. I needed to find that loose end, yet as I scoured the city after curfew after sneaking out of bed, I could never find anyone. My mind raced to the worst possible conclusion.

"What are you planning with my little sister?"

The threat comes out naturally as breathing, but Kiritsugu doesn't wince.

"If that's the first thing that comes to mind for you, then I'm relieved."

It appeared to be sincere, yet In the back of my mind, a voice was telling me that "Kiritsugu" would never say something like that. "Kiritsugu" stares into the sky and into the world above the clouds.

"When I was little, I wanted to be a hero."

A hero of justice would always prioritize the needs of the many over the few. A true hero of justice would sacrifice anything, anyone, to save the cluster of lives of greater number, even if that which needed to be sacrificed was family. Even if my memories were unreliable, I vividly knew the type.

"Did you give up?" was what I asked. It was something I needed to confirm.

"Being a hero is a limited time thing. When you get older, it gets harder to call yourself one….I made mistakes…...again…..and again…...I didn't realize it until it was too late….someone like me….saving the world?...It seems so stupid now….," he says with a heavy heart.

He tries to laugh it off as senile rambling, but it was clear it was a serious thing for him. I couldn't hate him. There was no ill will. The man beside me was no threat. He has always been nothing more than our guardian. I felt bad for even thinking such a thing. Even though he was unreliable as a father, even if he couldn't cook and his "job overseas" was dubious, he was not pathetic.

"It's not stupid."

Even if I could never become a hero, I couldn't deny the beauty in such a thing. I couldn't deny that a part of me admired Kiritsugu. I couldn't help but admire my dad. He was the one who had granted my wish after all.

"If anything else, you're a hero to us."

I wasn't reassuring him, I was only speaking the truth.

"So is it alright for someone like me to keep wishing?"

"That depends on the wish."

The weary man glances at the starry night sky.

"Then I wish, for all of my children to grow up strong and healthy."

Such was a mundane wish every parent deserving of the title makes for their children.

"It will definitely come true," was the promise that casually left my lips.

I didn't understand it then, the true weight of his wish.

"I'm glad."

Dad closes his eyes with a smile on his face and never opens them again.

One man's world would stay night forever.


	2. Sakura's Stalking

 

* * *

I watch them.

I watch from the distance, an older brother picking up his little sister from elementary school. A middle schooler with red hair and amber eyes, the "weirdo" who punched my older brother by "reflex", or that was how my older brother Shinji had explained it to me.

They're walking home just as they always do. He grips the smaller dark haired girl's hand so tightly as if she would disappear if he let go. They look happy. They're happy aren't they? As if they occupy their own little world.

_They're so lucky, now only if there was a truck that would appear out of nowhere and deliver them to another world._

I'm a bad girl aren't I?

He quickly turns his gaze and glances in my direction and I quickly hide. Even though I can't see his face from behind the pole, I can feel his stare, fierce and unrelenting. Not anything like the gentle expression he had on before. He doesn't notice me. He doesn't notice me. I'm plain after all, completely uninteresting. No one notices me. No one notices me. So it would be arrogant to think he noticed me.

I have been watching the boy for a while now it seems. It would be fine if I was just a girl who was stalking the boy I liked, but I'm only following Grandfather's orders.

" _Watch the Emiya boy."_

The boy gingerly grips that small hand and continues walking. That girl is lucky isn't she? She has such a good brother. I watch them. I watch them. I watch them as they pass the overpass. I watch them crossing the street when the light turns green. I watch them across the street. I plan my route and continue my pursuit. I wonder why grandfather didn't just use familiars to watch him? Unless that boy too is a mage and can trace familiars back….no, it's impossible.

The way he holds that small hand, his considerate walking pace for someone smaller than him, such things are not things a proper mage should be able to do. For a proper mage, family members are just things. Things to be sold off. Things to be used.  _Like me._

Grandfather must have had a reason, but I'm just too stupid to understand it right?

I watch the pair or I should still have been watching, but I could see them no longer. It seemed I was lost in my stupid thoughts and lost them. How stupid of me right? Stupid stupid me.

My skin is crawling. It itches, but I'm used to the sensation. Focus Sakura. I slap my cheeks to get my mind on track.

As I run forward, I see the pair once again and see them stopping in front of a gate.

_That's a very big traditional eastern-style house they live in isn't it? Quite rich aren't they? Not only does that cute little girl have such a caring brother, she comes from money too?_

I'm really a bad girl aren't I?

"Huh?"

Someone had grabbed my shoulder. I turn my gaze and see a juvenile looking brunette with a pony tail and tracksuit.

"You've been at this for a while haven't you? Being shy is one thing, but it isn't good to keep things the way they are."

I'm being lectured? The young brown haired woman takes my arm and we approach the two siblings at the doorway. The boy glances in my direction and I cannot escape the amazon's grip.

"Fuji-nee….wait you're….," the boy starts.

I try not to meet the boy's gaze, but he suddenly puts his hands on my face, feeling for it.

" _Sak..ura?..,"_ he whispers.

It must have been my imagination.  _I'm a bad, bad girl._ There's no way he should have known my name. My train of thought is broken when the older woman smacks the back of the boy's head.

"What was that for?" he says as he rubs his head as the older woman scolds him.

"You have no tact do you?"

"From someone who calls herself a home security guard?" the boy muses.

"Stop putting words into my mouth, I'm a 19 year old college student," she says with a wicked grin, beating her arm against her chest.

The boy clears his throat and extends his hand.

"Sorry, I'm Shirou and you are?" he says with a smile.

"...Sakura…," I force myself to say.

I take his hand. The hand of a nice boy. It's warm, but…

_If he's nice to me, then he's nice to everyone. I'm not special. The truth is cruel, then lies must be kind. Kindness is a lie._

I can't expect him to help me. I can't expect him to save me. I know how it ends for people who try. That's why, I won't expect anything. I don't want him to save me. I don't need someone to save me.  _It's not like he would even try if he knew. I'm a bad girl._

"How nice. You get to hold a girl's hand, but…..what was up with that vacant stare earlier, Shirou? Saw a ghost? Love at first sight?" the woman teases the boy.

The boy looks away, but the older...no…..young lady nudges the boy all smug like until the little girl tugs on her leg.

"Stop bullying my brother," she says with her cheeks puffed out while pouting.

It was cute.  _If only I could be that cute._

"Do you want to help with dinner?….Fuji-nee….," the boy starts.

"Hey, I might not be able to cook as well as…," the college girl interjects.

The mature little girl stares at the childlike woman.

"Right….even an elementary schooler is a better cook," she says dejectedly on all fours.

"Make yourself at home," the little girl says as she bows.

" _Watch the Emiya boy."_

Well, staying for dinner doesn't contradict Grandfather's orders. I resign myself to my fate.  _Just as I resign myself to everything._

I stare at the boy and take in his features. I didn't notice before when I was watching him from the distance, but the bags under his eyes are hard not to notice. They are not something that belong on someone his age.  _Nor is my vacant expression._ The kind boy too has things he wants to hide.  _He's a liar._

Even so, lies are kind.

* * *

The months pass and become years. Watching him standing over the stove while I stand over the cutting board with knife in hand has become something of a daily routine once school was over. Enough of staring, I clear my head.

Vegetables are in front of me and I cut them.

*swish*

I cut them. I cut, I cut, I cut. I cut them to pieces. The tomatoes and the cucumbers too.

*swish*swish*swish*

They were botanically fruit, but I cut them like vegetables. I cut them like vegetables, because they were vegetables.

*swish*

I cut them the way he taught me.

"Are you alright?" Miyu asks me with a worried look.

"I'm alright," I say as I shoot her with a smile.

A man and a woman preparing dinner while a little girl observes, while Taiga waits in the living room waiting for the food to be done. This must be what a normal family is like.  _That's a lie._

* * *

I cherish these ordinary days.

The days he spends fixing appliances around the school while I watch. Even my older brother comes to check on us from time to time.  _Which he shouldn't have._

" _He's an idiot, but….he's a useful idiot,"_ was my brother's way of complimenting someone.

Issei sometimes watches too.  _Though I wish he didn't._

The boy named Shirou is persistent and stubborn. When someone needs help, he'll comply, even if it's a hassle or even if it's impossible.  _I like it when he fails. I'm a bad girl._

He'll stubbornly insist that something can't be fixed can be fixed. His little sister doesn't help in this regard. After a few hours, Miyu would appear after she was done with the library and fixes it for him as if by magic. ….. _A grade skipping genius she is. A perfect girl that can do anything as long as she wishes for it. Something of a brother complex too….._

I follow him to his part time job as I take a position too.

I watch him fire arrows on the range. I like the way he does it. Not forcefully like others, but naturally, as if he was the bow itself.  _Like a machine._

I cherish these ordinary days…..and I'm sure he does too  _because we aren't ordinary._

These peaceful ordinary days won't last, but until then we will keep living this lie  _because the truth is cruel._

Senpai notches an arrow and draws the bowstring back.

"Do you have a dream, Senpai?" I ask, as he draws the bowstring.

"I'm living one right now... and I don't want to wake up," he answers. It seemed like something in him had chipped a little.

Even though there are things we cannot say to one another, I like to think we understand each other  _but that's only my delusion, my lie, my dream._

He releases the arrow and the cruel arrow strikes true.


	3. Rin, The True Janitor

Behind every bounded field is a mage, though some mages are better than others. Bounded fields are a field of study in itself with various kinds and different uses. The most common ones employed conceal things from prying eyes. The one set up at school right now isn't one of the common variety, it's of the life force sucking variety. It wasn't subtle. The perpetrator was either really confident in challenging me or a complete amateur. I wait for night to descend.

Two hours have passed since the school has closed, so I'm the only one here…...plus Archer. An Archer, not a Saber. An Archer with amnesia no less! Those stupid clocks. One hour fast. How was that even possible? The image of dad's puzzle comes back into view. Dad really wanted to play a trick on me from beyond the grave at the most critical moment…

"Sloppy."

On the rooftop, I stand over the ominous 7 stroke mark, or what was left of one, since it looked like someone set off a bomb on top of it. It seems that someone was a step ahead of me. Just like the perpetrator, this second person, this do-gooder didn't think at all. That or everyone just wants to spite me. As the Second Owner appointed by the Mage's Association after my father's death, it's my responsibility to keep those of the sunlit world ignorant of existences like ours. It's supposed be be a prestigious position, but sometimes I feel like a glorified janitor. Would it kill that fake priest, my "legal guardian" to be a little more helpful?

It was then I heard a familiar explosion from below. It's him.

I hear it, the singing of metal and explosions. I turn my gaze down below and two figures come into view. A whirlwind of sparks and sounds. A mesmerizing dance of death. An ever-changing canvas of red, black and white sparks. Red is intercepted by the two opposites, so that more red does not spill.

Down below, a battle was taking place on school grounds. A spectacle that few get to see in a lifetime. A battle between two heroes…...one hero of old and….

"Emiya," is the name I blurt out.

Mages can sense other mages and the red headed boy, the fake janitor who attended the same school as me was clearly one. I honestly tried to apprehend him years ago, yet he would always manage to elude my familiars with those exploding swords of his. Those swords of his, I like to think are at least as expensive as my Amethyst statues, but he throws them around with so little regard as if he had an unlimited supply. Mages may operate under different rules than "normal" people, but in the end, as a practitioner of jewelcraft, I cannot deny that in this world, money was just as important as mana.

Metal continues to sing.

It's been a good solid minute since the fight began. Against a Servant, a minute might as well be an eternity. The red headed boy is perpetually on the defensive and is given no chance to counter attack. The sparks continue to fly. Those twin swords he was wielding against Lancer must be of excellent quality to tank the hits from a noble phantasm. Regardless of Emiya's skill, his defeat is inevitable. Even though he was clearly my superior in terms of combat, a mere human cannot match a legend of old. It's over for Emiya.

The sound of shattering metal resounds.

The swords shatter and it should have been the end, but are quickly replaced with swords of the same quality. I bite my lips. I can understand if the exploding swords he usually uses are supposed to be disposable, but…..looking closely, the swords he uses to parry blows from a crystallized myth were the same ones!

The spearman aims for an opening, but it is intercepted in the final moment.

With weapons of shorter length, the boy was at a disadvantage from the start. The spearman closes in, but the boy moves in even closer past the point of the spear. In any other fight, it would have been the correct decision, but right now, the boy was fighting a legend. I can't read the movements. All I see are a twirl of sparks, of red, black and white.

Time seemed to stop. I hold my breath.

A kick I couldn't read. The red headed boy is knocked away, air rushes out of his lungs and he uselessly throws his swords at his enemy only to miss. It's over. Lancer rushes in to skewer his defenseless opponent, but it was all a ruse. Red clashes against black and white.

The same swords?

In his hands were another pair of swords. The swords that should have missed swerve and spin, attracted like magnets to the new pair. Swords from all sides converge on Lancer's neck, but the spearman was no mere man. A hero would not be beaten by such tricks. With his godly speed, in one smooth continuous swing, Lancer shatters the swords behind him and the swords in front of him, quickly transitioning to an attack of his own. This raises quite the dilemma.

"Protection from arrows…...Projectile weapons are useless…..is there any way an Archer can beat a Lancer like that?"

"If an Archer had an unlimited number of Noble Phantasms, firing them without stopping, then a Lancer of that calibre could be beaten in a matter of days," is what my Archer Servant says.

"So it's impossible," is my response to Archer's little joke.

The spearman is clearly having a good time. To be able to hold out this long against a hero of legend, even against one that was clearly playing around like a cat is no small feat. The pace quickens and Emiya gets scratched here and there. Emiya gets disarmed, over and over again. It was then, the spearman in blue takes pause and changes his stance.

"Man, you're pretty good….….killing you here would be a waste….you seem like you would have been a fun Master," with his smile souring. I can sense the killing intent. The red headed boy will die now. I should have been happy. Emiya had always been a thorn on my side for years, yet….

Sakura's face surfaces in my mind. It's hard to avoid when they're together all the time. They were together on the archery range earlier today.

"Shoot him!"

What were my intentions. I did not know, but it mattered little. My intentions no longer mattered as Archer had already fired his arrow. An unusual spiral shaped "arrow" tears through space and it strikes the ground between the two combatants. In an instant, the battlefield is enveloped. That's bright. My eyes sting and are temporarily blinded.

When I regain my vision, a huge crater comes into view. Earth, stone and dust is scattered everywhere. Lancer must have bolted before the arrow struck the ground. What about? I scan the crater as the dust settles and I see him. Near the edge of that crater was Emiya still standing. The petal shaped barrier of light, what must have been a most potent conceptual weapon that he used to shield himself from the worst of it crumbles away and dissolves as he is left gasping for breath as his butt is planted into the ground. What was that?

Of the ten great gems I had stockpiled for this very war, I would need to consume one to achieve the same effect. Logically, Emiya must have spent something of equal value, something worth at least a decade of preparation just to hold off that one attack. In that case, I won't have to worry about him for the rest of this Holy Grail War, though my gut was telling me otherwise.

I jump down from the roof and Archer catches me before I hit the ground. I walk towards the boy cautiously. The little "spar" earlier could have been nothing more than a trap. He could very well be the Master of Lancer. The Fake Janitor, really? I approach slowly, but he doesn't react. As I get closer, I see the extent of his injuries. He's bruised in several places and he is cut in a few places but most importantly…..No command seals. He's not a Master. Good. That's one less thing to worry about.

"That's some stupid stunt you pulled, Emiya," I holler.

He turns his gaze, but his gaze is not on me. He's staring intensely a few feet to the side. Can he sense Archer? He tenses up and is on guard and Archer is the same. Emiya may be stronger than me in straight combat, but I had a heroic spirit by my side. In this situation, I was his superior.

"Time to get another hobby. Things will only get more dangerous from here, so stop playing hero," I tell him.

I played around the idea of reporting him to the Mage's Association years ago, but that runs the risk of being accused of incompetence by hackneyed bureaucrats. For the sake of the Tohsaka family, I couldn't lose my position for such a stupid reason, so I had tolerated him. To be fair, his little hobby does actually benefit me, only by virtue of scaring other potentially more troublesome mages away from the city.

As I get a closer look into his eyes, I notice the familiar bags forming under them. When does he even sleep? Even as I get closer, he doesn't bother getting up and continues to lie on the ground.

"Hero? No. I can never call myself such a thing."

Emiya stands up. He's bleeding here and there. He almost died fighting a living legend, yet he just casually walks everything off.

"Then what are you?" I ask him.

"Just someone's doting older brother," he says with straight face.

"Huh?"

It's true he has a little sister. It's true she skipped grades and is in Sakura's year, but in the end, she was just a little sister. A mage family can only have one magic crest and thus one heir. That is the general rule and I only know of one exception. The Emiya in front of me with the ridiculous power he had at his disposal was clearly the heir. Without the burden of magical studies, what that little girl did wasn't that special for anyone from a notable bloodline. Still, the issue of siblings should be a touchy subject for any mage.

"Can you explain it more clearly?" I say to reaffirm what I had heard.

"My little sister goes to this school. You saved me back there, so you have my thanks. It's good to know that you're not my enemy," he continues.

My face contorts. I don't know what expression I'm making right now, but I know this to be true. How can he say that with a straight face?

This was the longest conversation I had ever had with this boy and my buttons were already pushed. He was purposely steering the conversation. Little sister? You saved me? Not my enemy? I naturally draw my finger preparing a Gandr curse. I cannot help but make the comparison with Kirei. There was something similar about them I couldn't put into words. I cannot see Emiya as just some helpful do-gooder. The bout with Lancer earlier confirms that he is a threat I can no longer ignore. Of the 7 Servants of the Holy Grail War, only Saber has yet to be summoned. If he becomes a Master…..

"With power like that, you're actually chalking everything up to a sister complex?"

Emiya looks to the side and gathers his thoughts.

"Maybe it's a lot of things….the serial killings…..the fire….10 years ago in this very city." he suddenly says. I remember, all too well in fact and that's the problem.

Emiya stares into the distance and gathers his breath as if to remember something. Something he can never forget. His face is undoubtedly serious. It's quite scary actually.

"Families….. were toyed with….broken apart….stolen from…..used….. normal families just living their lives…..if there's even a small chance it will happen again….. that's not something I can overlook...…"

I don't buy it. I don't buy it at all. Someone who thinks like that can't possibly be a magus. The pursuit of knowledge is the goal of every proper mage. For the sake of reaching the Root, a magus is willing to put everything on the line including family. Like my father. Like me….

"You're lying," were the words that slipped out of my mouth.

Emiya faces forward as if his way of living was questioned. His face is…..

"I just want my family to live their lives without having to worry about anything. Are you saying that's wrong, Tohsaka?"

My breath stops for a moment. Old memories surface, of a family of four sitting still in front of a painter. I brush those memories away with black paint. My hands shake. I try to center myself, but the tension is broken by the buzzing of a cell phone. Cell phone? Emiya takes it out and it seemed like something in him had just chipped. He simply runs away. Making craters with each step. Craters with each leap. He runs away, paying no heed to his injuries. He runs away, paying no attention to me at all. It takes me a whole second before I realize that's what happened. I had hesitated.

"Wait a minute…..come back here!" I yell.

I was about to give chase, but as I look behind me, the sight of school comes into my vision. Filled with various craters from the previous battle. As the Second Owner, it is my duty to clean it all up, lest the activity of mages be known to sunlit world. That fake janitor!


	4. Life of Miyu

In my dreams, my father was always a cold person, yet while I was awake he was anything but. He was a man who always tried his best to smile. He would keep smiling even as he burnt dinner. He would keep smiling even as he broke the new air conditioner Fuji-nee brought us in his attempt to install it. All the things he couldn't do, my brother had to do in his place, which were quite a lot of things.

He wasn't someone that could be called reliable despite all his efforts, but he was sincere about raising us. When my brother would sneak out of bed to roam the streets at night as he did every night, father would always be there watching over me. Even so, he would consciously turn his gaze away from mine.

Far from a gentle golden amber like my brother's, my eyes were an ominous red, like the fire in my nightmares. Father's eyes weren't like that either. Sometimes I couldn't help but think that I was  _fake_.

" _Are we ….. a real family?"_ I had forced myself to ask him one night.

On that night, he did not turn his gaze from mine. His face was weary and the bags beneath his eyes were pronounced. He did not answer my question. He simply hugged me as he cried. I never understood him. He never exchanged words with me, but the warmth he gave me was real.

There were many things I had wanted to say to him. There were many things I wanted to learn about him. There were many things…..but I never got the chance. He was simply gone one day. He had left on a trip…...to Germany. He would return some months and he would be gone the next few. One day, he was gone….. and he didn't go to Germany.

When I asked my brother where he had went, he did not turn his gaze from mine. His face was weary and the bags beneath his eyes were pronounced. He did not answer my question. He simply hugged me. I didn't understand. Shirou didn't say anything, but that warmth was real, but I understood it would not last. I understood something in me. The terror of being alone.

I didn't want to lose anything.

* * *

Logically, death is the natural state of the world. Everything approaches stillness as entropy increases. All lives will end eventually just like how the stars in the sky will cease to shine. Stars were nothing but giant balls of flaming gas, but humans found them beautiful, linking them in their heads to form constellations, giving them meaning beyond what they were. If stars were beautiful, then life must have been too. It must have been many things, but today I was called out of school. I enter a makeshift operating room.

"Sorry for calling you here under such short notice, but…..all the hospitals in this city have been flooded with patients lately," is what old man Raiga says to me as politely as he can.

It wasn't reported on the news, but there were things brewing in the city other than gas leaks and murders. The doctor that worked under Raiga was apparently caught up in something. Even so, those things were irrelevant as Fuji-nee was sprawled in front of me.

"My boys were able to restart her heart, but…."

I could sense his desperation. He couldn't get a hold of a doctor, so he had called upon me. My brother has already been informed about my whereabouts and what I was asked to do.

"Understood."

I place my hand over her chest. I invoke one of the few things my brother had taught me.

"Trace on."

I grasp the structure. In her beating heart were 7 shards of glass, the mitral valve has been damaged, it opens and closes irregularly, bulging towards the left atrium. Those are the facts I can gleam, but there is a difference between knowing a problem and solving it.

If I don't want to lose anything, I have to be determined. I already have my answer. Anesthetic has been applied. I place the scalpel upon her chest and make the first incision.

Live or die.

The outcome will be determined in the next minute. Any slower and complications will arise. Peeling back the skin and muscle, I see them with my own eyes.

A shard in each atrium. One in the left ventricle. The other 3 had been stopped by the fibrous pericardium. From structural grasp, I knew there was a tiny piece stuck in the mistral valve flap. Tweezers in my right hand and suture needle in my left. I take aim at the 6 targets I could see.

_Remain centered…...breathe…...focus…...as the stars have taught me…_

I ignore the itch in my left hand. My hands steady and the flow of time slows…..the right hand extracts the shards and the left hand sutures as the thread dances between all my free fingers.

One, two, three, four…...five...six…..pieces have been removed and 5 sutures I have performed. I left the opening in the left atrium so I could reach the mitral valve, but I don't know how to fix such a thing. It's beyond my current ability…...

_Remain centered…...breathe…...focus…...as the stars have taught me…_

The seconds feel like minutes…...

Even so, I know my desired outcome. I know what I have at my disposal. The inputs and outputs are known. I need to move forward. I load it up. The Black Box in my head will arrive at the answer as long as I have the magical energy to feed it.

_...As the stars have taught me…_

My shining fingers move on their own to actualize what I desire. I reach it. In a matter of seconds the Mitral valve is functioning normally again. I close up the atrium.…..All that's left is to close up the initial incision.

The operation is complete. Fuji-nee is bandaged up and Raiga credits our family account with a hefty sum.

I stay around Fuji-nee's bedside for the next few hours to check for any complications and to make sense of what exactly I had done for future reference.

* * *

The sky had become dark. Even though the car is moving, the inside feels still. A testament to the suspension system. Sitting in the back seat alongside me was old man Raiga.

"I don't want to admit it, but I was worried for a moment when your hands stopped, but…...you saved Taiga," he says with a smile, "you're quick with your hands, just like your father."

The comment doesn't make any sense from what I know about my father.

"Well, he couldn't fix anything…...but believe me….his hands were fast with the way he handled …..," he continued to ramble. He certainly had energy beyond what his age would suggest.

"Still….that Healing Touch of yours…...are you a Child of God?" he asks of me.

I was only half aware of what had happened in that makeshift operating room. My hands were still trembling.

"Child of God?" The term was familiar for some reason.

"Like a descendant of Aslepi….Asclepius? Well whatever you are, it doesn't matter," he says with a laugh. In his line of work, it was imperative not to dig into things too deeply.

I can still feel the buzzing sensation in my hands. I realize now that I may have done something irresponsible. Regardless of how close we were to the Fujimura family, they were not of the moonlit world. Raiga was just your mundane Yakuza boss. If my brother found out, he would definitely scold me.

"Still, why did you entrust your granddaughter's life to me?" I ask.

"I know you've been practicing on injured animals and my go to surgeon recently got into a traffic accident. Almost ran over a foreign girl, no passport or anything. Quite a lot of them these past few weeks…..my idiot granddaughter tried saving one and you know what happened to her….…," he angrily exclaims.

He recounts the tale of how his granddaughter 10 years ago ran about the city while a serial killer was still at large, chasing down a wine barrel thief. His voice is mixed with both pride and anger. The old man was both energetic and scary. Even without knowledge about magecraft, he was someone you didn't want to mess with. The motto of the Fujimura Group was "Anything Goes". By following that motto, he could do what others deemed insane. After all, he put his faith in me, a 10 year old to perform surgery on his granddaughter. He was someone that was hard to predict. It was fortunate that he was a family friend because he would make for a most troublesome enemy.

"Serial killers 10 years ago, human traffickers today…..I may growing old, but younguns these days think they can walk all over my territory….well enough grumbling from me….. here's your stop. You siblings better take better care of yourselves ya hear!"

"Understood."

I step out of the fancy black car and stand in front of the entrance way to the Emiya residence. I stare down at my arms and realize I'm still wearing my white doctor's coat. Taiga had always berated me on my taste in clothes, but what I was wearing right now, she exclaimed suited me. I needed to get changed…..Bear pajamas or cat pajamas? I'll know when I get inside.

* * *

As I walk in, I notice that the lights were on. Did my brother's patrol end early today? Even though the news was warning people to return home early with the recent crime wave, my brother was someone who always ignored curfew without fail, so it couldn't be him.

"I shouldn't have trusted that seaweed head. No one's here!" was a high pitched voice I couldn't recognize at all. It must have been an intruder. The bounded field Kiritsugu had set up only warned the occupants of outsiders with malicious intent, but neither me or my brother were home these past few hours…..

It could be one of those victims of human trafficking that Raiga talked about, but that was a best case scenario. In my pocket in a leather sleeve were 7 cards my brother had entrusted to me. I couldn't fight as well as my brother, but I could temporarily overwrite my existence with someone that could.

"... no one's here," the intruder mumbles to herself.

I walk into the living room and see the intruder in tears by the table in the center. Those tears stop once she turns her gaze to me. She had hair as white as snow that sparkled in the light, the complete opposite to the black hair I had possessed. Her eyes were an ominous red like mine. Her build and stature…...she must have been around the same age as me. For a moment, my thoughts drift to my brother's favorite pair of swords. What struck me was that right now, such a girl was smiling at me. She genuinely looked happy.

"So you haven't summoned it yet have you?" she innocently says to me.

I sense it in the air. "Something" was present. Something similar to the cards in my pocket.

"Well, it would be no fun if everything ended too quickly."

She continues to say incomprehensible things as she plucks a strand of hair from her head forming a wire-frame sword. I reach for my pockets. One hand over a card and another over my cell phone. Whenever I call my brother, he'll stop everything he's doing and run back home without exceptions, which was why I usually never call him.

The tension in the air was such that the waiting tone on my cell phone might as well have been a siren, yet the one in front of me simply widens her smile.

"Let's play a game of tag until Onii-chan comes back," she says.

I invoke the simple words.

"Install:Saber."

I dawn the regal Briton armor and take the Holy blade in hand just in time to parry the sword she had just fired at me.

"Huh?" my assailant exclaims. She did not comprehend what was happening and started to panic. Most people are at their most dangerous and impulsive when faced with the unknown. The girl in front of me was no different.

"Berserker!"

It was only an instant, but I'm knocked away, crashing through wood and glass in the process. The dust settles and I can see the starry night sky above me. I was in the yard. I was bleeding in a few places, but my wounds quickly closed up. I feel the familiar warmth in my chest. Such was an ability of the Saber install that put it above the other 6 in most situations. It was then I saw it.

An ominous giant with a glowing red eye, Berserker. The class that boasted the highest mana consumption in exchange for power while also dulling one's ability to think. Those two downsides arguably made it the worst of the 7 to use, but right now, that Berserker was faithfully listening to the commands of that girl and didn't need to think.

"Huh? You're still alive? Well, that's good, no that's great! I can't have you die too easily. I need to teach you thoroughly just how good you've had it up until now," she says with a giddy tone.

The giant charges at me with a massive archaic sword hewn from stone. I'm able to deflect the first few blows, but even though I'm deflecting them, the raw power behind them hurts my arms. Then it comes, the swing I had no choice but to block. I hurtle through the air like a rag-doll and careen through the rusty door of the storehouse which my brother likes to call a workshop.

"I'm not going in there. I have you for that, Berserker," was the bell I could hear above the ringing in my ears.

_Live._

I don't want to lose it. I don't want to lose anything. No one wants to lose anything. We had already lost our father, I don't want to lose my brother and my brother doesn't want to lose me. That's why I can't die here, but the blood leaking from my body disagrees.

The giant cleaves the roof off along with the walls and the storehouse is no more. If I hadn't been knocked on my back, I would have lost my head.

I ignore the pain as I pick myself up, using a Holy sword to prop myself up, but that was when I noticed the warm glow around me and the intricate circle drawn on the floor.

"That's mother's…," I could've sworn I heard my enemy say from afar.

A loud crack resounds and the giant is pushed back. My left hand burns, and the faint marks on my left hand become more pronounced and together form the shape of a sword.

Appearing in front of me, between me and the giant was an older girl garbed in armor just like mine, or rather it would be more accurate to say I was garbed in armor modeled after hers. Blue and silver. Practical, yet elegant. The regal blonde girl stares at me with her emerald eyes.

"Are you my master?" was her bell-like voice that carried with it immense authority.


	5. Illya's Reality

 

* * *

In front of me is the doll papa replaced me with. A cute innocent little thing ignorant of everything. A cute innocent little thing that had everything that should have been mine. At this moment, I must have been smiling. Everything I have endured had lead to this point. I had lost many things up to this point. So many things, so many things that I might as well call it everything and I do, yet what did I even have in the first place? I came from a family of fakes after all. Papa was a liar and Mama was an imitation.

"So you haven't summoned it yet have you?" I say with a smile.

I won't need Berserker for this. No, rather this is something I would prefer to do with my own hands.

"Well, it would be no fun if everything ended too quickly."

I'll take it slow. Life is short; mine especially. It is the duty of an older sister to educate her younger sister. It would be a hassle if little sister unit runs away, so I'll just off a leg or two.

I pluck a strand of hair and prepare my weapon. Let's have fun with papa's cute little doll.

The tension is broken by a synthetic sound that permeates the air. Most likely came from something called a "cell phone". Good job little sister; I won't have to chase down our brother.

"Let's play a game of tag until Onii-chan comes back!"

With my makeshift sword suspended over me ready to fly, I aim for the leg.

"Install:Saber," were words dropped in an instant.

A dazzling glint in the light. My attack was deflected and my widened eyes take in the doll's form in its entirety. The doll had ditched the doctor costume and was now wearing a knight costume, but not any knight costume. The existence of the thing in front of me was undeniably a Servant, specifically papa's Saber from the last Holy Grail War.

Live or die. The outcome will be decided in the next split second.

"Berserker!" I call out.

The space in front of me explodes. My guardian knocks the little knight away along with the wall. That was close. I gather my breath along with my thoughts. Really, I should have expected something like this. Papa was always a cheater. That's why, I shouldn't have expected anything more. I walk out of the large impromptu door Berserker had made in the little shanty and stare into the small poor excuse of a yard. Black hair and amber eyes….

"Huh? You're still alive? Well, that's good, no that's great! I can't have you die too easily. I need to teach you thoroughly just how good you've had it up until now."

It must have been some sort of illusion. A little trick to get my guard down in front of the Saber Servant. It was a cheap trick, but a proper older sister should play along with her little sister's little games.

Saber and Berserker exchange a few blows, but it's no contest, Saber was really, really weak. Still, that disguise Saber is wearing is pretty durable. How did she even manage to put it on with her magic resistance? Well, it must not have been a proper summon. Saber was just too weak. More debris is kicked up and the clean noble Saber now finds herself in that filthy looking shed.

"I'm not going in there. I have you for that, Berserker."

With a single swing, Berserker disposes of that filthy looking building. Good riddance. I see "Saber" propping herself up with her sword and etched on the floor beneath her was a beautiful circle…..with familiar handiwork…...shining brightly…..

"That's mother's…."

Before I could get my thoughts in order, a large crack resounds in the air and Berserker is pushed back? Calm and collected with emerald eyes. A blonde beauty that could captivate both men and women alike. Exuding from that small frame was both grace and authority. Her hands seem empty, but the presence of a Holy Blade is undeniable. The being in front of me was undeniably Saber proper, the same one from 10 years ago.

Then who was the Saber from earlier? I follow the gaze of the otherworldly knight and she is as surprised as I am. The little black haired girl garbed in Saber's armor with a Holy Sword still in her hands was no illusion.

As a veteran of many battles, Saber's widened eyes regain their composure in an instant. There was only enough time for but a single question.

"Are you my master?"

Finally standing back on her own two feet, my "little sister" answers Saber's call.

"Yes!"

There is no hesitation in that voice. How could there be? My "little sister" couldn't have been mere human because neither was I. I shouldn't have expected anything less. Papa at his core, regardless of how kind he could act was the "Magus Killer". Someone who deliberately sought out useful tools. That was how I was born after all. Regardless of my childish diminutive appearance, I was an Einzbern masterpiece. Even an Einzbern failure is worth 100 ordinary magi. So, the question is how much is my "little sister" worth? I give Berserker the order as my clenched fist is released in front of me with fingers splayed out.

"Berserker, no mercy!"

Fluid stone meets solid air. A flurry of blows is exchanged between our Servants, faster than my eyes could track, but even then, I could tell that they were evenly matched. My Heracles was still stronger, but not by a wide margin…..would I have to resort to Mad Enhancement?

"You didn't even summon her properly!" is the complaint that naturally flows out of my mouth.

Saber was summoned just seconds ago without any semblance of preparation or intent so she shouldn't be this strong, but she was. My "little sister" simply watches the battle, taking Saber's movements in awe. How nice it must be for you to get such a lucky roll.

Stone meets solid air over and over. The sound barrier broke over and over. Attacks are exchanged at every angle and are parried from different ones, yet nothing changes.

Berserker can't break Saber's defense with halfhearted attacks. Everything will be decided in a single blow. Raising the huge stone sword in a single swift motion, Berserker unleashes a killing blow that can't be blocked, but Saber was waiting. Saber was waiting for her opponent to make the first gamble and by dodging the killing blow by a hair's breadth, she makes her own. Even so, my Heracles was faster and pulls away from the invisible blade.

"Even when mad, your skills are sharp," the knight muses.

Was dropping compliments mid-battle something knights actually did as a part of their Chivalrous code? An amusing fact, more amusing that the battle taking place. My eyes can't track the movements properly, yet even I could tell neither combatant was gaining an advantage. They might as well be having a staring contest for all the good that swinging around accomplished.

"Are you even trying Berserker!?"

Saber this time prepares a killing blow, but Berserker dodges it, winding up a decisive blow of his own only to be dodged. The same exchange happens a few more times, though the one who instigates it differs.

The pathetic looking yard is reduced to an even more pathetic state. The devastated uneven land is now barren, though such a place wasn't suitable for flowers in the first place.

"Huh?"

In a single moment, in a streak of blue and silver, papa's little doll closes the gap between the Servants and traps Berserker's sword with her own. A studious girl my "little sister" is.

After witnessing the exchange of blows, the flow of battle, she must have gotten down the pattern.

The earth behind Saber explodes as she takes the opening she was given and pierces my Heracles through the neck. Berserker stops moving, but it is of no concern for me.

"That's some impressive jousting, without a horse no less," I joke.

Papa's former Servant pulls her "sword" out of my Heracles and points it at me as a threat, but since it's invisible, sheathed by the air, it looks rather amusing.

"This is no laughing matter. Your Servant is dead, you can no longer fight, so I request that you surre-"

"Wait, Heracles has more liv..." my little sister warns, but it was too late.

With renewed vigor, my Heracles charges at Saber, his stone cleaver cleaving through the air, but Saber makes it in time to intercept it with her invisible sword. An audible squelchy noise is made. I can see Saber's wincing face and the blood that was leaking from her gauntlets. Well, it's her fault for not paying attention. Still, that invisible blade of hers is quite fascinating. They exchange some more serious blows, throwing some more earth around, but to me, with that invisible sword, it was like they were two kids play fighting. Still, as an older sister, I need to give compliments when they are due.

"That's correct little sister. My Heracles has more lives than a blasted cat. It's good that you've been doing your homework. What else can you tell me?" I say with a smile.

My Heracles even gains immunity to the things that have killed him before. Saber's precious sword was now as effective as a wooden stick. Saber has no means to defeat him now. Even if my victory isn't immediate, it is guaranteed. My "little sister" and Papa's former Servant, they won't last much longer. So I'll savor this moment.

"Little sister?" she mutters under her breath.

Oops, it must have slipped out. The claw happy cat got out of the bag…

My little sister was no longer in view. All I could see was the muddy earth on the ground. Berserker was on top of me, shielding me.

"Berserker, what do you…."

A pained face. That was the face Berserker was making. Something had hurt him? He had shielded me with his body, but from what? Berserker releases me just enough so I could get a glimpse of the newcomer. Standing on the nearby rooftop was a figure with a bow. Archer?

"Onii-chan!"

"Miyu, fall back," is what the stranger says. Saber quickly rushes to her Master's side and carries "Miyu" some distance away. Still, such a name is like the sound a conniving little cat would make.

An odd spiral shaped arrow is projected in that figure's free hand. The moonlight illuminates his form and I see the red hair and the amber eyes. It was definitely that other kid papa took in. He even has the same bags under his eyes. Those unforgiving eyes were trained on me. If he hates me, then that makes everything a lot easier.

"Onii-chan wait!" our younger sibling yells.

Based on what I have seen from my "little sister", what he had in his hands was no bluff. In his hands was something that was clearly a Noble Phantasm, a crystallized legend, a weapon of a heroic spirit. He notches that cruel arrow, waiting for our dear little sister to move out of the way, but….

A stream of arrows assaults the spot the red headed boy was standing on. He's forced to take a leap of faith lest he be skewered. With reinforced legs, he makes the landing no problem. He eyes his attacker.

"Archer," was the word that escapes his lips.

On the opposite roof of where Shirou had just been was a bowman decked in red. A pretty weak looking one to be honest. Though, to be fair, everyone looks weak compared to my Berserker. Archer is technically taller than average. With that white hair and tanned skin, he would have looked quite formidable if not for my Heracles being around.

"All your rambling about little sisters from earlier…and now you're going to strike down a little girl your sister's age…..you're quite the hypocrite aren't you?"

Thus a contest of shooting became one of shouting. It was loud, but not anything I'm not used to from Grandpa.

"Her age isn't a reason to let her go," Shirou says and he means it.

It seems that acting like a little girl won't have much effect on someone like him. Well, with that language, I'm not letting you go either.

"Finally caught up…...Archer, what do you think you're doing?" was the voice of another newcomer short on breath.

From behind Archer, the one with the tacky twin tails widens her eyes at the scene before her with irritation I could sympathize with.

"Two Sabers? You Emiya's better not be secretly Edelfelt!"

She must have been the Tohsaka heiress. Rather bland looking. Were they not specialized in gem-craft? I was expecting flashier clothes. My "brother" eyes the newcomer as well.

"I ignored Archer earlier since I owed you, but, why did you follow me, Tohsaka?"

Shirou readies his bow and aims it at the twin tailed heiress. Simultaneously, Archer readies his bow at Shirou and Saber readies her invisible sword, trying to gauge the newcomers. My Heracles readies his stone sword as well. Well, with an audience this big, I might as well introduce myself to everyone.

"Good evening, my name is Illyasviel Von Einzbern. Now that the final Servant has been summoned, let's have a nice, clean,  **Holy Grail War**."

I do a small curtsy, but no one returns the gesture. Maybe Grandpa was right about the people of this country being savages, but it was then…...

"Holy Grail….War?" was the response shared by the two Emiya siblings.

The younger of the two tenses up as if she could go into a panic attack any moment now. The older one simply grits his teeth and tightens his grip. So, how much did papa even tell you two? Considering the Noble Phantasms in your hands, it should have been quite a lot? The older one gathers his breath and the bow in his hands disappears, with twin swords materializing in its place. One black and one white.

Does he intend to fight without a Servant of his own? Even if armed with a Noble Phantasm, a human cannot match a hero.

That kid papa picked up seems to have a skewed sense of humor, but as I look at his face, it seems that he's completely serious.

"You aren't a Master silly, so this shouldn't concern you," as I try to correct him.

I say that, but even if he isn't a Master, I still won't spare him, though he doesn't need to know that. Well, it's not like he'll spare me after attacking his little sister. Let's just see how this game goes. I must have been giggling to myself, but the others around me weren't smiling.

"If this concerns my little sister, then it concerns me," he says without hesitation.

Shirou's frigid gaze warms up as he turns to the blonde knight garbed in blue.

"You must have been the one stealing a march on me as an older brother, but I can't say I dislike the help," he says.

A small smile appears on the knight. It seems that the two have reached an understanding. Well, I won't lose in terms of courtesy against my "brother". I turn to Archer and Tohsaka on the rooftop.

"You stopped Onii-chan from firing at us and for that, I give you my thanks," I genuinely say with a proper curtsy to boot.

Archer makes a complicated expression. How cute. Tohsaka just sighs. She's probably just jealous that I'm cuter.

The three Servants present simply eye each other. With so many factors present, everyone was just waiting for someone else to make the first move. If Saber engages Berserker, then Archer has a free shot on both of them. Logically, it would be best to eliminate Archer first as he has the range advantage. Even so, the first one who charges at Archer would expose their back. So Saber and Berserker were waiting for the other to make the first move. The Emiya siblings with their own Noble Phantasms are another set of variables. If the Servants engaged each other, the Masters will have to deal with each other and it seems that my "siblings" have the absolute advantage in this regard.

"It's getting late, my little sister needs her sleep, so can I ask all of you to leave?" the boy says as he brandishes his swords paying no heed to the craters and debris all around him.

"Well, this place doesn't seem very habitable, would you two like to stay at my place for the night? I can assure you, it's a lot bigger," I joke.

"I'm sorry, but I'll have to decline. Someone's visiting us in the morning," he say to me.

The red haired boy and the knight garbed in blue ready their weapons. They ready themselves for what they must do. They'll eliminate the greatest threat first. That of course, being me and Berserker.

Shirou rockets towards me, but to my Heracles, he might as well have not been moving. Berserker moves to intercept the redhead, but is stopped by Saber. He continues his charge with empty hands. That was when I heard it. The sound of metal slicing through the air in all directions around me. A song of death is played.

Berserker cannot shake off Saber so easily even if her weapon cannot scratch him. The explosive force which Saber propels herself with cannot be underestimated. He's forced to drop his weapon to disengage, exposing his back. Berserker tries to rush towards me to shield my body, but even so, he won't make it in time.

I close my eyes. The sound of slicing metal is all around me, but it was then I heard the sound of metal smashing against metal.

I open my eyes and see the arrows on the floor. The flying swords were intercepted by the bowman in red. Not only the swords, Archer had also shot a barrage of arrows at "Shirou", but those arrows were deflected by "Miyu" with the twirl of a crimson spear.

"Protection from arrows…"

All eyes are drawn to that little girl in blue, who had dawned the appearance and power of a Lancer Servant. Everyone was still. Everyone was trying to comprehend what had transpired. That little girl…...she spared me. She could have stopped all of Archer's arrows, but she purposely let Archer interrupt her brother's attack. It was frustrating. It was frustrating. In the end, I was always the doll to be played with. A cry had escaped my lips.

"Are you making fun of me?"

I was crying. This war was my chance for once, to be the one that plays with others when I was always the one being played with. By Papa, by the Einzbern and now, by my "little sister".


	6. Archer's Acceptanc

* * *

 

Again, my body moved on its own. The arrows fly before I even notice. The bow is still in my hands.

" _Archer?"_ is the voice of my Master that rings in my head.

The redheaded boy in my sight, the moron that appeared in the mirrors in my youth, I cannot help but loathe him. I wanted to believe that he was a different person, but in some way, I can't help but think that he's even worse than what I was. Even if that boy is someone who can strike down a little girl without hesitation, that "little sister" whom I have no recollection of still defends him.

In her hands is Gae Bolg, the Noble Phantasm of Cu Chulainn. Not just the weapon, she has some of his skill too. Just like that irish hero, she can knock down any projectile in her field of vision. She intercepted my arrows, but she did not intercept all of them.

She did not block the arrows meant to intercept the married blades that were converging on Illya's neck. "Miyu" didn't want Illya to die. From that girl's face, it was clear she didn't want anyone to die in front of her. To have such a sentiment is foolish, but, for a child to think in such a way, I can't say it's wrong.

Even so, everyone becomes an adult someday. There is a day when a person must accept that reality isn't kind. People die meaninglessly. There are people that simply cannot be saved and there are people that the world is simply better without. I knew that truth from the very beginning, yet I still sought it; an ending where everyone could be saved.

I never retreated, I was never understood, always alone, chasing a meaningless ideal. My life had no meaning, yet as I look at that familiar boy, his life already has meaning. He wasn't the same as me. He's a completely different person. Unlike me back then, his priorities are clear, he knows for certain who he needs to save. He did not claim to be a hero or even try to become one. All he was doing right now was saving the people he knew by striking down those he didn't.

A boy who only wanted to save his sister. To any other heroic spirit, it would have sounded like nonsense, but the "me" recorded on the Throne of Heroes had responded to that nonsense and granted him power. As a heroic spirit removed from the concept of time, the specifics of the boy before me did not matter in the slightest. There was only one question in my mind. He was being perfectly rational; I accepted his desire, yet why couldn't I accept him when he stands before me?

"Are you making fun of me?" was the cry of a familiar girl.

A white haired girl who was played with by others her entire life was crying in front of me. She was someone I remembered well. At the end of my Holy Grail War, I was offered a wish.

 _"Now, answer. If you wish for it, I shall give you the Holy Grail,"_  were the words spoken by a fake priest back then.

My earliest memories were always of fire, where I was the only survivor. After Kiritsugu adopted me, I would often go back to that burned field where nothing remained. Where I would open an nonexistent door, walk through the hallway that no longer existed, and smile at my mother who wasn't there anymore, whose face I had forgotten.

" _I don't need it, I can't wish for such a thing,"_ were words I said back then to the priest.

I was offered a wish, but I refused it. Back then, I swore to myself that I must not take back the past because if I did that, everything would become a lie, the tears, the pain, the memories. For that reason, I couldn't give back what was taken from that white haired little girl I had saved back then; a chance. She never got a chance to live. Her lifespan was cut short in order for her to take the role of the Lesser Grail by her "family". That was the truth in my timeline.

Illya, the daughter of the man who saved me is destined to die soon no matter what happens in this unreasonable ritual. I was always a hypocrite and a fake. I had swore to myself to not take back the past, yet I answered the call to this Holy Grail War for that very reason; to erase the contemptible self that gave rise to me. If there was one truth that remains in me, it is that I didn't want the people in front of me to cry and right now a little girl was crying.

"Archer, what are you doing?" my Master asks me.

I had descended from the roof, giving up the vantage point I had. I was walking slowly towards them. Everyone was on guard, staring at me. Saber was on guard.

"What are you planning Archer?"

Even though she said that, she simply watched on as I kept walking. Even Berserker simply stood back and observed me. They could sense no hostility in me. Before anyone knew it, the crying little girl is before me. I place my palm on top of her head.

"Huh?" was the surprise that escaped the little girl's mouth. She looks up at me. I had forgotten how painful it was to bear that stare.

I aim my gaze at the boy who wasn't me. From that little girl with amber eyes just like his standing behind him, he couldn't possibly be me. Unlike me, the fire did not take everything away from him. Even if he's a completely different existence, I cannot condone what he has done. It seems that I'm sentimental to the core.

"Is it fun to torture a little kid, Emiya Shirou?" I say.

"Emi….ya?" Saber mutters under breath.

"I….." Shirou begins to say.

The boy's expression was that of a broken machine. He did not understand what sort of face he should have been making at that moment. For that reason, his doting sister was concerned.

"Onii-chan?"

In response to that voice, he responds with a smile. That's right, unlike me, your life has meaning. Even if you don't claim to be a hero, in front of your little sister, you have to be the caring older brother she believes you to be. Even if you aren't good, even if you're just empty, even if you don't care at all about the girl named Illyasviel Von Einzbern, you have a duty to fulfill. Your sister saved Illya, your sister didn't want Illya to die, so to continue being her older brother, you must choose your next actions carefully.

"No, it isn't fun," is the response he gives to my question.

The boy who wasn't me drops on his knees, places his palms on the ground and prostrates himself before of Illya. His forehead touches the ground. Even though he was only doing this to appease his own little sister, that fact mattered little. At this point, Illya's tears had stopped.

"What's this?" she asks.

"Dogeza. He's begging for forgiveness," I explain.

"I apologize for my rude behavior earlier….Illya," the boy says trying his best to pronounce the unfamiliar name.

The white haired girl stares at the boy on the ground, then turns her gaze to the black haired girl. Illya is upset, but she understands that not once has the target of her violence ever stared back at her with contempt. To meet the fury of her target's older brother was only natural. Even with that cursed spear in hand, the only thing present on that black haired girl's face was concern.

Illya breaks eye contact, brushes away my hand and turns around to leave, ordering her giant to do the same.

"Berserker, we're leaving."

With an almost indiscernible glow, Lancer's armaments melt away and a doctor's white coat remains on the small frame of the little black haired girl. That girl reaches out towards the retreating figure.

"Wait," was the word that Miyu mustered the courage to say.

"What is it?" Illya answers without turning around.

"You came here for a reason didn't you? Is it wrong of me to ask you what that reason is?"

Innocence and compassion can be seen in those amber eyes of that little girl. In some small way, I can understand the reason why the boy who wasn't me turned out the way he did.

"I came here to hurt you, nothing more than that," were the cold words from the girl who had just been crying.

"Familiarity breeds attempt. Motives for violence fall under instrumental and expressive, but you clearly came here to express something. We aren't strangers are we? So can you tell me what am I to you and what are you to me?"

Illya, slightly unnerved simply quickens her pace with the Greek hero trailing behind her. Saber tightens her grip on the sword in her hands. The enemy that had just attacked without mercy or notice had just turned their backs. As a knight, it was clear that she was conflicted, even so, she was held back by my gaze. I won't let her get past me.

"Master, we should….," Saber starts.

"Let them go Saber," Miyu commands.

" _Archer, follow her,"_  is the command that rings in my head.

* * *

"I didn't need your help you old hag," Illya says to Rin who was leaning on the wall right outside the Emiya residence with one eye closed. A rather thick book was in her hands.

"Archer did that on his own. Still, you seem to know something about the Emiya family."

"Why should I tell you anything third rate? You should be happy I haven't reduced you into some paste on the ground."

Illya walks past Rin and continues walking away, but Rin follows with me not too far off. Berserker doesn't do anything. The size contrasting pair did not see us as a threat worth any attention. It was fortunate that Rin had already discarded some pride after witnessing the previous exchange. Casting away the unnecessary was how magi operated.

"That Emiya family with all those Noble Phantasms, they have the strongest Servant Saber to boot."

"My Berserker is the strongest," is what Illya says as she walks further away.

Rin was annoyed, but she was hiding it well…..for Rin that is. Rin chases after the small figure.

"So? Do you really want someone outside of the three founding families to take the prize?"

"Outsider? Well, you aren't exactly wrong, but the grail already belongs to me. I don't intend to share it," which were words with a few grains of truth.

"Aha! So there is a connection between the Einzbern and the Emiya families," was the the grain Rin was able to pick up.

"The fact you were able to pick that up, maybe you aren't stupid, but it really just shows me how ignorant you are."

The smaller girl quickens her pace, but me and my Master quicken ours.

"What was that brat?" Rin yells.

Illya simply smiles. A very smug smile at that. As merciless as I remember.

"You've never heard of the Magus Killer have you? Maybe calling you an old hag is too good for you since you don't seem to know anything. What did your father even teach you?"

Rin makes a pained face. A certain button was pushed.

"Fine, I would feel bad if poor Archer had such an ignorant Master like you, so I'll tell you. Emiya, the Magus Killer was contracted by the Einzbern family to win the Holy Grail War," Illya says without paying any heed to Rin's expression.

"They entrusted that task to an outsider?" Rin says with surprise.

"No, Kiritsugu married into the Einzbern family, so he wasn't exactly an outsider, but right before the grail was in his grasp, he threw it away, that's why….."

"They entrusted his daughter to take revenge on on the Emiya family," Rin says as a matter of fact.

Illya stares incredulously at the taller girl.

"Well, that explains why they sent a child. I always suspected that those two aren't pure human, must be part Einzbern homunculus or something. Well, that's not much different from the beef the Edelfelt family has with me," Rin continues to add.

It should have been nonsensical rambling, but Illya seems to be taking it seriously? They keep walking without paying heed to the destination.

"What makes you think they aren't pure human?" is the question Illya poses.

"The Noble Phantasms weren't a clue? Well, red eyes are an indication of being something other than human and it wasn't long ago that little girl had red eyes just like yours," Rin says as she flips through the thick unfamiliar book.

"What's that?" Illya says as her eyes light up.

"I took a little detour through their house. Quite a lot of these lying around actually. The kids around here don't call me Spirit Detective Rin for nothing," Rin says to herself with a grin that oozed with self satisfaction, pointing her finger gun at the rather thick book.

My Master for this Holy Grail War, should she be praised or pitied? Spirit Detective Rin? Weren't you just a thief? Did kids see you fire your Gandr? Well, considering she probably had a few run ins with that "Shirou" over the years, some strange rumors must have been started. Just like the rumors about that "illusionary castle" attended by maid sisters.

"Give me," the white haired girl orders Rin, but Rin refuses.

"Do we have an alliance?" Rin asks as she cocks the metaphorical hammer on her gun.

"Fine, whatever," Illya concedes. Rin hands her the book with a smug look.

Illya takes the thick sea blue book I initially assumed was some sort of tome in her hands. It was entitled "Ocean Memories". It seems like this "Shirou" was a lot more dangerous than I ever was. Every page was filled with photos of the Emiya family's annual trip to the beach. I stand over Illya in spiritual form as she flips through the pages. It had been a long time since I had seen Kiritsugu's face. I don't remember that many photos with him, but now there is this tome, filled to the brim. The contents weren't what I had expected, but were unsettling nonetheless.

A man who looked like he would keel over any minute. A man who looked like he was perpetually in pain. A man who was slowly being drained of life. A weary man who tried his best to smile.

A cheerful brown haired girl that seemed completely out of place in the group. It was certainly Fuji-nee and despite the people that surrounded her, she was always smiling.

A young red haired boy with bags under his eyes that did not befit his age. The noticeable streaks of white hair was hard not to notice, along with patches of tan. Was I in trouble? Even with such a ragged appearance akin to some sort of Chimera, he tried his best to smile.

A small black haired girl with red eyes and a vacant expression that couldn't have belonged to a human child. It was a frightening sight. She did not even attempt to smile. The older girl in the photos at some points even tried to pry open the small girl's mouth while her "older brother" made a rather scary face.

As the pages are flipped, it was quickly apparent that Kiritsugu missed a few of the annual outings to the beach. The pages also told a story of a boy experimenting with hair dye and skin cream, trying to cover up his "irregularities". Part way through, Kiritsugu never shows up again. Ever so slowly, a smile crept up on the face of that small child as she grew. By the final pages, the inhuman red eyed girl had amber eyes just like her "brother" with a smile that put all others she made before to shame. By then, she looked like any other ordinary human girl with her ordinary looking older brother.

After looking at the contents, I don't even know what's real anymore. Did he not notice how spooky the contents were or was he just having fun?

Illya bites her lip as she closes the album shut. Did she catch on to my connection with that boy?

"That lying fake, that thieving cat, she really did steal everything didn't she? She really is making fun of me!" Illya utters with disbelief. Her vigor is renewed, her resolve for revenge strengthened, but now that she knows her enemy, she'll be cautious. She'll bide her time. A wicked smile appears on her face. I had forgotten how much of a little devil she could be.


	7. Saber's Questioning

* * *

 

"Emiya," is the name that I mutter beneath my breath. The name of my previous Master and the name of the Master I now serve. A trifling matter. The other contestants of the Holy Grail War have left and all that remained were my Master, me and her brother standing on ruined ground. The boy was certainly tired. The air was still and it was only from the stillness that I could see the cuts on the boy's body, but my Master was already a step ahead. Her voice resounds in my head.

Remain centered…...breathe…...focus…...as the stars have taught me…

A swift motion of the hand, a long strand of hair is plucked and with quick indecipherable movements with her hands, the boy is patched up so quickly that he could not even react to the pain. It was an odd sight, but what am I to question the methods of magi? Instead, her brother questions it.

"...Isn't that the same trick you patch up your pajamas? You didn't use that trick earlier when Fuji..."

"Stop thinking about weird things Onii-chan. Of course I know the difference between skin and fabric," she says as a matter of fact.

Her brother smiles tepidly at her response. The expression of his face communicated the fact he wasn't completely convinced.

I look around the yard, the displaced earth, the shattered wall. It certainly wasn't a place fit for habitation, but magi have their methods for such things as well. My Master takes out a card, a different from the one before and begins a different sort of patchwork.

"Install: Caster."

Wrapped in robes that did not belong in the modern era even by the standards of magi, with indiscernible words, words lost to time, I am able to witness what the "Emiya" estate had looked like before. For someone who is used to residing in enclosed castles, the large open space of the estate was nostalgic. Simpler days when I simply addressed Sir Ector as father and Kay as big brother in the open. It was before my "family" got complicated. Still, such openness was something most magi should have abhorred as it let the mana leak way. Once the repairs were done, the otherworldly robes are cast away in motes of light. My Master was tired. She clasps one of her eyes. It seemed like she was finally processing what had happened just minutes earlier.

"It's time for bed," the older brother calls out.

"...Alright," she answers while still lost in thought. Her breath was ragged and she was on edge, but she quickly corrects her posture. A smile blooms, but it was somewhat off. It was clear to me that she was putting an act in front of her older brother, just as he was putting an act in front of her. In front of her older brother, she must continue being the "happy" little sister.

We all make our way inside.

My Master changes into what appeared to be a…..bear suit and that seems to calm her down. I was given one modeled after a lion. It seems that tastes have changed since my last summon. I was dragged into the bathroom to brush my teeth, something Servants don't need to do, but as I entered, looking around, there was something missing.

No mirror in sight.

Though judging by the markings on the wall, there used to be one. It's absence was glaring. Mirrors may have been rare in my era, but even the poorest of households kept polished metal around. It could be I wasn't thinking like Merlin. To magi, mirrors could hold special meaning and there are various ways enemy magi could take advantage of them. Was this done in preparation for the Holy Grail War? Still, there were many questions to ask, though as a Servant, I was not in the position of asking as I learned from the previous "Emiya" who managed to marry someone like Irisviel. Kiritsugu did everything in his power to discourage me from talking. Were these kids the same? Still, children cannot be judged by their parentage. That was why I had to test the waters despite my disadvantageous position.

"Any reason why you have a lion suit in my size?" I ask the two siblings.

"They're pajamas and the store at the time only had the lion model in that size, but Miyu really really wanted it," Shirou explains while rubbing the back of his head with a smile plastered all over his face.

"It'll fit me eventually Onii-chan," my agitated Master responds.

So it was meant to be sleepwear and not some sort of costume to be worn by a performer. Still, the modern world is far more convenient than the time I had lived in. It would have saved my own brother some of his pride back then when I wanted to dream of a lion running across the plains.

_"No way, I carved an old lion that could not even kill a mouse…...….."_

True, his carving wasn't anything up to standards people could buy at a store nowadays, but it was something carved with his own two hands. Though, I admit, the lion suit I had on now, if I were to fall asleep, I myself would be the lion running across the plains. Despite both being modeled after a lion, they were two items that could not be directly compared.

I'm handed a toothbrush and my little Master is already brushing. The lack of a mirror was really noticeable now.

_"Did something happen to the mirror?"_  I whisper to him.

_"Miyu accidentally broke it?"_  he whispers back.

If it was simply broken it could have been easily fixed with the mage-craft my Master had displayed earlier.

_"Every mirror in the house?"_  I inquire.

_"Yes?"_

It seems that all Emiya's have a tendency to hide things.

* * *

Right now, the small Emiya that I was contracted with was sleeping soundly and Shirou was watching my every movement. His soft expression before when his sister was still awake must have been something of an illusion, because when I returned his gaze, all I could see were eyes like Kiritsugu's. Tired, distrustful eyes. It seems that he really is Kiritsugu's son. Despite our mutual understanding during that battle from earlier, he doesn't trust me. He calls me out to follow him and we enter a large empty room with a polished wooden floor quite a ways away from the room in which my Master slept. My eyes gravitate to the training swords. It was clear what this room was for.

He picks one of the bamboo blades from the rack and throws one to me. I grasp it in my hands. After years of wearing metal gauntlets, the superfluous fabric between my hands and the hilt of the practice weapon was of no concern to me.

"So what are you? You didn't save my sister for purely altruistic reasons I assume," he asks me, getting straight to the point.

"I am a Servant and your sister is my Master for this Holy Grail War," was the simplest answer I could provide. At the end of my statement, he makes a swing, but I repel it easily.

"Master you say?"

I could sense no dishonesty in his claim of ignorance, so I answer him honestly.

"Yes, she is my Master and as such, I will be her sword, follow her orders, defeat her enemies and protect her."

He continues his attack. He strikes like a clear stream. There was no malice in his strikes. All he was doing was testing me. Testing my ability. Testing my character. I parry all of his attacks and the air echoes. I'll display my resolve with my next attack. I aim at an opening, but he repels it with a second bamboo blade that wasn't there before.

"But this is all so you can get your hands on the Holy Grail correct?" he accuses me.

A piercing gaze. He's judging me. He's staring at me like he knows what I desire. He's staring at me like he already knows everything he needs to know, just like his father before him. It seems it was fortunate of me that he wasn't my Master.

"Haah…"

The sound of cracking wood resounds.

Still, I cannot deny that his technique could not have possibly belonged to a cruel man. If anything else, the fact he was a brother who put his little sister above everything else was not a lie.

We exchange a dance of blows, a dance of wooden swords. I counter his two swords one after the other and the dance suddenly stops as I stop my blade right before it smashes into his exposed neck. This was just a friendly spar after all. My sword skill taken by itself was superior to his, but from that battle with Illyasviel from earlier, I knew he had quite a few other skills at his disposal that he simply hasn't brought to bear against me yet. While he was still at my mercy I counter his question with my own.

"All Servants seek the Grail to have a wish granted. That much should be obvious. I have answered your questions Shirou, so answer mine, what were those cards from earlier?"

In that exchange with Berserker, the sword that was in my Master's hands at that time was certainly Excalibur. It wasn't a fake, but a second instance of the sword I wielded. There is a good chance that my identity has already been compromised, yet Excalibur wasn't the only Noble Phantasm she brought to bear. There was also that red spear, as well as her usage of ancient magics to fix the house. Whatever those cards are, they allowed her to manifest the power of a heroic spirit.

"I don't really know either I admit. I thought you would know what they were considering you are inscribed on one, but then again, who am I to say?" he says with an unwavering gaze.

"If this is an issue of trust, then you shan't worry for your sister holds Command Spells," I say.

"Command Spells?" was yet another question that escapes his mouth.

I was supposed to be the one asking the questions at this point, but it seems he has the same ability that Kay had. Even though he could never beat me when it came to swordsmanship, Kay would always win in a battle of words. I rescind my blade and answer his question.

"Three absolute orders that we cannot deny even if the laws of the world stand in our way. They are the symbol of a Master, our anchor to this world."

"Anchor huh?" he reaffirms what I had said.

His expression softens just a bit. He breathes out. He ponders some more. Heroic spirits could not be taken lightly, especially witnessing what we could do first hand. If the enemy Masters from tonight were to form an alliance, which was highly likely after Archer's protective display over Berserker's Master, then every tool was needed. Even if he didn't like me, he couldn't deny that I was a necessary tool for his sister's survival in the coming battles.

"Now that you understand your sister's position, as an older brother, it's time you come up with a plan of action, Shirou."

He sits on the floor and begins to contemplate before he begins butchering a certain name.

"Plan? Plan? I would need to know the competition before that. That girl…Ill..ya ...von Einz..bern she singled out our house…..she singled out Miyu..."

He utters the name of the cruel girl with white hair and red eyes just like my previous Master's unfortunate wife. Supposedly, it's been 10 years since then, so that girl can't be Irisviel's daughter. That daughter of hers was as innocent as a fairy.  _Just like Morgan once was?_  I shake the less appetizing thoughts out of my head. That girl must have just been another Einzbern homunculus. It still perplexes me why Irisviel would love someone like Kiritsugu, but considering my own "marriage", I probably have no right to judge Kiritsugu as a husband. Still, it was clear that the name "Einzbern" was unfamiliar to him. I needed to confirm it.

"Do you not know of the Einzbern?" I ask.

I await a response, but he simply looks at me, expecting me to continue. He really doesn't know anything and I assume his sister, my Master knows even less than he does. His expression tenses up once more and he brandishes his bamboo sword once more.

"Then how do you know of them, Saber?"

It seems I made a mistake. I must have said too much, but now that he knows, I don't have much of a choice but to tell him. Things would be problematic if my Master's brother continued to be antagonistic towards me.

"It was the family I fought on behalf of in the last Holy Grail War."

His eyes widen. His grip tightens. He begins to open his mouth.

"Then you'll.."

I cut him off mid-sentence.

"Right now, I serve your sister. With the Command Spells, she can even command me to commit suicide. Does that answer suffice?"

I was forced to recount something unsightly again, yet he was still not convinced and continues to bombard me with questions.

"If you served them before, then you should have some information on them right?"

"They are alchemists based in Germany. Specialized in creating things, they aren't suited for battle," I explain.

Even so, he is not convinced.

"Aren't suited for battle?"

In his hands, a white sword is materialized. It was undoubtedly a Noble Phantasm. That's right, creating weapons on the spot, that was how this boy had fought earlier. The boy before me wasn't normal and neither was his sister. I look into his eyes, the bags under them, he had been forcing himself to stay awake for past few hours, but he could no longer hide his fatigue. Even though his body was fit, he had been pushing against his limits.

"If you don't rest, then you won't be suited for battle either," I say to him.

"We'll continue this later," he says to me. He dismisses his weapon as he exits the dojo with defined steps in contrast to his fatigue. Even if his body was still capable, his mind was not running perfectly.

* * *

I wait in the living room and from the beams of light, it seemed morning had come. It was then I heard the sound of a turning key. An intruder? It was times like this I wished I had a spiritual form like a regular Servant. Still, I could sense no malice in the air. If there was, the bounded field would have went off. The footsteps approach closer and I eventually get to see the "intruder".

Purple hair and eyes. These eyes silently stare at me. There is nothing but silence, until the girl before me opens her mouth.

"A-are you a friend of Miyu's?"

I analyze the girl, but I can't see her as a threat. She was older than my Master, though around the same age as Shirou, maybe younger. How did she come to such a conclusion?

"Y-yes," I answer her.

She smiles at me. I had refrained from attacking her earlier since I did not want to risk antagonizing Shirou any further. I decided I would simply observe.

"I knew it was only a matter of time until she met someone with the same taste in clothes," which were words spoken with considerable enthusiasm.

I look at the lion costume I was wearing and realize it's not the norm. I knew my Master was unusual, but it seemed like such a thing was common knowledge.

"Well, make yourself at home, breakfast will be ready soon," she says as she leaves.

I follow her. With the way she navigates the house, she must have been a regular visitor. She enters the kitchen and begins preparing. I was peeking at her, but she noticed my presence.

"D-do you want to watch?" she asks me.

I walk into the kitchen and see her work. Nothing was unknown to her in this kitchen. She knew the placement of every knife, spatula, plate and utensil. She didn't even need to look at her hands as she opened the cupboards and the drawers. She begins cooking something I wasn't familiar with, but this was a foreign land after all. In my time during the last Holy Grail War, as a Servant that required no food, I did not partake in any of the local cuisine so my food knowledge was lacking.

The sound of rhythmic cutting and the heating of a pan.

With her swift movements, it was clear that this was a daily routine for her. The Emiya kitchen was no stranger to her. I watch the meal being cooked from start to finish, checking for any dubious ingredients, but I could not identify any. The pleasant scent was too distracting.

There were five plates, one was probably meant for me, so it was only natural I test it for poison.

"Wait..," the girl calls out to me, but it was too late.

I had zoned out her voice as I completed my duty. As I came to my senses, one of the plates was scraped clean. What was this sorcery?

"Nevermind…," she says with a low voice.

She takes the completed dishes and walks away. I follow her and it seemed like the Emiya siblings were awake from the voices coming through the walls.

"I shouldn't have overlooked last night, but…..there's quite a lot of dirt in your hair. Why didn't you say anything back then?"

"As an older brother, shouldn't you have been more attentive, Onii-chan?"

"Please find it in your heart to forgive this failure, princess."

It comes into view. I stare at the center of that small table and there they were, the two siblings. My eyes are drawn to his hands. Those hands that had intercepted my blows last night with such ferocity, those hands which were so ready to strike down that little white haired girl, they were capable of such gentleness? Instead of swords or a bow, in his hands was a comb. Slow and practiced, the older brother brushes the hair of his little sister, something Kay never did for me. Still, I shouldn't have been surprised. In my memories, the image of Kiritsugu giving piggyback rides to a white haired girl still lingers. I still can't understand those of the Emiya family.

Shirou stares at me with a cold gaze. As he turns his head, his expression warms up until he's facing the girl beside me. The contrast was startling.

"Thank you again Sakura," were the words directed at her.

"It's nothing Senpai," were her words directed at him.

The three sit at that table paying no heed to me. Their world was at peace. The world those three lived in was far removed from mine. In front of me was a picturesque family and I felt like something would break if I entered the scene. A fleeting illusion. It was then my Master directs her gaze at me.

"Saber, are you eating?"

I wanted to explain to her that Servants didn't need food, but I didn't want to bring up the fact I had already ate my portion. Five portions were made, but only three people were sitting at the table. There was still an extra portion…...

"T-that plate is for Fujimura-sensei…," the girl named Sakura protests.

"...Fuji-nee is still resting," my Master says to her.

This "Sakura" girl too was an unusual one.

"Did she get into an accident again?" was that girl's response.

It seemed like this, "Fujimura" was quite the character as well.

"It's fine, come sit next to me….," Sakura says that, but it was clear that she was on guard. Even so, she tries to be as welcoming as she can.

I look at that small square table, with its imposing edges, yet even with those edges, it was somehow more inviting than my own "Round Table". Still, I felt something off, but I cast those thoughts away and take my position. The Holy Grail War has started and as such, there were things I needed to explain to my Master, but that could wait after breakfast was done, right? Wars cannot be won without supplies I tell myself, but I knew that was a lie from the generous amount of mana that was already being poured into me. Servants didn't need food, all they needed was mana, yet…... the plate before me was already empty.


	8. Shirou's Worries

 

* * *

" _If I could have just one wish, I want Shirou and I to be true brother and sister…. such a thing could never happen right?"_

Reality and dreams are separate things and yet….

" _How could it not happen?"_

People move forward because of dreams.

* * *

I wake up to another ordinary morning or I wished it was. The the extra "guest" forced me to acknowledge that the peaceful days that I didn't deserve were ending soon.

I watch "Saber" as she inhales her food and it is quite the sight to behold. How many years ago has it been now since I faced her doppelganger? In my memories, she was always a terrifying enemy, but the Saber sitting across from me was certainly even stronger than that monster. If we were come to serious blows, my chances of victory didn't look very good. I had gotten stronger as I grew, but I wasn't as strong as I would have liked.

As Saber sat down, I was forced to acknowledge my current reality.

I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready, but the world waits for no one.

Amber eyes like my own stare at me with concern. Eyes that were once red just a few weeks ago. What was supposed to be a passing dream had come true. It was supposed to be a miracle worth celebrating, but there were too many things in my dreams that I didn't want to come true. I'm quite the pathetic brother aren't I? I let my unease rub off on my little sister, the broken bathroom mirror was evidence of that….

We made a trip to the ocean a week ago despite the cold to combat that unease and Miyu was happy for a time, but it didn't last long. A few photos were taken, but Miyu wanted to leave as soon as she reached the ocean's edge. No photos were taken after that. Now that I think about it, I couldn't find the album containing those photos yesterday after the attack…...I only have the old photos backed up.

"Is something wrong Senpai?" Sakura whispers to me. It seems Sakura had picked up on it too.

I return Sakura's gaze and take her features in. Sakura was in front of me right now, but ….

" _You didn't choose me, but I love you, so I'll protect you,"_  were her parting words in my dreams.

How much longer will she remain?

For years now, Sakura was hiding something. For years now, she had been monitoring me and my instincts told me that she was ordered to do so. Our relationship was supposed to be a lie…...

Yet, I didn't want it to end. That's why I didn't say anything about the occasional bruises that appeared on her body or why she never joined us on our annual trip to the ocean. That's why I didn't ask anything about her rummaging through our home during those trips. That's why I didn't ask anything about her family or her situation. If I uncover her "truth", she will surely disappear. If I uncover her "truth", Miyu will be dragged into that "mess". That's why I continue smiling in front of her as I always do in order to keep her by my side.

Such selfishness cannot be forgiven for.

"That" dream would always taunt me. That's why I hated sleeping and preferred patrolling, but what Saber said last night was correct.

" _If you don't rest, then you won't be suited for battle either."_

I gaze down at my plate. If I didn't take good care of my body, then just like in those dreams, I really would lose everything. I force out a smile, trying to reassure those around me. I didn't have to worry about Saber who was eyeing her empty plate, wishing that it wasn't empty.

I look down at my own plate. Sakura spent all that effort coming here this morning, yet I couldn't taste anything.

"You've been improving," I say to her.

* * *

 

The walk to school was just like any other, except with Saber trailing behind us still wearing the lion jammies.

"She's even more of a fanatic than you are, isn't she?" Sakura says to Miyu.

"..."

In some small way, it was clear that Miyu's pride took some damage from the look of her adorable face, though the specifics weren't very clear. Despite her "properness", she had her own quirks. That was why no one said anything with Saber trailing behind her as we entered the school building.

Friends her own age were something I wanted her to make, but in the end she skipped grades for my sake. When she still attended a different school with kids her own age, I always got in trouble for coming to school late and leaving early. It was something she always scolded me over. By attending the same school as me, she tried to ease my burdens.

She would always insist that I join clubs and make more friends, which were all things that could apply to her. If she knew that the reason I patrol the city every night was for her sake, she would have stopped me. That's why I would always tell her that being a "Hero of Justice" was just a hobby of mine, a hobby I inherited from dad. It was both a blessing and a curse that I haven't run into any of those "card specters" over the years, but it seems the "real" Holy Grail War was starting. All that training, all that patrolling was not a mistake. I don't remember a time when I wasn't paranoid, but in the end, that paranoia wasn't wrong. Still, it's unfortunate that she's stuck with an older brother like me; an older brother that needs to be doted upon by his little sister…Miyu really deserves more. All I do is make her worry.

At the very least, Sakura is with her.

* * *

The morning passes by without fanfare. The bell rings and lunch period has begun, but my classmates were still here, piling in front of the entrance way.

"She's like a snow fairy!" someone calls out.

"A yuki onna," cries another.

"Give it a few more years," was something I didn't want to hear.

My right hand balls up. That girl who was after Miyu was here.

"You better not be lying again!" was that same haughty voice from last night.

"W-when did I lie?" was Shinji's stuttering voice as if his life was in danger, but knowing that girl, it was.

From the corner I see her now. Red eyes are trained on me. No hostility could be felt. That girl right now was simply beaming.

"So Onii-chan was here. You weren't lying," were the words directed at Shinji who had already run away.

"Humph! That's rude!" she says with a pout.

I stare at my enemy and load the gun in my head. Is she really intending to start something here in broad daylight? No, she came here specifically since she knew I wouldn't try to pull something with all these witnesses around. It didn't matter if I was stronger. It didn't matter her guardian wasn't around.

"I see. You recovered from last night, Onii-chan," were her words with a suggestive smile that could easily be taken out of context.

All around me I hear whispering. All around me I feel the stares. What everyone else was thinking didn't have to be said. What people already thought of me didn't have to be said. The chatter gets louder and people take pictures, but that little girl silences them all with her next words.

"The people of this country really are savages aren't they?"

"That's some sense of humor you have," I say to her.

She turns her gaze to my classmates eyeing each of them before turning her gaze back to me. She tilts her body as if to say, " _let's wander somewhere else to chat…..or your classmates will have to entertain me."_

Despite her childlike appearance, I was uneasy. This girl could take lives as easily as one would pick flowers. People will die if I don't follow her. She wasn't someone who understood "mercy". Her life was threatened last night and the only thing that was hurt was her pride.

I walk towards the girl and follow her with my bento still in hand. We walk down the halls and the chattering never stops.

"So this is one of those facilities where troublesome children are quarantined by age, right? She must be really naughty then," was her nonsensically offhand comment before sprinting down the hall, spinning in circles with me trailing behind.

"You've never been to a school before?" I ask.

She stops twirling for a second and twists her head.

"I was born knowing everything I needed to know," she says to me before saying, "let's race to the roof!"

I could ditch her right now, but I didn't want to leave her alone unsupervised. No telling what she would do if she ran into Miyu.

"Wait," I call out. With the reckless way she was ascending up the stairs, it was easy for her to slip and fall, but why did I care? Was it my instincts as a big brother?

We make our way to the roof and no one is around. She gazes down the schoolyard from above. I look around, steeling myself for that giant to appear. A chilling gust of wind blows and she quickly leans on me.

"It's warm," she whispers absentmindedly. She sniffs around.

"Is that food?" as she gazes upon the bento in my hands.

"You'll have to thank Sakura later if want it." I tell her.

"Well, it probably won't fit my tastes anyways," she says to me as she pushes me aside. I hope Sakura didn't hear that.

"Well, what would fit your tastes," I ask her.

"Hamburgers? They taste like slaughter or something," was an answer she wasn't really certain of.

Come to think of it, they were Kiritsugu's favorite food. Miyu had asked me to teach her how to make them when she was four when she learned that fact.

"Slaughter huh?" were words I just had to repeat.

"What's wrong?" she says to me.

"That's not something a girl your age should say," was something I had to say. It was strange, but the girl in front of me was somehow pitiful.

I stare her down and she stares up at me. She reaches her hand out and smudges the concealer on my face. She traces the patch of dark skin beneath my eye with her finger.

"Poor thing. You don't have properties of a "cup" and yet... What did she do to you?" she says to me with pity.

One body, one soul, that's the general rule. By using mage-craft derived from that "card", my body was constantly being invaded by that other "me". If I'm too reckless, I could lose myself and break like those "dolls" in my dreams. No that's wrong, those dolls couldn't break because they were broken from the start. If this girl knows about that then…..

"Why would…," I began to say, but I was cut off when she took out that missing photo album out of her purple coat. I prepare myself. She hands me back the album.

"Rin stole this, so I only came here to return it, but that fake isn't really your little sister is she?"

I take the album from her hands and cast it away to the side. I needed both my hands at the ready.

"Family isn't something determined solely by blood," I tell her.

"Then why did she feel like changing the color of her eyes her parents gav...?," were words I couldn't let her finish.

"That's….," was all I could say to cut her off. My heart stops for a moment. By making a connection with me through a wish, Miyu had unknowingly severed another. Ruby eyes stare through me. I try to find the words, but none come out, but her next words throw me further into a loop.

"Say, wouldn't you be better off as my Onii-chan, Onii-chan? I'll promise I'll treat you a lot better than she does."

Her words only serve to anger me. Even if she didn't intend to, she's making fun of me. I stand my ground.

"You and I have no relation, besides…..."

I stare around at our surroundings. No one is here, there are no witnesses. If I were to project my blades here, no one would notice….but…...Miyu didn't want this girl to die. No, my little sister abhorred the idea of anyone in her world dying. Maybe I wasn't a very good person after all if my thoughts had nothing to do with the life of the girl in front of me. To me, she was just some pitiful stranger.

I reinforce my eyes, scanning the rooftops of faraway buildings.

"Archer has a clear shot on me doesn't he?"

She's insulted. She starts fuming. Growing up with Miyu didn't prepare me for this, but she suddenly stops to explain something.

"Masters don't fight in the daytime. I don't have Berserker with me so…."

That admittance of hers is my signal. She was defenseless. That innocence of hers was dangerous.

"I'm not a Master," I correct her. My circuits flare and I steel myself for what I must do.

"Trace On."

The two married blades, mirrored images of each other are crossed ready to lop off her head. The more I get to know her, the harder this will become. She was at my mercy, with one swift action I can end her life right here and now, but…...

"Command your Servant to die," I order her, but her gaze is unwavering. She wasn't amused.

Without her Servant, without that giant, she has no choice but to drop out of this Holy Grail War, but she still stares at me with pity. If my sister does not want this girl to die, then this is the best course of action, but things did not go my way.

**A loud crash.**

The door behind us was kicked open. The screeching sound of the hinges assaults my ears for but a second, but that was the least of my worries. I didn't need to turn around. Saber and Miyu were standing behind me. It was inevitable from all that gossiping from the halls from earlier that they would show up.

Miyu's gaze is unwavering. I can't bear that resolute gaze and neither could my swords that simply evaporate. Illya is completely unfazed by what had transpired and turns her gaze to Miyu.

"I'm curious about that geas you cast on him. It's really effective."

Miyu doesn't say anything. No, she's denying the fact that Illya said anything at all. Saber has her eyes trained on her Master's enemy. Her hands seem empty, but nothing could be farther from the truth.

"What's your business here, Einzbern?" were the words of the lioness ready to pounce, but the snow fairy remains haughty and coy.

"She stole something from me that was rightfully mine, so it's only natural I try to steal something away from her, but you wouldn't know anything about that would you Servant?"

Judging by that expression that didn't suit her beautiful face, it seems like Saber was forced to remember several unsavory things all at once. I didn't need to understand Saber's circumstances to know that whatever that was said hit her really close to home. Saber didn't know how to respond to those words and in that silence, Illya simply walks past her and then takes a stop beside Miyu without turning to face her.

"Yesterday, you asked me what my relation was with you, but you already know don't you? Those cards…...one body, one soul, that rule doesn't apply to you either, yet you forced a human like Onii-chan to….."

"I did no such thing," were words conveyed in such a harsh tone that it took me a second to register that they came from Miyu's mouth.

Black and white. Unbearably serious and infuriatingly playful. It was a contrast so sharp that I could feel the air being cut. The white haired girl didn't understand the concept of mercy.

"If everything he does is by his own free will, then that's more of a reason for me to hate you. You made fun of me last time, so it's only fair I have my fun."

"Fun? You're still at this after I let you go?" was Miyu's question that the snow fairy simply ignores.

"Say, that prisoner's uniform really really suits you," were that girl's smug parting words.

Illya simply skips merrily down the stairs, satisfied with my sister's downcast face. My sister eyes the photo album on the ground, takes it in her hands and skims through it, but slams it shut before reaching the newest pages before handing it off to Saber.

Miyu simply stares at the ground. She was clearly upset by that little devil. I wanted to chase down that girl, but a small familiar hand grabs onto my shirt before I could go anywhere.

"It's fine. You already do too much for me," were my sister's words I couldn't accept because she wouldn't even look me in the eye.


	9. Sakura's Treasure

 

* * *

The recurring dream…...back when I was years younger, but still not pure….

The middle school bell tolls and that sound would always be followed by the sound of of writhing and my skin would begin to itch. It was time to visit that perfect family. I had sharpened my cooking skills since last time. The kind boy and that perfect little girl, I was ready to really surprise them this time, but something in me was calling me to go "home". Something was different today. I approached the door. There it was the sound. The sound would only get louder. The sound of swarming, of writhing, permeates the basement below. The worms in me responds to that sound, signaling their brood. They writhe, they itch, telling me that "Grandfather" was waiting. What happened to those who disobeyed "Grandfather" didn't have to be said.

The worms swarm around the center and one might think something was being devoured, but in truth, something was being formed. In the center, from all that wriggling, all that writhing, it forming that familiar rotten shape.

"Grandfather," I call out, but he's lost in his thoughts, laughing before settling down.

"So The Magus Killer has passed."

Emiya senior was someone I have never met. Shinji and I were originally ordered to confirm his death. A few days ago, the two siblings invited me to visit their father's grave. I had left a few of Grandfather's worms behind that day to check the remains. Hopefully, the two of them didn't suspect anything, or else...

"There are still more chances, but still, …the bombing of the leylines…..an 8th card…... to think he was that meticulous …yet he could not foresee his own death…...that young heir to Emiya right now….…...must be lost right now….quite a pity really.."

The sound of crying, the stench of rotting flesh, yet it is nothing compared to that man's laughing.

"Grandfather?"

He wasn't paying any attention to me. I was after all nothing more than a cooking utensil for whatever he was trying to cook. He writhes, he screams before he is able to get his composure back. Grandfather hasn't been well for a while…...

"..This imaginary number region…..a place that boy can't reach alone….…is an 8th card…an 8th trial...for Emiya's little project, but I have my own in need of testing.…..Sakura..," his voice writhes and shifts before falling on me.

"Y-yes."

I take pause for a moment. Even though I wasn't taught much about mage-craft, there were still things I had come to know. "Imaginary Numbers", that was my affinity wasn't it? Then that means…

"It seems I need to do some replacing soon, but that's a trifling matter right now, sweet child. The sun hasn't set, but it's time for you to sleep…..," were words that contained no kindness.

I fall into a second dream.

* * *

It hurts. It hurts. A stabbing pain, but I'm used to this pain. What is this? A dark place indiscernible place. Sharp, ornate objects were covered in muck, but that did not detract from their beauty, their craftsmanship. Even in the dark, they were shining. It was a waste that they were merely used to pin a petite worm on display, a parody of a constellation. Still, why was I hurting?

"Holy ?" was some indiscernible grumbling, yet I understood that grumbling.

The sound of chains, clear like a bell. It was clear what was happening. That distant imposing figure, slowly approaching, a tarnished rabid mass of black with gold underneath was after something. He was seeking, he was searching, he "desired", he "wanted". In his sight was a small wispy little worm. It was the farthest thing from divine, yet those divine ethereal chains wrap around the broken ugly thing.

It looked so light, it could not be called something with substance, a shadow, yet underneath, there was flesh. He pulls out an uncountable number of tools to dissect the thing that was caught. Was this the thing he sought? Flesh rends, flesh is flayed, but flesh returns. It hurts. It hurts. The shadow won't break because it was already broken from the very beginning. It hurts.

"Holy Gr..ail?"

It seemed something was off. In the end the tarnished king, despite all his divine power was only an "owner" not an "eater". The ensnared broken shadow was something small and rotten, but in this world, it's the smallest of life that eats everything in the end. It was an "eater", so it will "eat". Ethereal beings were its natural food after all.

"..."

That tarnished golden figure didn't notice a thing. The morsel of ether could not perceive the threat. From the the start, the golden figure was already pre-digested by something else. Black tendrils wrap around the chains and wrap around the blackened ethereal morsel. The shadow was only eating something akin to vomit after all, so this ending should have been expected. The owner struggles against the mud, the shadowy tendrils, but in the end, the hollow shadow was the natural enemy of ethereal beings. If food cannot be cut apart, then swallow it whole. Eat, eat, eat. Stuff it all in the "stomach", but the "meal" wasn't happy in the "stomach". Something just wouldn't digest. The "stomach" is ripped and torn with the most wondrous of cutlery. A shining light in the dark. It hurts, it hurts. A stomach ache. It felt something was being drained from me, but what? I'm not…...Something was wrong. Something was not right. That's right, the right way to "eat", such a thing exists. There is always a right way and a wrong way. Reach for it beyond all the bile and juices, rot the obstructing flesh away, grasp the rectangular thing at the core and take it in.

"Install."

* * *

"This poorly made vessel…..."

The alarm clock rings and my eyes widen awake. Clutched in my hand was an ornate card, inscribed with the word "Archer". The 8th trial in a mock Grail War prepared by the late Mr. Emiya, or at least that's what Grandfather thinks. It has been years since Grandfather passed this card to me for further "testing".  _It hates being inside me._ It was something that belonged to a "dream", but that just makes me wonder if the life I'm living right now was a lie. I needed to get up early as I always do to get breakfast ready. I hunger, but food won't appease me.  _So unlady-like._ My older brother wasn't awake yet, but that is to be expected. Part of the reason I get up early in the morning is so I can avoid him. To avoid Rider as well. To avoid a certain part of my reality I wish wasn't true, but enough of that.

A high school junior, that's what I'm supposed be right now. I need to focus.

I clean and tidy myself or as much as something like me can be cleaned. I put on my uniform and put on my shoes and exit the Matou building. I make my way to them. I make my way to the Emiya home.

As I'm greeted by an otherworldly girl I do not know, I'm forced to accept the reality of the coming days, of the Holy Grail War.

* * *

It was lunch time. In the classroom, there was whispering, insinuations about Shirou's preferences were surfacing once again. Miyu stands up from her desk and leaves with Saber. No one says a word. No one says a word again, until she was gone. The whispers assault my ears. I endure it. I pack up my bento and pick up the bento Miyu had left behind.

I wait a while before following behind with the bento boxes in tow. I walk out of the classroom and tail the small girl and her Servant. Sometimes I wonder if she knows. Sometimes I wonder if he knows. I must have been suspicious, yet they kept me by their side. Did they have ulterior motives? I purge the thought. Shirou and Miyu were pure. They simply gave me the benefit of the doubt. They trust me. They even gave me a key to their home. I didn't want that perfect family to be a lie.  _Even if that is the truth._ My legs move on their own.

Along the halls, there was only that annoying chatter. Annoying, incessant chatter.  _If only it would stop._ He wasn't like that. She wasn't like that. Shirou is just kind to everyone including kids.  _Shut up. Shut up._ An ally of justice can't overlook lost children. Miyu is his only family left so its only natural for him to be protective.  _Shut up. Shut up._ It's not wrong to be considerate to little kids,  _mongrels._ I never liked those rumors, but the  _barking_  never stops.

He was a pure boy. His sister was a pure girl.  _The rarest of treasures._ The perfect siblings. The perfect family.  _Different from mine._ To challenge that purity must be a crime. I don't stop to listen. I don't stop to listen.  _Mongrels ignorant of worth all around me._ It was all nonsense anyways, but there were a few words I could pick up from all the  _barking_.

" _White hair and red eyes?"_

Could it have been her? The one who my pitiful brother was at the mercy of. The one my pitiful brother had no power over. " _The Servant you summoned was weak! So weak, that kid said it would even be a bother killing her!"_  were his words as he hit me yesterday. He hit me. He had hit me over and over. Still, it didn't hurt. The pain didn't compare to the pain in my dreams, it was mere confirmation that reality wasn't a dream.  _That perfect family was real_. He hit me, but I paid no heed to him, just as Grandfather paid no heed to him. Attention was all he really wanted. He hit me and hit me, but it didn't matter because what was already broken can't be broken any further. Hitting me was pointless, but living things can't help what they long for. Maybe a small part of me had still wanted to be an ideal little sister, maybe I still do?

" _You're not doing it right. If you want to draw blood, you have to put your back into it..…,"_  were my words of advice to him yesterday. He ran from me when I said that. That brother of mine really likes running doesn't he?

Did I see him running in the halls just now? It was against the rules, but it didn't matter, there was something far more important on the line. If he was running for his life, then what I heard earlier was no delusion. That kind boy was in danger. That perfect little girl was in danger. Considering who Shirou was with right now, my legs were already breaking those same rules.  _Faster._

Miyu breaks into a run. I follow her and quicken my pace. Even with those shorter legs, she manages to be faster and disappears from my vision. My bruised body couldn't keep up. It didn't matter, I knew her destination. I continue to trail that perfect little girl even if I could not see her.

A perfect little sister that wanted to be a doctor. A girl that only wanted to help others just like her older brother.  _Her vacant expression from back then, how dare they compare it to mine._  I always wondered what her father, Mr. Emiya the "Magus Killer" was like. I never met the man, but that girl must have loved her father. That girl must have been sad when he was dying. She must have been devastated when he had died. That was why she could never smile back then.  _She can't be the same as me._ I never met him, but he must have been a great person to be revered by children like those two. I continue running.

"Magus Killer" was what Grandfather called him and an "Ally of Justice" was how Shirou described him to me. Surely two names that go hand in hand. Magi were all monsters and those who fought monsters are called heroes. It made perfect sense.  _Liar._ Only a "hero" could have such perfect children so kind and so pure. Children with unwavering determination and dedication.  _How envious._ It was only natural for monsters to be attracted to them.  _Like me._ Monsters are fundamentally empty creatures that seek, that steal, to make themselves whole. I continue running without stopping.

I run and run, but my bruised body isn't quick enough. I avoid gazing at the people around me.  _Normies._ Still, I can't do something that will make those two upset.  _Mongrels._ I ignore them. I make my way to the staircase. Miyu must have already reached the roof already. My feet stop before I ascend.  _Too quiet. Am I too late?_ My thoughts race to the worst possible conclusion. I was expecting a loud crash, nasty squelching sounds, but my thoughts are broken by a creaking hinge.

White hair and red eyes. They stare at me intently for but a second, but the petite little figure descends down the staircase without skipping a beat with a merry tune. My cheeks were wet.  _Was it over?_ That monstrous little snow devil doesn't pay any attention to me. I grip the card in my pocket tightly. My instincts told me that girl was dangerous, but I was more so.  _Tasty too._  The red eyes of hers were fiercer than what Miyu's had been. I could feel that smug sort of self-assured confidence. She was clearly "that" type of person.

"What were you thinking you idiot!" was a familiar smug voice behind me that must have belonged to…..

"That's not cute Rin, you lied about the "running" rule," the little white haired girl says.

"Skipping in circles is just as bad!" Tohsaka replies.

It's her, Tohsaka, the "school idol" _. Tasteless_   _mongrels._ Tohsaka glances at me for a moment, but returns her gaze to the little fairy. The two figures retreat in the distance paying no heed to me. Tohsaka, the school idol lives in a different world from mine.  _The past is the past._   _The present is the present._ I grip the card in my pocket tightly and contemplate "punishing" those two, but there was something far more important I needed to confirm. Shirou was the strongest person I knew after all. I couldn't imagine him dying to a little mannequin. My heart had not given up hope it seemed.

My legs are already moving before I could think. I ascend the steps in an instant with the bento boxes still in hand. I needed to confirm it. I kick open the door and see my two  _treasures_  unharmed.  _Thank goodness._ Shirou and Miyu were unharmed. I was smiling for a moment, but my eyes were drawn to Miyu's adorable downtrodden face. Miyu was unhappy, just like those days in the past. That diminutive mannequin must have done something unforgivable.  _Taken something irreplaceable._

"Sakura?" were Shirou's words to me. Was there something on my face?

"What is it, Senpai?" I say with a soft smile. I take the two in my vision.

In front of these precious siblings, I had to keep on smiling. I had to remain gentle, because I didn't want to tarnish the irreplaceable treasures in front of me any further. I continue smiling and approach the smaller girl, hugging her. Warm. Pure. Precious. I was trying to soothe her, but in the end, it seems like I was the one being soothed.

"Sakura?" she says my name. That soothing voice.

"Yes?" I say to her.

"Can you get away from her," was the voice of a fourth wheel who was staring right at me. A pure righteous knight lady, yes, of course the Servant would match the summoner. She's wary of me.  _Jealousy?_

"Can't breathe," Miyu says to me.

I release her with the word, "sorry" and a gentle smile.

"She didn't do anything to you did she?" I ask.

"It's nothing," which were unconvincing words as her smile was clearly strained. I present her with the food she had forgotten, as well as an extra portion for Saber.

"You forgot your lunch," I say to her and she faithfully responds like the good girl that she is.

"T-thank y-you," was her proper response. Was she blushing?

I turn to her older brother who was doing his best to smile. It's a strained one,  _but when hasn't that been the case?_  That mannequin must have done something, but now isn't the time.

Lunch period wasn't over, so we share a moment not far removed from the one in the morning. This precious family, t _his most valuable of treasures_. Such a family was too good to be true, but that was why I had to protect it.  _The truth is never good enough._ I find myself staring at the blonde glutton. The thing that didn't belong. The precious normal days have already ended. Those days were a lie from the start.

The knight continues to eat with unimaginable haste and the little girl who was supposed to be the "Master" stares at her own meal, wondering how much she would get to eat. Wondering if she should tell her "Servant" to stop. Maybe I should have prepared even more food. The kind boy beside me continued to look uneasy as he ate, just as it was the case with breakfast.

The coming days will not be kind, that was the truth. It had already begun. I cannot deny the "truth" any longer.  _The Holy Grail Farce. Question is, where did that little mannequin live? Where can I find her?_ Good children must be protected, but by that same token, bad children must be punished.

"Sakura?" Shirou says to me. Was there something on my face? He was about to say something, but he was having trouble finding the words.  _How cute._  He finally finds the resolve to speak.

"P-please don't get involved," was his plea towards me. It was almost a whisper, maybe even a prayer. Maybe he didn't actually want me to hear, but I heard it.

"It's fine, you'll be there to scold me right?" were my playful little words.

He tenses up at my answer, but he accepts it even if he doesn't smile.

"Yes,...stricter than anyone else," were his almost inaudible words. Pained, but sincere.

 _Thank goodness._  Sincerity from him was a rare treat for me.  _A rare truth as comforting as a lie._  The smile on my face right now was just as sincere.

"Of course you would, Mr. Ally of Justice."

He makes that complicated expression of his again that borders on embarrassment and frustration.

"For the last time, don't call me that," were those familiar words.

"Yes, yes."

Just because the "lie" was ending, didn't mean I have to stop smiling. Beyond the truth and the lies, I had long ago decided what was precious to me.


	10. Rin's Roundabout Quest

 

* * *

School had ended, the sun had set and I was seeing that fake priest of all people. The little white haired brat was behind me with a sour face. Our Servants were waiting outside and hopefully nothing will happen. The annoying brat isn't someone that breaks promises so easily and that's really the only good point about her. Despite all her posturing, she didn't seem to know much about the Emiya family or the world in general for that matter. I would have found her pitiful, if not for the content of her character. Still, I could tell that brat wasn't lying or misleading me. That's a lot more that can be said about the fake priest in front of me.

"You didn't answer my repeated calls and yet now you bring a guest. Hmm..did you surrender already Rin, without fighting no less?," he says in that annoying way that no one else can replicate.

If anything can be said about the priest, is that he helped me temper my patience. There was no one more annoying than him after all.

"Kirei, as a participant in the last Grail War, does the name Emiya ring a bell?"

I can sense his surprise, but more importantly, I can feel him smiling, while trying to keep himself composed. He found something really funny, and considering his sense of humor, something was up.

"Yes, Emiya was a competitor in the last Holy Grail War, but how does that pertain to you?" he says to me.

"An Emiya is the Master of Saber."

There is a short pause. He was clearly grinning right now.

"And?" he responds.

"Emiya, dubbed the "Magus Killer" was living in this very city and you didn't notify me, the Second Owner for how many years?"

He's supposed to be my legal guardian, but why do I expect anything of him? This man who deliberately gifts me clothes for my birthday that I would look bad in.

"Anyone with a connection to the moonlit world should know the name Magus Killer, are you saying you didn't find out until now?" is what he says through his teeth.

"Yeah, Rin is pretty hopeless," the brat behind me adds in.

I'll ignore those words for now. From my sources, I knew that the Magus Killer was the boogeyman of my parent's generation. A freelancer not bound to any organization. Even that fake priest while working as an executor answered to the church. The white haired brat described her father as a cheater, but that's what made him scary. Magical or mundane, he did not overlook any method on his hunt. He did not have pride as a magus, but in that sense, he was truer than the real thing. Even magi followed certain conventions, but he ignored them. He did not let anything sway him from his goals, whatever they were. No pride in his victories and no pity for the defeated. A machine chasing his own death. That was what I knew at face value from secondary sources, but Kirei was a primary source.

"I'll be brief. The Magus Killer died 5 years ago. The Holy Grail War 10 years ago was the last time he had been seen operating professionally, so I didn't think you really needed to know. It would only have been an unnecessary burden on you," he says in a tone that contains no concern.

"He was one of the three, including you who came out of the last Holy Grail War alive, so you must know something about him and his family after fighting against him."

"So, you've already phoned up the Clock Tower," were words with genuine surprise.

"Surprisingly talkative. Something about him being obligated to tell the story of his king."

The words of the fake priest could never be trusted, but as long as there were multiple accounts available to me, I can sift out the incongruities. What I know was that Lord El-Melloi II's predecessor was killed by the Magus Killer, but other than that, Lord El-Melloi II, stressing the second claimed that he did not interact much with the other contestants; it was a death battle after all. Still, it was pretty fishy that he participated in the very competition in which his predecessor died. Something must have been up, but the only other first hand account available to me was the one I was getting from the fake priest right at this moment.

"Then I don't have anything new to tell you." were of course what he would say.

"W-wait."

"Give it up Rin, I don't think this person knows anything and wouldn't tell us anything even if he did," Illya says with a sigh.

I wait, staring down the priest. The brat doesn't know, but Kirei was always like this. Have patience. Observe, analyze, then act. Forget the Magus Killer, focus on the present.

"Y-you….just tell me about the kids of his living in this city."

"The orphans from the fire? Well, what is there to say? That man found them in the fire and took them in," were the honest words of the fake priest.

If there was no blood relation, then the degree of which mage-craft can be passed was limited. Just as with Kirei, there was a limit my father could teach him. Reinforcement and the healing arts were things I knew for certain he was adept in. Still, there are many cases of magi acquiring children for experimentation. A magus adopting too many kids at once just draws the eyes of the heretic hunters.

"Can you say those kids are completely human?"

Noble Phantasms are not meant for human hands. There are only a handful of exceptions and I didn't want to face them in this war. Still, the Noble Phantasms that girl used clearly belonged to Saber and Lancer of this war. The bow Emiya used was the same as Archer's, though I couldn't call either bows a Noble Phantasm, though the strange arrow he had yesterday was undoubtedly one.

"What is this now?" the priest speaks with something akin to glee bubbling on the surface.

There is a long pause.

"To be a survivor is one thing, but for a new life to be conceived in a place where all manner of life was being consumed, could such a thing be called anything but a miracle?"

The contents of the Holy Grail were spilled 10 years ago. That was the truth of a fire. For a young boy to survive was one thing, but for a newborn child, such a child should have been the first to die in such a tragedy, yet to be as healthy as she is today, it couldn't have been natural. No, maybe she's completely unrelated to the fire and the fire was simply used as a cover story by the Magus Killer to facilitate the fabrication of a family registry. Still….

"Are you just having fun with semantics?"

I was about to ask what had happened to the orphans that survived which were supposed to be under the protection of the church, but I really didn't want to know. It was just one of the many things that made me wary of the fake priest. No matter what anyone says, that man is a "fake". What does it say about me that I'm turning to such a man for information?

"All I have is conjecture and I doubt it would be of much use to you," was that fake priest continuing to be cheeky.

"The younger Emiya, his activities these past 10 years, you helped cover them up didn't you? You must know something about what he was up to."

"If I must confess, back then, you weren't truly ready to act as the Second Owner. If you must know, the heir of Emiya was simply undergoing something akin to mock training. Rest assured, he wasn't harming any of the locals, in fact, his actions simplified some work for me," he continues to say without elaborating.

"He knew that the war would start 50 years early?"

"The previous war ended without a result by the Magus Killer's own hand, so the accumulated magical energy was simply carried over. The Einzbern master beside you can explain in it better than I can," were his words as his eyes turned to face the brat beside me. The brat simply sticks her tongue out in response. The only thing this conversation had confirmed was that wasn't just me; the fake priest was hated by everyone of all walks of life.

"If he's been your mentor in the absence of your father for these past 10 years, then that explains…... a lot of things actually. You really had it rough," is what the brat says in a tone closer to condescending than pity.

"Now that I think about it, the Magus Killer's bombing of the leylines may have been a deliberate diversion, to hide the existence of his heir's training exercises," was the answer the priest didn't seem so sure about himself. The brat's eyes lighten up for a moment.

Then those Noble Phantasms of theirs corresponding to the very heroic spirits of this war were…...

"What were these training exercises you're talking about?" was a question I didn't need to ask.

"You should know that I'm the Overseer of this Holy Grail War, so telling you what preparations the other contestants have made would be against policy. Besides, surprises are one of life's spices," was his dubious claim of neutrality with that seedy smile of his again and the brat's expression sours.

Life is not like a bowl of Mapo Tofu, yet this fake priest keeps trying to make the connection.

"This was all a waste of time!" the brat says with a pout. She simply turns and storms out of the church, but unfortunately, she wasn't wrong.

I follow behind and our Servants follow in tow in spiritual form. Kirei doesn't even make an attempt for to stop us.

"Faith is certainly dwindling in this age…" were his parting words.

Maybe my faith wouldn't be dwindling if you did your actual job correctly.

The door closes behind me. The church disappears into the distance as we walk away.

* * *

We walk along the empty streets. Hopefully, we won't have to deal with ordinary folk under the light of the moon.

The physical evidence of the last Holy Grail War had been largely wiped away by many things from the fire, the kidnappings to the various associations of the moonlit world. Mulling over dubious first hand accounts won't get me any useful information. The world of magi was always one of deception and mystery, so it was expected that the truth be elusive and those who guarded it to be troublesome.

So what did I know so far?

"Shirou based on age, the story of him being a survivor checks out. Those irregular patches of tan and white hair he's hiding are similar to my Archer. He must have been some sort of trial run in an attempt to infuse a human with a heroic spirit's traits, coincidentally, the traits of my Archer."

"You only realize this now?" that brat continues to say.

"That's why I wondered if they were part homunculi! I mean, based on Miyu's age, the story of her being a survivor found in the fire is dubious. More than likely, she's some sort of artificial product the Magus Killer created using stolen Einzbern secrets. Does that sound reasonable?"

It was then I hear that laughing that was bubbling on the surface. Laughing that she was desperately trying to hold back. She was even wiping away tears. That's how ridiculous she found my conjecture.

"What's so funny?"

The laughing stops for a moment.

"That priest was misleading you. Kiritsugu barely counts as a magus, so he wouldn't be able to do any of those things," the brat continues to chime.

"You really look down on your father don't you? How about you Archer?"

"From personal experience, mercenaries don't make good researchers," my own Servant chimes in.

"Were you a mercenary in life Archer?"

"Being a mercenary would suggest I made money off of what I did," Archer quips.

"If you know that about yourself, you remembered who you are right?"

"Not at all, though don't blame yourself too harshly," my so-called Servant says to me.

"Am I the only one taking this seriously?"

"Considering how much you don't know, it's hard to say you are," the brat continues to run her mouth.

"I-it couldn't be helped."

The Holy Grail War in Fuyuki is held every 60 years, but the 4th one where my father died was only 10 years ago. It was perfectly reasonable that I wasn't fully prepared. It shouldn't have occured this early, but it seemed like everyone else but me was in the know laughing at me.

We make our way to an intersection. My breath stops for a second.

"Did you sense that?"

"Of course," the brat says without much emotion.

A distant scream, a pulse of magical energy and a fading presence. A Servant out there was actually feeding on human souls. Magi may follow different rules than ordinary folk, but to deliberately involve ordinary folk in this very city was something I the Second Owner could not abide.

My legs take me to the origin of the scream with Archer close behind me. Running around at night, it's somewhat nostalgic. Hopefully, I had gotten more capable in these past 10 years since that time I was searching for Kotone. I enter the park, this park, this was where uncle Kariya...….

"Shinji," was the name that escapes my lips.

The third rate turns his back.

"T-tohsaka?" was that annoying voice.

An unconscious woman was having her existence sucked out of her by that woman in black who could only be identified as a Servant. The victim had become something of a doll. She would die if nothing was done in the next few minutes.

"Archer!"

Archer responds to my desire and a barrage of arrows is fired at the enemy. The enemy Servant in the black gown drops the victim on the floor and parries a few. She prepares herself for the inevitable battle, but it was then, the white haired brat finally caught up to me.

"I let you go yesterday considering the Holy Grail War didn't officially start yet, but Rider won't be able to beat my Berserker no matter how much she eats," was the voice that caused Shinji to freeze.

I knew that the brat had mystic eyes of binding, but I sensed no expenditure of magical energy from her. Shinji was simply scared stiff, nothing more.

"Y-you….." were Shinji's words before trying to break into a run. Stress on "trying".

"Berserker," the cold little girl casually calls out.

"Rid…." was all Shinji could say before his legs were swept underneath him by Berserker's chunk of rock mimicking a sword.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.." was the second scream I heard tonight.

Berserker was ridiculously fast. Faster than Rider. Faster than Archer. So fast that he could probably negate my Archer's range advantage with a single step in most scenarios. I didn't think that far ahead, but how as I beating that brat later? Still, this isn't the time. I turn my focus on the discarded woman on the floor and do my best to treat her.

"I-I don't want to die...I-I don't want to die…," were the meaningless ramblings of the legless Shinji as he tried to drag himself away. So ready to take life, but unable to risk his own; such a person could not be called a magus.

Illyasviel von Einzbern stands over the result of Berserker's handiwork.

"Crawling like a worm," the girl says with an innocent smile.

The book that was in Shinji's hands burns away along with Rider's body, but the sound of burning could not be heard with his incessant screaming. I barely noticed it, but a new presence had joined us.

"You really are a disappointment, Shinji," were the words of an old man, sprouting from the darkness of night itself.

"So the oldest of worms shows himself," were the words of that little girl sizing the newcomer up.

The youngest one stares down the oldest one, with Shinji writhing in pain in the background. He was Sakura's brother and I had contemplated helping him out, but my attention is drawn to that old decrepit man.

"You must be the one my granddaughter was angry about today. To mess with another of her possessions once again, I don't know how she'll take it," the old man says with a heavy sigh.

"The war officially started yesterday. It would be no fun if it ended too quickly, so you Makiri better be glad I'm not killing him. Besides, he isn't even a real Master. Rider just ran away didn't she? That granddaughter of yours must be real coward to use a proxy," were words said by the little girl with no playfulness whatsoever.

"I see, so even a short-lived artificial puppet wants to live as long as possible, but I'm afraid what you have done today goes against that interest," should have been the ramblings of a senile old man, but I couldn't see it that way. Even without a Servant at his side, I knew his confidence was not unfounded. That was the way all old magi were with all sorts of indiscernible tricks.

I couldn't follow their conversation, which was more evidence that once again, everyone around me knew things that I don't and are flaunting it in front of me.

"Was that a threat? To stand before me right now with your rotting body, you must gone senile or maybe you're just tired of living?" the brat says with a smile that belonged to someone much older.

"No, daughter of winter, I'm just warning you about my granddaughter. In all honesty, I'm a failure of a grandfather. I wasn't able to raise that girl right. In those rare moments she desires something, I can't stop her. Forgive this old man, but she forced me to disclose the location of that old Einzbern castle of yours before chasing me out of the house," were his final words before turning to Shinji, whose leg stumps were being treated with phallic worms.

Something in the brat snaps, but still, that isn't the issue here. My hand had already formed the shape of a gun and that old worm was in my sights.

"Sakura's involved in this?"

"OH, Tokiomi's heir! Why yes, Sakura is involved in this. If you are involved, it's only natural that she would be, or do I expect too much of today's youth? Still, are you really going to kill this old man or should you focus on saving that woman before you, Second Owner?" was that old worm's way of talking that forced me to remember that fake priest from an hour prior.

I check my surroundings once again and realize that the Einzbern brat had already run off on her own if that giant crater on the floor is any indication. A giant of that size shouldn't be that fast! Still, I can't leave Sakura to that brat's Berserker.

"Archer, you go after the brat and make sure she doesn't do anything too outrageous. She seems to like you, so you might be able to persuade her to stop."

"You're making a lot of assumptions, but let's hope you're right," he comments with that characteristic grin before giving chase with his red coat fluttering behind him.

The life of the woman in front of me was draining away. With reinforcement, she wasn't that heavy. Still, in my mind, the only person I knew that could deal with spiritual injuries was that fake priest. I was seriously going to return to that church again wasn't I?


	11. Miyu's Concern

 

* * *

" _You see, wishes are a limited time thing. The older you get, the harder it is to believe that they'll come true."_

* * *

We were waiting, waiting for Sakura to show up for dinner, but as my brother sets the table, it was clear she wasn't. She had left for home by herself and asked us not to follow her. It wasn't anything unusual. It was something that occurred at least once a week. Even I had left school early yesterday by myself to attend to an emergency, but right now this thing called the "Holy Grail War" was underway.

The stock simmers. The mushrooms and vegetables have been cooked. The heat is turned off and the soup is left to cool down a bit before the miso suspension is added. Such was done to keep the beneficial bacteria culture alive. Simple dinner was near completion.

"So Sakura isn't coming for dinner?" was Fuji-nee's sighing voice across the counter. Taiga had always been someone lively regardless of her physical condition.

Today's dinner wasn't anything special. With the recent events, grocery shopping was neglected, but that could not continue especially with Saber around.

Taiga stares at Saber. Saber stares at Taiga. Taiga did not trust this girl who wasn't Sakura, but through the exchange of bamboo blades, Taiga could not consider Saber a bad person, but still, the fact Saber wasn't Sakura displeased her somehow.

Was it the lion onesie? I never understood the prejudice for dressing a certain way. In all intents and purposes, a onesie was the peak of practicality. Consisting of a single piece that couldn't be lost that covered the entire body, requiring no extraneous fasteners like a belt.

* * *

Dinner was uneventful, except for Taiga's exclamation at Saber's appetite. Homework was finished quickly and Shirou was heading out once again on his usual patrols. I was fine with it in the past, but yesterday was the first time he had come back bleeding. He was stronger than anyone I knew and he would always manage to come back home, but that was just wishful thinking. I had to come to terms with reality. If the other 6 Servants were as strong as Saber, then he might not come back. No, if I don't follow him, he'll never come back.

"I'm coming with you."

He doesn't turn his back to answer me. He simply stands there at the entrance way without saying anything just as dad used to. The silence doesn't sit well with me _._  I stare at the ground, mustering what resolve was in me. That resolve that I didn't have when dad left on his trips….

"You shouldn't go on your own," were the words I didn't get to say to dad.

Shirou tries to find something to say, yet no words came out of his mouth. The only thing humans can do is make decisions. Decisions are rarely easy to make when there are so many unknown variables to account for, but to live is to move forward and Saber makes the first step. With speed that I have come to expect of her, she blocks the entrance before my brother could pass through it.

"As a good older brother you shouldn't make my Master worry. If you can't confidently best me in combat then you can't refuse," was the argument Saber makes.

Logically, the command seals on my hand are still the products of mage-craft and thus aren't a guarantee of anything. The only thing we knew was that everyone informally agreed not to do anything during the day, Servants and Masters alike. Saber had once served the Einzbern family if my brother was telling the truth about his interrogation yesterday. The only thing my brother trusts for certain about Saber was her strength. No matter how civil Saber was, in the end, her declaration to be my sword was nothing more than her means to obtain the "Holy Grail". Even knowing that, I admit, I like Saber. The two figures at the entrance way were similar in a way.

Saber refuses to leave me alone, I refuse to let my brother alone and he doesn't want to leave me alone with Saber.

"Alright then," he concedes.

From the start, there was no decision to be made. The other contestants were logically making their own preparations and will only benefit from our inaction. If we didn't want to lose anything we had to move forward.

* * *

It had been almost an hour of walking. A row of trees on the left and a row of aged street lamps reminiscent of lanterns on the right, glowing under the night sky. On top of the hill in the distance, was that church which my brother had always told me to avoid without a clear explanation. My brother walks in front of me and despite his wariness, there was no hesitation in his steps.

No matter how much I admire that back, I cannot deny that my brother was someone who always avoided telling me the truth if he could get away with it. He was always deceiving me, deceiving others, including himself, but deception itself isn't inherently bad just as truth isn't inherently good. Behind all his deceptions over the years, it was deception with the the intent of protection.

"Do you know who we are seeing, Saber?" is what I whisper to the older girl by my side.

"If the one who resides in that church is who I think it is, then if it was my decision, I would have wanted to avoid this place if possible," is Saber's honest answer.

I accept that answer.

" _A warm, small…share of happiness,"_ was my brother's sincere unforgotten wish for me. I don't remember when he wished for such a thing, but it was something I knew that had to be true. It was certainly something he wanted to protect, but recent events have forced his hand.

"Is that person dangerous?"

"A priest was a participant in the last Holy Grail War. I didn't know who his Servant was, but Kiritsugu saw him as his greatest enemy," was what Saber mutters under her breath.

My brother halts momentarily after hearing father's name, but it was only a moment. A war between 7 magi fought with heroic spirits for the Holy Grail, that was how Saber described it. Father was a magus, so it was no surprise that he had participated, but my thoughts are broken by the sight of a distant figure.

As we walk on that winding path, in the distance illuminated only by the street lamps, there was a large figure. My brother sweeps up the area in his sight and makes his next move.

"Trace on."

A bow appears in my brother's hands and it is drawn without hesitation. That arrow creates an indiscernible arc in the night sky before crashing down into the pavement right in front of the distant figure instead of skewering it. It was intentional. The distant figure did not take another step. In that small time frame Saber rushes towards that figure with her invisible sword in hand, but she stops her blade abruptly before that figure was bisected in two.

We waste no time to close the distance.

"Tohsaka," is the name that leaves my brothers mouth as we get a closer view. The girl in red was brandishing her command seals, ready to use them even as Saber held her sword at her neck, but that wasn't important right now. What was important was the injured woman she was carrying on her back. The patient's condition wasn't something described in any medical text, for what afflicted her was not a mere physical ailment, but a spiritual one. Her soul had been drained I don't have the exact knowledge to treat her, but that matters not. I draw the spirit who possesses what I lack and dawn her robes.

"Install:Caster."

* * *

My trance breaks and my thoughts return to my surroundings as the ancient robes are dismissed in motes of light.

"Condition stable. The rest is up to her."

Our supposed enemy with eyes wide open, releases a sigh of relief. The fact that Saber was holding her at sword point was something of lower priority to her. Her focus was simply on the patient before she turns her gaze to me. In contrast, my brother continues to scan the surrounding area with reinforced eyes.

"No sign of Archer. So this wasn't a trap," was all my brother could say to the high school girl he shot at. On those nightly patrols, did he always do things like this?

"Onii-chan?"

He doesn't meet my gaze. His gaze is trained on the enemy Master who was at our mercy.

"And here I thought Emiya's were supposed to be ruthless," is what leaves Tohsaka's lips.

"So what were you going to do with that injured woman anyways?" my brother tactlessly asks.

"I take that back," she starts to say, "it's unfortunate, but the fake priest was the only person I knew who's adept at spiritual healing," Tohsaka admits.

My brother ponders that answer for a moment and accepts it. He even nods in agreement. That simply raises more questions about this "priest". My brother, Tohsaka and even Saber don't seem to like him, but they all agree that he's someone that lives can be entrusted to? I don't understand. Surely, such a person could only be considered good? I don't understand at all, but with the church so close, I assume my questions will be answered soon once I meet him in person.

"So, where is Archer anyways? Isn't it careless of you to walk around at night without a Servant?" my brother's interrogation continues.

"Says the one without a Servant in the first place. Here I thought, you were going to  **kill me** ," the school idol says with a smile.

I deny those words. I deny that accusation.

" _My brother doesn't kill people,"_ were the words that came out by instinct.

Those words of mine simply pass over the girl before us. She doesn't believe them.

"The church, the safe haven for defeated Masters is just up that hill. We can have her relinquish her command seals and no blood will need to be shed," was what Saber suggests to me.

It was the most logical choice. No one should die. Everyone deserves to live, including me.

"That doesn't solve the problem of Archer," is what Shirou says to Saber.

"You're not suggesting…" is all Saber could say before Shirou cuts her off.

"Tohsaka, we'll let you go if you command Archer to  **die** ," were words that certainly belonged to my brother.

" _My brother doesn't kill people,"_ was the frustrated whisper I direct at myself.

Archer is a spirit. He has already died, yet for some reason, I don't want him to face such a fate. I didn't have a logical explanation, but from what he did yesterday, I couldn't see him as a bad person.

I turn to the girl at our mercy and at the life that was saved beside her. Rin is not a bad person. I can't think of her as such. Sakura's constant praise was one thing, but from her actions, I don't think that praise was undeserved. Despite all her blustering, Rin is a good person. That could not be denied. She didn't deserve being treated like this. I direct my soft words at Shirou, gathering what resolve a coward like me had.

"You admitted that she saved you yesterday…. Today, she tried saving someone else. By those precedents, I don't think she's someone that can kill people, I don't think she's a bad person."

Shirou tightens his grip and denies my conclusion.

"Being a good person and being dangerous aren't mutually exclusive. What is good to one is bad to another. Right now, in this Holy Grail War, all the other Master's consider us both bad and dangerous, isn't that right Rin?"

The flustered Tohsaka Rin tries to form her next words, but no words come out at first. She seemed to be in disbelief?

"As the Second Owner, there are just certain things I simply can't overlook. Things I can't give up on," is all she says.

"And Archer not being with you right now has to do with one of those things, doesn't it?" My brother's unrelenting interrogation continues.

"Maybe you two aren't ruthless, just tactless," Rin quips back.

My brother finally finds it in himself to relax and we walk up the hill after Rin hypnotizes the unconscious woman that was saved, all the while under my brother's watchful gaze. We leave the ordinary woman by the roadside. Hopefully, the worst was over for her. Rin doesn't look back as she had faith in my ability to treat others,  _even if it was something borrowed_.  _If only I had that much faith in myself._  We approach it and I can see it in the distance.

Despite being on top of a hill, the land is flat. It was quite the architectural feet. Though not large, it towers over us, but it was then I see something in the sky.

"A Servant," is the warning Saber gives us.

Before I could process everything, a man in priest robes crashes through the stained glass window with skeletal specters behind him. The figure in the sky was flying away with a familiar robe fluttering in the moonlit sky.

Caster.

Caster was fleeing, but my brother had already notched an arrow.

"Hrunting," was the word of release.

The red streak stirs the air, cutting through the night sky and Caster attempts to outmaneuver it, but that red streak does not fly in a straight line. It seeks its prey and Caster is shot down with her last ditch attempt to deflect it being in vain. Above the silence, only Shirou's panting could be heard.

"She's only injured," is what my brother mutters under his breath. He regrets not firing more and he's about to run after her, but his gaze returns to the autonomous bones the priest was fighting, or what was left of them. In that instant, it seems that Saber had already taken initiative, reducing them all to ash with the swift swings of her sword, turning her gaze in the direction Caster had fell.

"I'll go after her then," were her parting words before leaping away, leaving a crater in her wake before consulting me. Despite having the role of a "Master", I was still a child and everyone was treating me as such, moving at a pace I couldn't keep up with.

Fuji-nee had always told me that I was lucky to have such a capable older brother in Shirou, but if I must admit, it was a fact that always frustrated me. Every child wants to grow up into someone that's relied upon. It is for that reason I tried to learn as many things as I could. It was for that reason I could cook. It was for that reason I could treat injuries. It was for that reason I practiced what little mage-craft I knew. It was for that reason I tried to be as capable as I could. To become such a person, was a small wish of mine, but now I'm relying on Saber too.

" _Hrunting, the sword given to Beowulf by Unferth that could not pierce the skin of Grendel's mother…...…._ ," is what Rin mutters under her breath with her hand gripping her chin as if to figure something out. Her focus was still on the arrow my brother had released, Hrunting.

Despite being a named sword, ultimately, Beowulf slew Grendel's mother with a sword forged by giants that was conveniently hanging on a wall if legends are to believed. Still, I didn't like that story. Described as a monster impervious to ordinary blades, the mother of Grendel was ultimately just a mother. A mother who wanted to avenge her son. Logically, vengeance is a fruitless thing to bet one's life on. It cannot take back the past. She was someone that was considered "evil", but she wasn't someone that could be hated.

Still, some people find ways to be hated with the most minor of things, like the priest who was brushing himself off.

"Did you retire so soon Rin?" is the first thing the priest says with the intent of causing discomfort.

Rin tries to speak, but the words elude her for a while, before she finds her resolve and brandishes her command spells. Right now, with Saber's departure, there were no Servants present.

"Neither of us have our Servants here. The victor is going to be the first one who calls their Servant here," is her refusal to lose.

"Trace," was the start of my brother's signature aria, before the priest shoots him a glare.

"There will be no fighting here in front of the House of God. Do you wish to make the church your enemy, Emiya Shirou?" The priest was simply smiling at my brother who was trying his best to restrain himself.

It was then the priest turns his gaze to me as if he's found something pleasant.

"Hmmm, we haven't met before, Emiya Mainyu was it?" is how he mispronounces my name.

"Miyu," I correct him.

"I'm sorry. I had other thoughts on my mind. I might be a little light headed from that scuffle from earlier," he apologises to me without any sincerity.

Throughout this entire exchange, I notice my brother's glare. The priest was someone my brother knew, but the fact he knew about me, even an inkling was what I was afraid of because there were too many things I didn't even know about myself.

He walks inside and we follow him into the church. A simple construct with benches lined up with a mirror in the center.

* * *

"So what brings you here, Miyu?" he says to me with a little too much familiarity as his face gets closer.

"We're here to clarify the specifics of this Holy Grail War," is what Shirou says without me as he barges in between us.

"So how much do you know?" the priest continues to say.

"7 spirits of departed heroes designated as Servants compete for the Holy Grail along with their anchors designated as Masters to have their wishes granted," is what I say.

"So you are Saber's master, correct?" the priest asks me despite my brother's glare.

"Not intentionally," is what I admit.

"Whether it is your intention or not, the Grail sensed your desire and has deemed you worthy," were the words that contained no logic whatsoever.

I look on the seals inscribed on my hand which were shaped like a sword.

"This isn't something you can run away from. For you, everything started with the Holy Grail and it will end with the Holy Grail with the granting of a wish," were words that didn't explain anything.

"If I have a wish, then it has already been granted in this life of mine," was what I confess.

"If you want that life to continue as it had been, then you have no choice but to fight for the Holy Grail," was that word again.

"What is this Holy Grail?" is what I had to ask.

All I knew of it was that it could grant wishes and people sought it. As long as it granted wishes, "Holy Grail" was the name that people would be ascribe to it, whatever form it took. For whatever reason, it was a word I took personally. The things I ascribe to the word were ultimately too vague for my liking.

"In practical terms, the Fuyuki Holy Grail is a wish granting device devised by the collaboration of 3 magus families. One is responsible for providing the vessel that will become the Holy Grail, another for the Heroic Spirit summoning system and the last one provided the land. Einzbern, Makiri and Tohsaka," is his short explanation.

The Einzbern are responsible for the vessel. That white haired girl's face is what surfaces in my mind.

"Hmm, it would seem that my uncouth student has already left," are the priests words that break my thoughts.

Yes, it would seem like Rin had slipped away when we entered the church. Me and my brother were too preoccupied with the priest. My brother contemplates running after her, but he didn't want to leave me alone with the priest in front of us. Yes, it was unexplainable, but there was something about the man that drew our gazes. It must have been a useful skill for a priest.

"So, who is this vessel the Ainsw-bern have in mind?" is my brother's question as he butchers the German name once again.

"So, you two already know that much. I can't fathom what answers you'll get out of me," was the priest's way of trying to get us out of the door.

"Answer my question," is what my brother demands.

"Yes, indeed I have met the vessel today. The daughter of Emiya Kiritsugu," said with the widest grin.

"I get the feeling you're trying to mislead us," is what my brother confesses.

"Why does this concern you? You aren't a Master. This only concerns your sister," the priest says through his teeth.

"If it concerns my little sister, it concerns me," was Shirou's default answer.

"Little sister", that is the word that slipped out of the white haired girl's mouth. Her Einzbern family is the family that my Servant Saber had once served. I don't think me summoning the same Saber is a coincidence. Dad must have served the Einzbern in the past, that must have been the truth behind those trips to Germany. Those trips that started when he had hugged me….

"Illyasviel von Einzbern, is the vessel isn't she?" was my conclusion.

The priest sighs in resignation. He had failed to mislead us. Still, that changes nothing.

"So, what will you do?" is what he taunts me with.

So right from the start, dad must have wanted to hug someone else. Some of that warmth of his was meant for someone else. That was why he recoiled when I tried to call him "Papa" once.

The painful truth. My heart tightens. Every instance dad had come back, he came back dejected regardless of the souvenirs he had brought back because he was unable to bring "her" back. That daughter that modeled her hair bangs after his.

Still, where did I fit in this story?

My eyes drift to the mirror in the center. My thoughts drift back to that rooftop.

" _Yesterday, you asked me what my relation was with you, but you already know don't you? Those cards…...one body, one soul, that rule doesn't apply to you, yet you made Onii-chan….._ " were her words at lunch.

" _I did no such thing,"_ was what I had said back then.

I denied those words without processing them. I didn't let her finish. I must not realize that truth. If I acknowledge it, then my foundation will crumble. I see my own reflection now. Not the red eyes in my memories, but a golden amber.

She was a vessel that could grant wishes and so was I. That was the relation between us. That was why I could use the "cards" without repercussions. I stare at the reflected amber. Yes, the very fact that I wished to be Shirou's sister, meant that I wasn't Shirou's little sister in the first place.

" _If I have a wish, then it has already been granted in this life of mine,"_  was what I confessed earlier.

A life built upon by a series of wishes. So what was the truth?

" _I'm curious about that geas you cast on him. It's really effective."_

I stare at Shirou, my "brother", his eyes are still trained on the priest. He was still standing between us in order to protect me. His transgressions against Rin and Illyasviel, they were all ultimately for my sake, but was it of his own free will?

Kiritsugu died when I was small. When he died, I thought it wouldn't be wrong of me to study to be a doctor. That was all. It was nothing more than something to appease my guilt. I could have wished to save him back then, but I didn't. I didn't even realize he needed to be saved in the first place despite those eyes that were perpetually longing. I ignored his pain because I didn't want misery to be in the world I knew.

" _She stole something from me that was rightfully mine, so it's only natural I try to steal something away from her, but you wouldn't know anything about that would you Servant?"_

My earliest memory was a hug, a hug from my mother whose face I could not remember. That warmth, Shirou gave me it as well. Back then, he genuinely wished for me to live. In that collapsing building…..and that huge fire. He carried me to safety, he carried me to Kiritsugu and Kiritsugu gave me a home. Shirou was the one who taught me, the one who raised me, so it was only natural that I think of him as family, but we weren't family. In the end, I just wanted a family. I wanted my "family" to be "real". That was why I wished to be true siblings.

A fantasy I had dreamed up in my head.

His red hair and amber eyes, we did not resemble each other in the slightest back then. That's right. That boy who was kind to me, was he only such because I wished him to be? I cannot discern it. Sakura's own brother and the brother's of my classmates were nothing like Shirou. Real families are far from ideal. The fact that Shirou could act as that "ideal" brother, to go so far for me, to even bleed for me, how much of that was from my wishing? I wished for Shirou to spoil me, I wished for him to save me. Whenever I was in trouble, I wished for him to be there for me and my wish was always granted without fail just like yesterday.

" _If everything he does is by his own free will, then that's more of a reason for me to hate you. You made fun of me last time, so it's only fair I have my fun,"_ were my sister's words.

A happy ideal family, it was all fake from the start. My family is fake…..no our family is fake because…right from the start…..that girl who was angry with me, my sister deserved a share.

She never received her small share of happiness, because I took all of it.


	12. Illya's Lesson

 

* * *

The sky was dark. Wood, leaves and the wind brush pass me as I ride on my Servant's shoulders. We travel as fast as I could handle. I wonder for a moment about these things called "roller coasters" I've heard about. It was true that there are many things in life I have yet to experience and never will. It was true I had lived almost all my life in a castle and right now, I was returning to one. Even so, I'm sure, in these short months, I have seen, done and experienced things that others who will surely outlive me never will.

The Holy Grail War.

A battle between 7 figures of legend. Battles most mages will never see, much less partake in. It was a privilege I was born into. It was a privilege I was born for. It was a privilege. For, who in all the world, would get a chance to ride on the shoulders of Heracles?

Heracles, my Berserker, at the end of this ritual will fade, but it is not a parting because I won't be far behind. My partner was the strongest, so seeing this ritual to the end is a matter of course whatever happens to be in our way. Past the leaves, the branches, the trees and the forest, the broken wards, the Fuyuki branch of the Einzbern Castle was before me. The castle where Papa and Mama lived in just 10 years ago in the last Grail War. It had only been a few hours since I left, but something was definitely wrong.

I shouldn't have been worried. I shouldn't have been worried. Why did I take the threat of that old worm so seriously? In that castle were my caretakers who were younger than me. My caretakers who failed to become Lesser Grails, Sella and Leysritt.

There was no one at the front gate or the large front door.

Whether coined or birthed, the Holy Grail was the purpose that binds us all together. For all those others who were coined as defective cups, for all those others who could not live to this day, I have an obligation to fulfill as the "Holy Grail". Even neither Sella nor Leysritt could not become the Lesser Grail, they'll support me who did with all of their being in the most overbearing manner. That's why I snuck out of the castle today.

That was why the silence was unbearable. Leysritt did not come to greet me. Sella did not come to scold me.

Something had happened. There was definitely still a Servant inside. Regardless of the quality, even though an Einzbern failure is worth 100 magi, a homunculus of modern make is no match for even the weakest of heroic spirits. If I open that door, what will be greeting me? If I was as young as I looked, I would have hesitated, but I had an obligation to see everything to the end.

There was no point in wasting time and my partner agreed, pushing the door away in one swift motion.

A lone swordsman was standing on our staircase before the great slab of sharpened stone in my Berserker's hands is brought down.

The intruder deflects the killing blow.

"To face you again so soon, I guess there was a silver lining," the intruder says absentmindedly.

I know that figure. Fine clothes of eastern make. Long hair complimenting a long curved blade. It was unmistakably that irregular Assassin-class Servant we encountered at Ryuudou temple the other day despite the switch to darker colors. A sword wielding wraith summoned by Caster bound to the land of Ryuudou Temple. Caster being a spiritual being herself could not anchor another spiritual being, so she used the mountain on which the temple sits. His ties to the physical plane right now were much stronger than they were before.  _Was he partially incarnated?_  The fact that this swordsman was here in front of me in my very own home could only mean that he had gained another anchor at some point.

"Where?"

I scan my eyes over the area, but find no one. Was Caster behind this? My senses were telling me it wasn't. Another irregularity. There was no time to waste. This needed to be settled quickly. Sella and Leysritt were top priority.

"Berserker, we can fix the stairs later. Quick!"

Berserker cleaves away at the staircase with his sword hewn from temple stone. The staircase splinters and shatters, kicking up debris. Unlike the steps towards that temple, the stairs were not situated on slanted ground. The terrain disadvantage we faced simply disappeared. That wraith was skilled, there was no doubt about it, but in the end, technique is something used to compensate for weakness. Without the support of Caster or the terrain like before, he must bear the full brunt of Heracle's strength.

"Gah," was a pained cry, followed by the clenching of teeth. Even with all the dust around them, the opposing swordsman did not lose focus, still seeking victory. A heart of clear water? No, more like a head full of water.

Two figures stand on flat ground. It was no contest.

Blows are exchanged faster than I could discern, but that mattered not as his defeat was inevitable. In terms of mass, that long thin sword in that fake Servant's hands was much lighter than the chunk of stone my partner effortlessly swung around. With a decisive swing, the obstacle is knocked away into a wall. He wasn't dead. It was a testament to his defensive skill, but he lacked any ability to actually harm my partner, so in the end, he wasn't worth paying attention to.

"Hurry! To Sella and Lize quickly!"

The greatest hero responds to my demand and scoops me up with one arm. We traverse the halls and note the broken walls. There was a struggle. I swallow my breath. We pass through makeshift doors. What was once left of my bedroom, we are greeted with a perplexing scene.

"Sella?"

The two maids that served me were still alive, but they were bound in chains, tied to my bed. Leysritt had passed out and Sella was having her magical energy passionately sucked away through her lips by a third white haired figure. A white haired stranger sparsely adorned in black and gold with red marks strewn on one side of her body. Though she had the pigmentation of a Einzbern homunculus, I knew the stranger wasn't one, or rather, wasn't one completely. I stare at her, but she makes no notice of me, focused solely on quenching her thirst.

"Berserker!"

Berserker too was momentarily perplexed by the scene and his judgement was dulled for just a moment, but before he was about to act, a chain flies out of a golden portal. He leaps backward to avoid the chain while I was still clutched in one of his arms. That chain wasn't normal. We instinctively knew that it was bad news to be caught in it.

"A Noble Phantasm?"

Sella's passed out body is discarded on the bed, with saliva still dripping down her face.

"Interrupting my meal," were the words that left the stranger's mouth as it is wiped. She turns her attention to us while still straddling my maid.

"What's this?" was an infuriatingly sultry voice.

A set of infuriatingly smug red eyes and a disgusting smile. Yes, despite the change in color, the face was unmistakable, it was that girl I passed by down the staircase at school today. The ribbon in her hair was another giveaway. This couldn't be happening. These irregularities in front of me must have been a dream. Yes that's it, a dream, but no that's just wishful thinking.

"Makiri I presume."

Undoubtedly, this was that "granddaughter" the old worm was talking about. It didn't have to be mentioned, but this girl in front of me has gone through a lot of modifications. Still, it wasn't the time to be empathetic. To practice mage-craft of any kind involves a certain amount of pain. 70% of my body was magic circuits. For the participants of this Holy Grail War, extensive modification seemed to be the norm, not the exception.

I wasn't special.

Still, what sort of cobbled together monstrosity did the Makiri make? The gold adornments were undoubtedly something that should have belonged on a heroic spirit and that unmoving chain wrapped around the necks of my maids was still trained on us ready to react. Berserker is still, waiting for an opening, but it doesn't come, so it seems it's up to me.

My red eyes simply stare into hers.

"Tch."

It was regrettable, but my mystic eyes were too weak. Whatever heroic spirit she was drawing power from, it was clearly one of the knight classes which all boast some degree of magic resistance. Of course this won't be resolved so easily. I just need an opening.

"Quite gluttonous for an uninvited guest. You Makiri seem to have no self control."

My enemy ponders for a moment. The chains around my caretakers tighten. I bite my lip.

"Self control? I tried controlling myself, but this is all your fault. Why didn't you control yourself? Why did you tamper with what belonged to me? When I get angry I get hungry. I tried gorging myself at the temple before coming here, but I'm never full. Look at what you made me do," she says without regret as she caresses Sella's cheek.

"It's unfortunate that these two were just too compatible with this body. When such fine things are in front of me, it would be an insult not to taste them," was that infuriatingly haughty voice.

Once again, someone tries to take possession of what belongs to me.

"Well, I expect much from a family of thieves," I say to her.

What she said about compatibility confirms my suspicion. There was no grave for my mother, but now I know for certain what happened to her body. The bodies of homunculi were compatible with other homunculi. Just as the magic circuits of various homunculi were shaped and grafted onto my body, my mother's remains were grafted onto hers. Thus, her body also had properties of a vessel that could house heroic spirits and those Noble Phantasms she wielded was evidence that she was exploiting that fact like a certain little sister. Was she allied with my little sister? That old worm did mention that I "messed" with her possessions today and now she's messing with mine. Still, whatever her true motives are, these Makiri cannot be forgiven. If she is indeed allied with my little sister, that's another reason not to forgive her.

"How could I steal that which already belongs to me? No, the only thief here is you and I came here to educate you. Quite the privilege, is it not?" was her nonsensical logic.

With Sella and Lize at her mercy, I can't do much. All I can do is bide our time and play her little game.

"I've known everything I needed to know since the day I was born."

As a product of Einzbern alchemy, such a thing was a given. Speech, logic and mage-craft were ingrained since my conception.

"You seem to be painfully unaware of your position. Everything is fine if you are strong, thus everything belongs to you if you are the strongest, but you're just a weak mannequin even less than a mongrel," she runs her mouth before turning to my guardian to run off her mouth some more, "Say, Alcaeus, your sins of filicide should have absolved once you took on another name and completed your labors, but yet now here you are playing father, or is menial community service simply ingrained in you?" were her unforgivable words.

My guardian doesn't react to those words. Even though his senses have been dulled somewhat, he knows when to rein in his anger and when to release it. A hero like him knows that better than anyone. Even though his bouts of madness that cost him his family and his friends were induced by Hera's machinations, he endured, bearing his sins, always acknowledging his responsibilities and committing to his labors, never running away from them.  _Unlike Kiritsugu._ For as long as this ritual lasts, he will protect me by his own will just as that day we made our oath.

"He won't be beaten by the likes of you! Using hostages, you're the one admitting you're weak!"

The face of our enemy distorts. Something inside her had struck a chord. Pride is the privilege of the strong. Only the weak are cruel because they can't afford to be gentle in the first place. The weak cannot win without cheating. That was the one of the few truths papa had taught me. The chains around my maids disappear and in that instant, my hero makes his move.

The chunk of stone is brought down, but when I open my eyes, a wall of ornate shields had appeared to intercept it. Even so, the shields did not absorb the shock of the blow. The displaced air pounds her into the floor. She was now hugging the floor while bleeding. Serves her right. She was much sturdier than a regular human, I give her that, yet it was then she revealed her hand. Above her were a formation of ornate weapons, floating in the air. My hero steps back to size up the threat.

"All Noble Phantasms?"

Ignoring the bleeding, being accused of being weak, our enemy was now standing, flaunting her power as she calls upon the formation of Noble Phantasms behind her. So many of different make and shapes. From various cultures around the world, eastern or western, from age to age, the varied selection was intentional.

"I see. Yes, I wasn't doing it right. All of it. That's right. All of Humanity's power sits in this treasury," is what she absentmindedly claims. Whether she was saying that to us or just reassuring herself, I couldn't tell.

The weapons at her beck and call are released from their golden portals, crashing into my hero. Most are deflected, taking large swathes of wall as they continue flying, but one manages to pierce his heart. One life was taken.

I bite my lip.

As long as he was holding me in one hand this outcome was to be expected, yet if I let my guard down, my life will be taken if she has a last minute change of heart. That fake Assassin was still loitering around downstairs. If this battle continues, the ceiling will collapse and my maids will be buried. We needed to take this elsewhere. If she was truthful about her intention punish me, then she will have to chase me.

"To the garden!"

We retreat to the open garden in the center of our home that was much larger than what my little sister possessed. Berserker puts me down and confronts our rude uninvited guest.

"This should be a more suitable battleground don't you agree?"

With no enclosed walls in the way obstructing visibility, the Noble Phantasms of hers despite the quantity should be easier to deal with.

"To think I was lured by your words. That's another demerit for you," was that same haughty voice.

She jumps down and approaches us casually. This was just a game to her wasn't it? As she was walking to face us, the fake Assassin from earlier sprouts from the shadows in front of her taking no stance.

"Even if you are a fake, I have expectations from an aberration like you. Try not fail me this time," is what the Makiri girl says to the discolored swordsman. The girl clad in black, red and gold was an aberration that commands the aberration Caster had summoned making her an aberration of aberrations. For those reasons, we should be fleeing, but I already fled from my little sister. There is only so much damage my pride could take.

"For freeing me from the temple, I was grateful, but I may have made the wrong choice," he speaks as he brandishes his sword in front of Berserker, "but you my formidable enemy, you may be able to make me reconsider."

There are too many things in this scenario outside the norm, but nonetheless, Berserker returns the courtesy and brandishes the primitive weapon in his hands. It was a mutual understanding in those that take pride in their martial skill. When a challenge appears, it is a hero's duty to meet it.

Of the 10 original labors Heracles was tasked with, 2 were discounted, but he did turn back. He rose to the occasion. At the end of his trials, he had completed 12, each one manifesting as an extra life as his Noble Phantasm. One life has been taken and that Makiri girl had a means to take more. That girl was dangerous. That's why I couldn't afford to let her live, but I never needed such an excuse. She had already harmed my maids. That was good enough. Despite whatever Noble Phantasms she possessed, my Heracles had ripped mythical beasts apart with his bare hands in his legend so her human body was nothing. In order to kill that girl, the wraith in the way had to be taken care of quickly.

"Let's finish this quickly."

The sword of hewn stone is brought down with the force to obliterate a mountain. Even if the swordsman can deflect such an attack, mere contact with the slab of stone is fatal. For that reason the wraith dodges this time instead of trying to clash blades, but his sword cannot scratch my hero's skin. It was fortunate for us that the airhead didn't lend the swordsman a better weapon or he would actually have been a threat. Without the terrain advantage he enjoyed in the earlier two encounters, he is easily pushed back with a flurry of random swings. Heracles has always been known more for slaying mythical beasts than slaying mere men. No matter how skilled, the swordsman was only human in life. Everything happened in a span of a few seconds.

My hero delivers the deciding blow, but his blow is stopped at the last moment.

"What?"

The chain from earlier reins in my hero's blow. The chains wrap around his body without any mercy. With enough time, these chains could be ripped apart just like the ones that bound Prometheus, but the Makiri girl was impatient. Shadows drag at the heels of both my Servant and hers, sucking up all the magical energy in the area. How did she acquire the fake Assassin Servant? I knew the answer now. Having had time to observe what that shadow actually was, I knew what she tried to do.

"You're interfering with our," is all the swordsman says before he is cut off.

"I don't like seeing my toys break, so let's end this farce. Back to the toy-box you two go," were that girl's whimsical words.

I see. Those Noble Phantasms of hers were merely used to draw attention away from her trump card. I now know what she is capable of.

"These chains were forged to bind the divine. These shadows were made to bind and eat Servants. You see, there was no way a demi-god Servant was going to win from the start," is what she announces in front of me.

That was why it didn't matter if she had hostages or not. That's why she let me lure her out. She was certain of her victory from the start. I thought of her as an arrogant ditz with only superficial understanding of her own abilities, but her confidence wasn't completely unfounded. Was that scattered brained personality just an act? I misjudged her and now I'm paying the price. Right now, she was stealing my Servant, my guardian, my hero.

"Run," is what my hero tells me. Really?

Were you going to leave me just like papa? He tells me to run, but my legs don't move. How was I going to finish this ritual without my hero anyways? The answer was I won't. I invoke my command seal.

" **Return to my side."**

Still, nothing happens. I, the vessel of this ritual will be the first to die in this ritual. It didn't even matter, because I wasn't the only one. A pointless farce this all has been. A big joke. There were Holy Grail Wars in the past, but right now, this ritual was literally a "War" between "Holy Grails".

" **Return to my side."**

Unlike other Masters, my magic circuits were modified to be my command seals. In that way, I have a limitless amount. It was pointless, but I didn't give up. No, it was precisely because it was pointless, I kept invoking as if praying. I won't let my life end as a joke.

" **I am the bone of my sword,"**  were words I faintly heard carried by the wind.

I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them, in front of me, the scenery is enveloped in an explosion that blinds my eyes. I'm thrown back by the blast and feel the earth on my back, but I ignore it and pray once more.

" **Return to my side."**

Third time's the charm. Beside me appeared a lump of charred unrecognizable flesh. Berserker had lost another of his lives, but that no longer mattered. I could have lost him to that girl, but I won't lose him to death. My hero will keep getting up even if you kill him. As he regains consciousness, I dismiss him into spiritual form and run because that Makiri girl was certainly still alive under that array of fancy shields. Golden projectiles fly in my direction, but they are intercepted by red ones.

Archer was here bathing under the moonlight.

I don't want to admit it, but maybe that alliance with Tohsaka wasn't a mistake.


	13. Archer's Counterattack

 

* * *

Things really weren't going my way, but maybe I should have expected as such. Nothing ever goes my way. The wraith under our enemy's control was receded into the shadows immediately, but for Heracles who was struggling against the chains, I had ample time to act from the tower I was perched upon.

" **I am the bone of my sword, Caladbolg!"**

The notched sword arrow rips space apart and strikes true. A familiar explosion. A grand explosion I have seen too many times to count. Too many times to even care. A spectacle that has become mundane routine, but there was a silver lining in this instance that made it different from the others.

I saved him.

The chained body of a demi-god was blown apart and thus freed from the chains that bound him. He was spared from the shadows that sought to consume him. If it was anyone else, what I did would have amounted to nothing more than murder, but for Heracles, my actions had saved him. Illya was able to quickly call upon him again with a command spell and he was at her side once more in an instant. In a few short moments, he's carrying her on his shoulders once more; the injuries I inflicted had become a lie as his large figure recedes into the forest with utmost haste.

He won't leave her alone if given the choice. A big hero shouldn't let kids cry, that's the way a hero should be. Death won't stop him. If I could see my reflection right now, I would see a smiling man.

"God Hand" was the manifestation of his 12 labors; 12 extra lives. While death was a minor consequence to him, the enemy we were facing with her chains and those shadows was a different matter. I stare down at the enemy from my vantage point.

A familiar girl in my youth. It was undeniably her despite the difference in colors.

Hunkered down under an array of ornate shields embodying the ultimate defense. Such a grandiose display was something that only someone like the King of Heroes could pull off and my senses were telling me, in some way it was. Again, I'm reminded of the irregularity named "Miyu". Once again, I am reminded that this iteration of the 5th Holy Grail War was not the one that gave rise to me. The "Sakura" in my sights was not the Sakura I knew, yet the "Illyasviel" I was protecting was not the Illya I knew either, but my heart was always made of glass.

"To interfere with my disciplining, it seems you also require some education," was an unsettling familiar yet unfamiliar voice directed at me. If it wasn't for the stillness of the air, I may not have heard it.

I notch another arrow. Another twisted sword; a second Caladbolg II.

With those shadows at her disposal, she was the worst type of enemy for us spiritual beings to face up close. I draw the string just as two figures are dragged out in chains from the upper floors to the center of what was left of the garden. Hostages.

"That red coat, I see, you're the Tohsaka Servant aren't you? You must have a lot of gall to be standing above me. Explain yourself," was that commanding voice that could cross distances with ease.

"No answer?" was the clearly audible question.

She raises her hand above her.

I don't answer her.

A moment's hesitation. She had called forth an assortment of spears, launching them in my direction, reducing the tower I was standing on to dust, but not before I released Caladbolg II in her direction as I fell.

My shot doesn't miss. It was aimed at her heart, but it failed to pierce her waiting defenses. It wasn't a broken phantasm after all. She examines the intact Caladbolg II on the ground and recognizes it for what it truly was.

"A fake, huh?" was her voice with a mix of surprise and disgust.

It was in that instant, with a shimmer of gold, she brings forth the real thing. A large archaic drill more akin to a lance than a sword. She stops for a second.

"If only I could show you the true rainbow…..," were words tinged with disappointment.

Sakura wasn't Gilgamesh and Gilgamesh wasn't Fergus. I knew the King of Heroes had something greater that could break the sky along with the earth, so I was only relieved that she doesn't bring that out instead. She discards the drill sword in my direction.

I bring it forth, my best protection against projectiles.

" **Rho Aias!"**

Even if Caladbolg was slightly stronger than Durindana, my enemy wasn't Fergus. That was why I was still standing right now. The Seven Rings that Cover the Fiery Heavens remains unscratched.

Her projectile fails to pierce my defense and I use this chance to launch a salvo of my own.

"Sword barrel, full open."

The sound of metal shattering against metal resounds in my ears. My attack had failed as in front of me was a large obscuring shield from the Age of Gods. As the shield is returned to the gate, a formation of Noble Phantasms enters my view. I quickly project a mirrored image of that same formation in response.

I grit my teeth.

My fakes clash against her originals. Shrapnel and explosions tear through the ground between us. It was unfortunate, but my projections could barely keep up with the speed at which she could dispense Noble Phantasms from that "Gate of Babylon". Even if she wasn't Gilgamesh, her Noble Phantasms were undoubtedly the real thing. If I brought forth my reality marble, "Unlimited Blade Works", I could overwhelm her and close the distance, but as I look at the ground beneath her, that encroaching shadow, I dismiss the thought. A pit with no bottom. I would be torn apart by those tendrils in an instant.

"So, it has come to this."

From that shadow, Caster's former Servant appears. Even if I could get past Babylon's gate with unlimited blades, I would be done in by that shadow and that samurai. They would not lose in a close range battle with me or any single Servant in this war for that matter.

"It's time to end this farce, faker," she says with no amusement as she casually approaches me with that shadow still behind her. A looming shadow that was visible even at the dead of night.

"We're actually agreeing on something huh?"

I was outnumbered and there was no meaning in exchanging fire. In a battle of long range attrition, whoever had the most ammo would win and it was clear that Sakura had a larger stockpile of mana than me. It seemed like Sakura pilfered more than just a Servant from Ryuudou Temple, but that begs the question of what happened to Caster?

Change of plan.

I spread my hands outward. My swords materialize in the air to intercept her salvo before the broken fragments burrow under the earth, forming a fence along the ground.

"Burst."

I detonate them kicking up dust to make my escape into the nearby forest, retracing the steps the giant I was allied with made, all the while covering our tracks by cutting down the trees in my path, while chucking a few broken phantasms in random directions to obfuscate my route. Chasing us was a monster that couldn't be beaten without some form of plan. I run without turning back.

* * *

" _Archer, is Sakura alright?"_  is the voice of my Master ringing in my head as dash from tree to tree.

" _That depends on how you define it. You should see for yourself."_

" _That brat, she didn't…I told you not to let her...,"_ were the signs of my Master's cracking mask. Her words stop as she witnesses the figure in the distance through my eyes. She must have wanted to deny what she saw.

" _Physically, she's fine. We're running away from Sakura right now and hopefully, she won't catch us. By the way, you didn't happen to spot Caster flying around?"_

A long pause through our connection. My Master collects her thoughts.

" _She attacked the Church. I was lucky I was late."_ was the ringing in my head.

If Sakura was commanding the fake Assassin, then something must have happened to Caster. If Caster was also under her control, then it meant that she had 3 Servants at her disposal not counting herself. Caster, Rider, fake Assassin and herself, a pseudo Archer. The worst case scenario.

The Church, a keystone to Fuyuki's leylines. It was one of the four gates in which the Holy Grail would appear at the end of this ritual. The Tohsaka manor my Master lived in was one of them. The burned field where everything started for me was another. Lastly, Ryuudou Temple, which was recently compromised. For a participant in the Holy Grail War, these were the ideal places to hunker down in. Still, something bothers me.

" _Why didn't you call on me with a command spell?"_ I ask, but my Master refuses to answer.

For a while, there is no voice in my head but my own.

Fuyuki City is split in the middle by river Mion. The Church is on the east half. The Einzbern Castle within the outskirts is on the west. They couldn't be farther apart. Without a Command Spell, there was no inconspicuous way to cross the river except the crossing the bridge.

If Caster was still herself, then she was probably desperate right now.

The pre-existing bounded field of the temple rejected all unnatural spirits, which is why enemy Servants were encouraged to use the front gate, hence why she summoned a Servant to guard said gate. Her prepared defenses were so easily circumvented.

Sakura didn't have to enter the front gate because she wasn't a Servant. Slipping inside and releasing her shadow. A magus worthy of being a heroic spirit would have deduced right away that Sakura's shadow wasn't something that could be defeated with regular means. After fleeing, the wraith guarding the gate was left alone. Being bound by the mountain, he could not flee from the shadow. The easiest catch. From Sakura's perspective, it must have been nothing more than a short little detour akin to going to a convenience store. The temple wasn't too far from her house, the school or the outskirts where the Einzbern Castle lay hidden.

No matter how skilled the magus, skill in mage-craft did not translate directly into combat potential; my own foster father was a testament to that. If Caster stayed at the temple, then the shadow would inevitably come back. After abandoning her base of operations, where should she set up camp next? If she chose a random area without regard to the leylines, it would only be waiting for inevitable death. Without sufficient preparations, she would undoubtedly lose to any of the other more combat oriented spirits even if the shadow was ignored. Even if she was a magus from an age where Gods still roamed, she was still subject to limitations.

With the temple compromised and the Tohsaka manor already occupied, there were 2 keystones to consider which were both conveniently located across the river from the Matou residence. Fuyuki Park where the Holy Grail appeared 10 years ago, the place entirely devoid of witnesses and bystanders was simply asking to get sniped by an Archer like me. That simply left the Church east of the river Mion, the supposed neutral ground.

It was supposed to be the "neutral" ground, but of course the Einzbern, Emiya, Matou and Tohsaka homes were all located west of the river. It wasn't foolish to think that most of the fighting would be restricted to the west side of the river where most of the contestants lived. Only novices were expected to visit the Church for questions. "Proper" magi participating in the war would never visit the Church if they could avoid it, though I couldn't say if any of the magi in this particular war were "proper". It was actually an ideal place to set up base for Caster if she could manage to create a convincing fake of Kirei as a puppet.

It was also possible that Caster's Master was killed in Sakura's visit and she could have decided to visit the Church hoping to forge a new contract with someone else. That was another possible explanation, but even if legends depicted Medea as someone fickle, it cannot be denied that some blame lay in those old Greek gods.

In the end, the reasoning behind her visit to the Church didn't matter. If she thought that Kirei would be easy to subdue and make into a puppet, then she was sorely mistaken. The priest was troublesome through and through if my memories of him were correct. Kirei wasn't someone you could easily negotiate with without being used yourself. He had countermeasures against Servants if he needed them, but since Rin wasn't ranting, it seemed like he didn't need to do anything. The fact that Rin was alive meant that Caster didn't pursue her despite her defenseless state.

" _Emiya shot Caster down and Saber was on her way to finish her off,"_  is what my Master finally confesses.

Rin carried someone injured on her back without a Servant at night. A regular Master wouldn't let her go that easily even if they believed I was watching them from afar with my bow drawn. Rin was still alive and unscathed. With yesterday as a precedent, I already knew the reason.

" _That girl let you go didn't she?"_

That little girl wasn't suited to fight in the Holy Grail War, but the same argument could be made about my own Master.

" _Yes, but back to my question before you hijack the conversation, what happened to Sakura?"_  was what she was trying to reaffirm.

* * *

We had escaped somehow. Our pursuer eventually gave up. Whether it was out of kingly boredom or some bad memories about the neighborhood didn't matter. The midnight oil was burning, but so were tensions at the Tohsaka residence.

"You don't have tea for your guests? Where are your servants?" is what Illya tells Rin as they sit on opposing sides of the coffee table. The Tohsaka living room seldom receives guests, but the air was far from lively. The air was dead still. For a moment, the swaying pendulum of the grandfather clock was the only thing audible in the room. Despite what the shorter girl had endured, she was able to put on a playful little act in front of my brooding Master.

"You must have some inkling on what was done to Matou don't you?" is the question Rin bluntly poses.

"Instead of asking me how I was, you're asking about that Makiri girl, or Matou was it? Sakura, is that her name? You seemed to have an odd fixation about her during school, then again, the elusive school idol the male monkeys couldn't reach invites me, an adorable little girl to her hovel, could it be that you..," was the shorter girl's sentence that wasn't allowed to be finished if my Master had a say.

"I let you in my house when you claim to have lost yours, so are you really in the position to be telling jokes, Einzbern?" my Master points out.

The kettle goes off. The pressure is released and hopefully the two in front of me can settle down in the same way. I bring the cups. My swords have no pride, but my tea was a different matter. It was late in the night, but the caffeine content in tea was much lower than that of coffee, so it should be fine.

I place the tray between them.

To invite a novice magus to her house was one thing, but to bring in a homunculi who could analyze her home's defenses was another. It was just as Illya had mentioned. Sakura held importance to the girl named Rin. The white haired girl takes a sip without hesitation.

"You must have lucked out. You didn't have servants, so the grail gave you one," is Illya's response to my tea. You know you could have just admitted you liked it.

"So you just assumed the tea was safe?" is what Rin adds.

"Even barbarians won't kill someone they just saved. You wanted this alliance in the first place, so much so you're risking having me at your house, unless this isn't your house?" was Illya's reasoning.

"I assume you already know my relation with Matou, right?" as Rin cuts to the case.

"I know. That Makiri boy earlier today wasn't even a magus and yet he had something like  _that_  for a little sister, so of course she must have been adopted," was the obvious fact the shorter girl states.

My Master tenses up with Illya's use of language in regards to the girl in question. Well, there was no reason to beat around the bush any longer. I may not have been a proper magus in my lifetime, but I knew how magi families operated. Under normal circumstances, a magic crest can only be passed onto one successor. An extra child not intended to inherit anything could only be a hindrance. Shinji himself was a mild example born without magic circuits. Examples born with magic circuits were worse. Battles for succession were ugly things. That was why unneeded children are put up for adoption. To be used as breeding stock if they were lucky or to be used as raw materials for experiments if they were not and sometimes both if a child was really unlucky. It was an aspect of the world that unfortunately exists.

Of the 3 great families that started the Holy Grail War, the declining Matou family could only rely on the other 2 for new stock. The Einzbern or the Tohsaka. Right now, Sakura was something like a chimera composed of all 3 families and the power of a heroic spirit on top of that.

"Well now, isn't it convenient that we both have troublesome little sisters, fellow big sister?" the shorter girl teases. Rin bites her nail. She didn't like the comparison.

"So, what will you do Rin?" was something I had to confirm.

"Matou is probably allied with the Emiya's. Her attack on the Einzbern Castle was probably retaliation for what this brat did at lunch today," was a tone I didn't like.

"Are you saying this is my fault?" as Illya gets defensive.

"No, this outcome was inevitable. We now know who our enemies are and they're all monsters, so now we need countermeasures. Archer, that Noble Phantasm you used to free Berserker, that exploding arrow, it was the same Broken Phantasm you used at the school right?" was the question she poses to me.

Blue orbs bore into me, but they were not the only ones.

"You can project Noble Phantasms?" was what the red eyed girl says to me with genuine surprise.

The cards I wanted to hide were slowly being revealed. My natural enemies indeed. Nothing was going my way was it?

"So, you've finally gotten serious haven't you?"

Rin was starting to act like a proper Master, but I could already tell that this iteration of the Holy Grail War won't end so peacefully.


	14. Caster's End, Saber's Enemy

There was no sound in this place. There was no future for me here, but that was to be expected right? When it comes to falling, I'm no stranger. I look around me, walls of imitation stone to each side and trash behind me. Even in this modern place with white sterile walls and lavish lights, there was filth out of view. No one with sense will visit this place. The day was about to end and above me was the moon. Despite the craters that dot its surface, it is far above the filth of this world. What would Hecate think of me if she saw me as I am now?

The lunar staff I was given was broken in two by that red headed boy's arrow along with my spine. It easily circumvented my conceptual shield.

The stockpile of mana I had gathered was stolen by that girl's shadow along with my Servant. Was that the true form of the "Holy Grail"? Truly, magi were never to be trusted. I as a magus myself know that better than anyone else.

I stop the bleeding and mend my wounds just to get my thoughts in order.

In my original life and as I am now, I was always someone who lost things. I was someone who was forced to lose things. I was someone who will always lose things over and over again. That was the role I was born to play.

In my youth, the Goddess Aphrodite had taken my will. Without my will, I lost my little brother by my own hand as well as my father's love. I was forced to discard my morals, to aid the man I was forced to love, yet in doing so his friends denounced me. In the end he cast me away when associating with me became a liability. I betrayed others and others betrayed me. At that point, I had no place to return to. I lived the rest of my days as an outsider. I became nothing more than a witch to those around me and I repaid their expectations in kind. If something can be said about the life I had lived was that I faithfully played the role I was given and it seemed that nothing had changed. I was still playing the same role. A witch they branded me and I witch I became.

I hate it. I hate it, I hate it. Even though I despise my role, I continue to play it. To display the ugliness in others meant displaying your own.

All things are lost in time and this "dream" I was living up until now was no exception. I could quickly lay a trap to immobilize my pursuer and turn her over to my side with my Noble Phantasm that severs all contracts. These modern cities were densely populated, if I decided to consume as many souls as I could right now without reservation, I could easily support a Servant. I would be lying if such schemes didn't surface just moments ago, but we spirits were simply parasites to the living.

Souichirou was gone.

It was true that the "Holy Grail" could grant most wishes, but it could not grant my original wish. It could be used to grant me a second life, but…..

Souichirou was gone.

The me right now was only a temporal copy of a woman that may have only ever existed in myths, so all those moments from this "dream", won't even have a chance to fade. What right did I have to impede on the living in the first place? Yet what right did the living have over me? If I struggled miserably here, I would simply be playing the role of the witch everyone expects of me. There is no escaping retribution. I would simply be delaying the inevitable. This Holy Grail War was a stupid farce from the start. A scam concocted by modern magi, but that was to be expected of magi.

Besides, Souichirou was gone.

When I was saved, it must have been a miracle. The one who saved me was no magus, but he took me to the temple, one of the four keystones of the ritual. He had no wish for the Grail, but he saved me and supported me. I have only lasted this long for that reason, yet it seems that miracle was a curse in the end.

Souichirou was gone, but he would have lived if he hadn't met me. It was wrong for me to be hopeful. Maybe it was right of those people back then to discard me? What a joke. If things were going to end like this, I...

Descending from the starry sky, garbed in blue and silver, unmarred and untouched, a being that could hardly ever be called human is what takes up my view. Back then, before I became a witch, how would I compare to this beautiful young princess? Was I not a princess once?

"...Saber," is what I manage to say to the otherworldly beauty.

The petite figure towers over me and she inspects my broken form.  _"The same robes,"_  is what she mutters under her breath, but there is no hesitation when she raises her unseen sword. There is no place for me to flee. There was no place for me in this world in the first place. To live as a witch and die as a witch, this ending was expected.

"If you've already accepted death, then I'll listen to your final words," she delivers with crystal clarity.

A pure voice without a grudge or deceit, the knight before me, despite seeking the same Grail was nothing like me. She certainly carried herself differently from the "heroes" of my time who reeked of self interest. I like this girl who was dignified and sincere. Her words were a matter of fact with nothing beneath them. She will kill me and she won't sugar-coat her actions. It was a chilling kindness. It was the only kindness she could afford to someone like me. In exchange for that kindness, I'll give her the unfortunate truth with my ailing voice. The truth behind that shadow that had blotted out the straight path I was walking.

"From one victim to another…...I'll give you a warning. We were not invited to this ritual out of generosity, but to be consumed by that empty Grail….. because the modern magi could not prepare the contents themselves. As someone who isn't a magus, your fight here is meaningless," was a truth she should not believe in and she doesn't, yet she does not accuse me of lying. She ponders a bit, but her words are resolute.

"Even if what you say is the truth magus, I made an oath to be my Master's sword," was her response.

It's an answer that suits her, the knight among knights. Saber's Master? That little girl was certainly luckier than my little brother to have that red headed boy as an older sibling. Truly blessed that little girl is to have Saber as well. My situation was pitiful, but how will it end for Saber? What she sought might already be within her reach, but before I could speak anymore I had already spoken my final words. To die like this, is a joke right? I….

Saber brings down her sword.

* * *

I bring down my sword.

Magi were tricky folk in any era and all the more tricky if time is afforded to them. My upbringing, my rule and the previous Holy Grail War cemented that fact. Caster could not be trusted, but even so outside her territory without a Master to anchor her, she was in no position to harm me. My immunity to most magics doesn't even have to be mentioned. If she showed any indication of an invocation, I would have bisected her before she could speak, but she didn't. No fear or anger. The knights that served me, the knights that turned against me in the end, the queen by my side, they were the same way. It was the expression of someone about to be executed. She was an enemy of mine, an obstacle to my goal, but I was never one to hate my enemies. To bring about one's wish is to trample on the wishes of others. To me, that's all the more reason to act chivalrous, but others have disagreed. That's why I'll try to listen to the final words of my enemies. That will never change.

My sword bites concrete, the robed body disperses and Caster is no longer in this world, yet all the while, I felt something was off. The robe that remains is carried off by the wind. It alone remains, yet before it disappears from view, it's skewered by countless swords.

"...Of..course.," was Caster's final whimper as her existence ceases. In the end, she tried to escape, but my attention turns to the newcomer.

"You could have died beautifully, but what could be expected from a mongrel," was that voice.

I turn my gaze and prepare myself for the next obstacle. Up on the roof top, watching the whole exchange was a pair of red eyes. A blonde figure simply stands illuminated by the moon. Even if the clothes were different, standing before me was the same Servant that was in my way when the Grail was within my grasp 10 years ago. He must have been the source of that unsettling feeling.

"All you do is clean up the messes of mongrels, no, failing even that, yet claim yourself a king? If you became my wife, then I can assure you that you won't have to deal with filth any longer," was that haughty voice that could only have belonged to that one man. I try to control my own voice, but the words flow out before I could even think.

"Why are you still in this world Archer?"

Spirits who answer the call of the Grail to take on the role of Servants were supposed to disappear at the end of the ritual. Still, I shouldn't have been surprised. These Grail Wars were never what I had expected from the start.

"To collect what's mine, isn't that obvious? Has it already been 10 years? Are you still not ready?" is what the self-proclaimed King of Heroes says to me.

There was certainly something wrong with these Holy Grail Wars. When I answered the call last time, I expected a competition against heroes of legend, yet at least half of them couldn't really be called heroes as I know the term. The tyrant from last time continues his nonsensical talk.

"Making a king wait, but I'll forgive you. It must have been like yesterday for you. So have you found your answer? Right now, there isn't anyone around but us," is how he converses with himself.

"If you stand in my way, I'll cut you down. That's all there is between us," are the words I use to prepare myself.

There was no issue with the mana I was supplied. My body was at its peak. I was in better condition than the last time we had fought. I may be able to best him this time.

"So, we'll continue our battle from ten years ago? We'll there isn't some low life in the way to interrupt us this time," was the tyrant's conclusion despite the tinge of disappointment.

He raises his arm and with golden shimmers, his weapons wait behind him ready to fly, but I don't give him the chance.

The clustering stars will cut open a path where the light shines!

**"Excalibur!"**

The roof the tyrant stood on is enveloped in light, but it doesn't mean my enemy had disappeared. A large black shield had absorbed the light and as it is cast away, I see the tyrant. Looking down at me from a throne in the sky, a diamond with wings. It was the same contraption from 10 years that Lancelot had faced. No longer in that modern black attire, he had donned his golden shell.

I don't hesitate. I can't hesitate. I act.

I pick up speed, bouncing against the walls in order to ascend, I rush at my enemy. When I ran out of footholds I let my prana burst against the air and I propel myself skyward with each step. The stars gather in my hand. The air dissipates in the path of my swing.

**"Excalibur!"**

The light blasts away the projectiles that were thrown so casually at me. I charge at the throne in the sky like a shooting star, yet the throne was quicker. I miss my target and descend back to earth, yet I am showered with metal all the while.

I deflect the swords and use a lance as a foothold to push myself away with another burst of prana. I have plenty of reserves this time around, yet my sword still could not reach him. No, he could not afford to let me get close to him for he was supposedly an Archer after all. I take refuge on a roof, but it was only a minor respite as the sword rain continues.

I run across the space between the heaven and the earth. From skyscraper to skyscraper, with each explosive step, I weave and dodge. My thoughts drift back to that arrow Shirou had used. It was able to track down and hit Caster despite whatever aerial maneuver she employed. Still, would he be able to knock that tyrant off his throne just as easily? I cast away the thoughts. To rely on someone who wasn't a Master, for someone who had no wish for the Grail was arrogant on my part. The Holy Grail War ideally was a battle between heroic spirits. Even though my wish is to erase my own past, there is still a warrior's pride within me.

The throne sits among the stars. The air rumbles. Clustering the stars, I swing my sword once again.

**"Excalibur!"**

The blinding light scars the night sky, but I am unable to swat down the tyrant as my slash is intercepted. He was waiting to receive as the identity of the rumbling reveals itself.

**"Enuma Elish!"**

Two forces of equal magnitude clash and for a second, the night had become day. No, they weren't equal because I'm blown away. The pain in my back and the blurring of my vision, it seems I was injured, but where was I?

 _"Saber! Are you in trouble?"_  is the distressed voice of my Master that rings in my head. Yes, that blinding light should have been noticeable by everyone.

Distressed voices rattle around. I regain my vision and see the scattered papers and broken desks. I must have crashed through an office building because all around me were confused office workers. Maybe it was from the sleep deprivation, but the salary-men working overtime did not register what was happening immediately. Some were still sound asleep at their desks despite the commotion. Someone reaches for a phone, but before that person could finish dialing, his head was removed with a flying crescent blade and it was then the people started screaming, but it quickly stops. Someone was killed in front of me and as that fact registers, in that time frame, all the other office workers had their lives ended with a shaft through their hearts before they could run away. In a span of a few seconds, all the witnesses were silenced.

"To make me clean up after you, you truly have no talent for cleaning, but cleaning is not a job befitting my wife. You're quite the troublesome woman aren't you?" was that unperturbed voice of the perpetrator.

The golden tyrant descends from his flying throne, but he refuses to step through the wall that wasn't there anymore. He grimaces at the dust and debris. Something was boiling within me.

"Archer, you!" but I'm cut off.

"When I received news that you were in the vicinity, I thought I would gift you with my presence, king of Knights, but it seems you still need time to think. The Holy Grail War is still young, so I'll be patient," were those nonsensical words again.

Before I could get up, he simply flies away.

I look around me, at the tragedy that unfolded. I grimace at the corpses. Ordinary folk simply working to support their families to die in such a way because of me, it's not something I could make up for. Once again, I'm reminded I was a relic impeding on the living. To fail those in the past, yet to fail those in the future as well, I hated the feeling. The present is what it is because of the past. For me who wanted to change the past, it was hypocrisy, but I quickly discard those thoughts. I enter a burning calm.

There was no way that the residents of this city haven't noticed the cracks of light in the dead of night. Three instances in one night no less. As my injuries seal up, I hear the footsteps approaching. I needed to disappear quickly. I exit through the way I came.

I feel the wind on my face. The moon was still up. The stars continued to shine.

 _"Saber?"_ was my Master's voice once again ringing in my head.

 _"I'm fine. Caster has been taken care of, but there is something urgent we must discuss at home_ tomorrow morning _,"_ is all I could report to my Master through our link. If she knew the lives that were lost on my watch, a girl like her wouldn't be able to sleep. Despite what I wish for, I could not throw away my pride.

Buildings scraping against the night sky all around me, they were brimming with light that could be mistaken for stars. Despite what had happened just 10 years ago which was yesterday for me, the people down below continue to live their lives. No matter what horrors happen, humans will always move forward. The buildings that did not exist the last time I had fought were testaments to that, yet it couldn't be denied that there was something sterile about them. They were certainly different from the older buildings on the west side of the river. No matter how much people move forward, something of the past always remains. Even though we of the past have lived our time, we continue to impede on the living.


	15. Shirou's Trust

 

* * *

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb."

Those were the words the priest used to break the silence. Was that a passage or something else? Either way, I turn my gaze to the one beside me and it seems the words did the trick. Miyu's trance was broken and her breathing settles, but that did not mean she was well. She tries to speak up.

"That's….," but the priest gives her no quarter.

"In the end, whom did Emiya Kiritsugu spill his blood for? For whom did Emiya Shirou spill his blood for? For whom are you going to spill your blood for? For whom will you be spilling blood?"

It seems those robes of his weren't a lie. He had a commanding voice that drowned out all other voices in the church but his own. Such a thing was a necessity for sermons.

" _For he today that sheds his blood with me. Shall be my brother,"_  is what Miyu mutters beneath her breath.

I didn't want to admit it, but the priest before us knew things about our family that we did not, yet there are some things you simply cannot say. The priest was too intimate with our plight. He also seemed to derive some pleasure in it. Maybe he was a fake after-all? I open my mouth and question him.

"Isn't a priest's job to comfort the lost?"

He simply smiles at my provocation. He really was enjoying himself wasn't he?

"That was my intention, but you seem to misunderstand my role. As of now you two should be rejoicing. Over these past few days, did you not reaffirm the bond of your family?" were words that shouldn't have been delivered with such a zealous smile.

"YOu..."

A flash of light cascades through the stained glass and on cue Miyu runs out of the church. Saber was in trouble. Whether it was out of concern or simply an excuse to escape the priest wasn't something I could tell.

I run after her. The priest behind me was probably still smiling right now.  _Just like in those nightmares._

* * *

Under the night sky we three make our way back home. The hill the Church was perched upon recedes into the distance. The minutes pass and it was then I felt something off. The patter of small footsteps had ceased; the sound of them replaced by panting. I turn around. It seems that the events of these past few days have taken their toll on that small frame. Miyu with that weary expression looks forward, squarely at me.

"Carry me," is the request my little sister makes of me.

"Didn't you say that you wanted to be more self-reliant?"

"Just do it," she bluntly says.

"Master, if you require someone to carry you..," is what Saber says before Miyu simply walks past her over to me. It seems I had no choice then.

"Alright then," I say as I crouch down.

Miyu pays no heed to Saber's offer and gets on my back. I put power into my knees and stand up once more as we continue on our way. Maybe I should have scolded her a bit, offered more resistance, but I'll consider this Holy Grail War a special occasion. Anything so that she can sleep soundly. Afterall, supporting a Servant like Saber must have been a burden she isn't accustomed to.

We cross the bridge, leaving the tall glittering buildings behind us.

That place, where the city lights blot out the stars. Where artificial light was so abundant, it seemed that even the flashes of crystalized myth were drowned out, but that instance of day was unmistakable. Regular people may have chalked it up to a hallucination or a faulty satellite, but I knew the truth.

"Saber, was Caster really that much trouble?"

The matter was resolved, but from personal experience, I knew the difference in strength between the two classes. After I shot Caster out of the sky with my arrow, it shouldn't have even been a battle for someone like Saber to finish her off. That momentary flash that illuminated the night must have meant that she had encountered another enemy.

"She wasn't," she replies without elaborating.

"Then, be more mindful of how you spend my sister's mana, though considering how you eat…"

"Apologies, but at that time, I went through with what I believed was the right course of action," the knight reports. She was getting defensive.

"You met another Servant on the way I'm guessing."

Her gaze meets mine. She hesitates for a moment, but only for a moment.

"Yes….It was something I wanted to discuss this in the morning, but it seems you won't settle for that. The tyrant I faced in the last Holy Grail War, the Archer from back then has managed to stay in this world. I tried cutting him down as quickly as possible, but with all his Noble Phantasms…..It's unfortunate, but I can't guarantee victory against him," is what she confesses.

An Archer spirit; not the Archer that I might become, but….

"Gilgamesh."

The King of Uruk, a heroic spirit stronger than King Arthur. Armored in gold and possessing all of humanity's accomplishments within that vast treasury, the strongest "card". The card I could never find. The card I had faced in my dreams and for years now, I never stopped doubting its existence. That's why I kept patrolling despite coming home empty handed every night after collecting the initial 7. The Holy Grail War supposedly involves only 7 heroic spirits if Saber and the priest were correct, but I knew never to take things at face value. No one knew everything and it was only natural for people to withhold what they knew and there were always exceptions to every rule. Mage-craft relied upon  _mysteries_  afterall.

Saber had stopped walking. She stares intensely at me, trying to uncover what I was hiding. What I was withholding. It was only natural. I knew too many things for someone who supposedly knew nothing.

"You know of him?" is what she asks of me.

I needed to confirm it with a question of my own. The Archer Saber had faced might not be the Archer spirit I was talking about. It might have just simply been a coincidence, but so far, every Servant that has appeared corresponded to a card and that spelled trouble. The Saber by our side was stronger than the Saber derived from the card I had fought and it only goes to reason that we'll be facing a stronger King of Heroes than the one in my dreams down the line.

"Gold armor and an inexhaustible treasury of Noble Phantasms. Sounds about right?"

I hold my breath.

"Who are you?" is her response that indicated that I was unfortunately right on the money. From what she told me, it seems that Gilgamesh had spared her. She wasn't confident she could beat him and I wasn't either, but I couldn't let her know that. I wanted her to trust me and I needed to trust her if we were to overcome the enemy we would inevitably have to face. I equip the biggest smile I could muster to become the person I needed to be.

Who am I? I may have struggled with that question once, but that was long ago. I have absolutely no doubts about who I am. That won't change.

"Just an older brother."

The answer was always that simple I couldn't help but smile when I say it. Saber doesn't buy it, but she understood she won't get a clearer answer from me. Well, despite whatever anyone else thinks, that's all there was to it. That's why I couldn't agree with everything the things that priest had said. Family bonds weren't something limited to blood, but testing them shouldn't be something to rejoice for. Pain shapes our path, but it isn't something that should be sought, but it seems Miyu still hadn't fallen asleep.

"Onii-chan, dad…... he wished for all his children to grow up healthy didn't he?" is the question the small girl on my back poses with a strained voice as if challenging my answer. Even now, Miyu was thinking about that girl who wanted to hurt us and she had never stopped. About that girl that isn't my sister.

" _Then I wish, for all of my children to grow up strong and healthy."_

I ignore it. I ignore it, but my smile is shattered. That's why I had to look straight forward.

"It doesn't matter if she was born from our old man," is what I tell her and what I tell myself. That girl isn't family. That girl isn't family. For siblings to kill each other, to hurt each other….

"That girl has no relation to us. That girl couldn't have been much older than you. Kiritsugu probably never met her. There was no opportunity for Kiritsugu to be her father and no opportunity for her to be his daughter. So…," is what I desperately try to argue, but it was futile.

I feel the small fingers digging into me. My argument was in patches.

"They met. ….. If they didn't, the fact she has no family right now doesn't change...," is the truth that digs even deeper that my sister refused to overlook.

I wanted to deny it, but I never won an argument against Miyu. If that white haired girl's mother was still around, if her mother was a proper mother, then there was no way that she'd be allowed to participate in the Holy Grail War. The Einzbern, her so called family sent her here to become the Holy Grail. They callously sent her here to die.

"…Are we just leaving her alone?" is the question I never wanted to hear.

A girl without a proper family. A girl without a future.

I would be lying if I didn't understand. My original family was taken from me and that's why I couldn't bear losing the one I had now. Her original family was taken from her and that's why she couldn't bear our existence; kids raised by the kind man that should have been her father.

I understood, but it was pointless. I know I don't have the power to save everyone. I know I barely have the power to protect one person. The dampness I felt on my back was evidence of my inability to protect even one smile.

" _She should have been the one instead of…m...that's why…_.we'll save her won't we?" is the wish my sister makes.

Even so, I didn't even have the power to deny my sister's wish. All I wanted was her to stop crying.

"Yes," is the only word I could say even though there was a good chance it would become a lie.

"Are you just….," were the words she doesn't finish. She doesn't say anything more.

Even though she couldn't see my face, I knew she knew that I wasn't smiling and she wasn't smiling either. My words fail to reassure her.  _She doesn't trust my words._

On the rest of the trip home, no one said another word. Not a word when the bridge disappeared behind us. Not when we passed over the houses. No when we arrived at the front gate. All I could feel were the fingers biting into my shoulder. The lights of our home were on and sleeping in the living room was Fuji-nee. It seems we had worried her. That's another thing to add to the list.

* * *

Morning came and there were things that were immediately off. Saber was a new addition, but she wasn't the thing that was off. Miyu was getting something from the kitchen which wasn't out of the ordinary. Fuji-nee was at the table, but Sakura was nowhere to be seen. Even if Sakura didn't always join us for dinner, she was something ever present in the morning for breakfast.

"Did you get into a fight with Sakura?" is what Fuji-nee accuses me of at the table.

"That's…"

"You did something yesterday and spent all night trying to apologize, but it didn't work," she continues nodding to herself, convinced she has a handle on the situation.

Sakura didn't come. It shouldn't be strange. I must have been overthinking things, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I couldn't accept it. I couldn't accept that the peaceful days had ended already.

"I told her not to get involved at lunch yesterday," is what I could recall from yesterday's interaction with her.

"Didn't Kiritsugu teach you how to treat girls? Even Miyu is upset. What is this thing you're involved with anyhow?" the tiger continues to bite. Fuji-nee was an ordinary person. I couldn't divulge anything about the unseen side we lived in. I wouldn't know what to do if I dragged her into that mess too.

It was then my little sister comes to my aid by tugging at Fuji-nee's skirt.

"Fuji-nee…," was her soft whisper.

At this point Saber had finished her food and Fuji-nee's gaze turns to Saber, then to Miyu. Under that small girl's melancholy gaze, the tiger had no choice but to settle down.

"Right, there's no point in pointing fingers."

Breakfast finishes without much fanfare thereafter. Fuji-nee as a teacher leaves early to make preparations for her students. The small moments pass and another school day begins. Our home recedes behind us. Miyu walks behind me with Saber in tow, scanning the area for potential threats. She certainly did not sleep well last night. She was still upset, but what could I do?

"Miyu."

When I call out her name, she simply runs ahead of me, shooting a pained smile with her arms behind her back.

"Sorry. Forget what I said last night," is what she tells me before breaking into a run. Saber quickly follows.

I myself was about to do the same, but I wasn't dense. She wanted me to leave her alone. Right now I was alone. Sakura wasn't here.

* * *

I enter the school and things were already a miss. There were quite a few people missing this morning. The student council room was empty. Issei was absent. I checked the archery club to see if any members were putting in extra morning practice, but I couldn't find Ayako. I couldn't find Sakura. From the window, I could see Saber was patrolling the school perimeter while being chased off by the gym teacher. With all the recent happenings, it was obvious people would be a little suspicious of outsiders, especially if they were wearing animal pajamas. We really needed to set some time to get Saber more conservative clothes. I check on Miyu before the homeroom bell rings. She was still upset and her classmates were already trying to dote on her. By now, Sakura should have greeted me, but she was still nowhere to be found. I run along the halls paying no heed to the fact I would be late. I ignore my beating heart while listening to the chatter.

" _Didn't you hear about what happened at Ryuudou temple yesterday?"_

Apparently, something had happened to the homeroom teacher of 2A because Kuzuki Souichirou wasn't someone to take time off work. I kept running. At this point Issei would probably lecture me, but he wasn't here. People were already gossiping about the absence of the school idol.

" _Rin didn't show up to school today, do you think she….."_

For those involved in the Holy Grail War, there was some merit in taking a break from classes to prepare. I listen to all the chatter, hoping that Sakura wasn't a topic too.

" _The Holy Grail War has begun,"_  were words I feared she would say.

The school bell rings and it seems that I had run a full lap as I make my way to the main entrance. I hold my breath. It was then Sakura appeared.

"Sorry I was late for school today, Senpai. Something happened at home, but shouldn't you be in homeroom?" is what she greets me with. She gets closer to read my expression. I try to say something, but nothing comes out of my mouth.

"I wasn't there this morning and you are already like this huh?" was her voice again, confirming that she wasn't some illusion.

Sakura was fine. I could find solace in that small thing, but…..

"What happened at home?"

"Nii-san got into an accident, so I was just checking up on him in the hospital," were her casual words that should have contained more concern.

Einzbern, Makiri and Tohsaka. Those were the three names the priest had dropped. I steel myself. These ordinary days have already ended. Even if I didn't want the lie to end, even if I only wanted to know of the Sakura who only smiled, I knew such a thing was selfish.

"Makiri…... does that name mean anything to you?"

"That's what the Matou used to be called long ago before they moved to Fuyuki," is what Sakura confesses in a single breath. Unlike what I expected, there were no tears, no sad or tragic smile, just that same smile she always wore.

"Then….."

"You don't have to do anything Senpai. What makes you unhappy, what makes her unhappy and thus what makes me unhappy, leave everything to me," is the declaration she makes.

That declaration was a confession that she had done something last night.

"What did you do?"

"If you're asking about that white haired doll, then you shouldn't have to worry about her any.."

"YOU…," I say before I rein my own voice in. My teeth and my fists are clenched. I try to re-center myself. I try to calm down after realizing how I was acting. I can't speak to Sakura with such a tone. Even though I raised my voice, she still meets my gaze with such clear eyes. I can't meet that gaze.

"Why are you angry? She doesn't have anything to do with us," is the half-truth Sakura conveys.

Illyasviel von Einzbern has nothing to do with us and that's what's wrong. That was why Miyu was upset. I look up and match Sakura's gaze.

"She's still alive isn't she?" is what I had to confirm.

"I didn't touch her, but hopefully she learned her place last night, but we're running late, so we'll continue this talk at lunch," Sakura says with that gentle smile of hers.  _Still alive, good._ It was unsettling, but I force such thoughts to the back of my mind. I want to trust Sakura. I wanted to trust her words. I wanted to believe Sakura was our ally.  _Just like in that dream._ Sakura was someone who always had my well-being in mind. That's the simple truth. We could finish this discussion in depth at lunch. Sakura won't hide anything.  _Our relationship could finally become real._  That's why I could I meet her smile with my own.

"Thank you."

We part ways after that exchange and I don't look back. Homeroom was over and we needed to get to class quickly. We'll sort all of this out together. I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone anymore is what I had to tell myself. I needed to trust others if I wanted others to trust me. Only then can this life become real.


	16. Matou Hopes

 

* * *

I open my eyes to a white sterile room. A room I don't recognize. A room unfitting of the Matou heir. A place where I don't belong. I try to remember, to recall the events, but all I could recall was that shooting pain. My legs had hurt. The pain was unbearable, but right now I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel anything. I look forward, but I see no cast. Why was that?

"My legs…."

Something was supposed to be there, but all I saw was empty space. Nothing. Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Who did this to me, Matou Shinji?

"They're gone….."

I scream and yell, but no one comes. My legs were gone. It was pointless, but I couldn't stop. I slam my hands into the stumps hoping that something was there, but…..

"Gahhhh…!"

Even with the sedatives, the pain was unbearable. So unbearable that I wanted to die, but me dying? I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. Matou Shinji can't die like that! To die in such a pathetic way? Without making something of myself? That brat! Rider! Sakura! If only she summoned a better Servant that smug little albino brat would be in my place.

"SAKURA!"

Where was she? That good for nothing "sister" of mine. Of course she wouldn't be here. I'm not jealous of Emiya. The only good thing about Sakura was that vulgar body and I'm sure Emiya isn't even interested in it. That Emiya creep probably prefers them younger. That white haired brat yesterday who ordered me legs to lopped off was dangerous and yet he just follows her up to the roof? Sakura has terrible taste in men, but that isn't surprising. Him? The perfect older brother? I'm certain he only let Sakura hang out with him because she's someone's little sister, because half the time, he's talking about his own little sister. He's so sketchy, and yet Sakura thinks of him as some paragon of virtue? She's really making fun of me. Love really is blind. She's just too easy.

"SAKURA!"

I bet Emiya cheats on the archery range with mage-craft.  _Aimbotter._ He even has the gall to miss on purpose. The fact he's a magus that grandfather put tabs on, he isn't someone who can be trusted. Any good point about Emiya was him only putting on an act, yet, to fall in love with some half-baked act, someone you were explicitly ordered to observe…..

"Yes, nii-san?"

A voice, but no figure in view. It was only a trick of the light. Sakura appears in front of me by taking off her "scarf". Lucky her, to have such a vast collection of such wondrous magical tools, so many of them made from solid gold no less….

"I made some beef stew. Plenty of protein," she goes on to say with a thermos in her hands and sets it by the bedside.

"You're really slow aren't you? Stew isn't something you eat in bed. It's bound to spill on the sheets! I lost me legs and only now you show up?"

The harlot was making fun of me as she takes a seat next to my bedside.

"Yes," is all she says in response as if to confess that my hunch was correct.

"You're doing this on purpose!"

I raise my voice, but she continues smiling. That fake smile she always puts on in front of me. That's how it has always been right? Mocking me behind that smile. Looking down on me.

"It's good to see you so lively. I'm sure that you'll be dis…"

I reach for the thermos to throw at her, but stop myself. Just budging a little, the pain comes back.

"It hurts! It hurts. It hurts!"

It still hurts. She grabs the thermos and opens it up. Taking out a fork, she begins to feed me a chunk of radish, or pretend to. The fork makes its path to my mouth and I have no choice but to open up if I didn't want my cheek to be burned. It's hot. It's hot, but I had to endure. To be fed like a baby, I didn't want any evidence of it to remain.

"Still piping hot. Aren't thermoses amazing?" is her stating the obvious with that smile of hers. At the very least, that smile now was closer to being genuine, though the implications were hardly good.

It hurts. It burns. My throat burns and no words could escape my swollen mouth. All I could do was swallow.

"There's no need to speak. Even if you never recover, I'll take care of you. You belong to me after all. Rest assured, if she knows any better, she won't do anything to what's mine anymore," were the nonsensical words that come out of her mouth. She caresses my cheek in a way a mother would, not like I remember what that felt like. It was annoying. It was annoying. I wanted to brush it off, I turn my neck side to side violently, but she does not stop. Was she that slow or was she mocking me?

"Drop the act," is what I manage to say.

She pauses for a moment. Did I hurt her feelings?

"It's not an act. I actually do like you quite a bit," is what she says as a matter of fact.

Once again, that stupid little act. She was a nice girl, but nice girls are a lie. Being nice is simply a means to obtain, but there was no reason to fault her for that. All the girls at school who were ever nice to me were always after money. Men and women all put on acts to get what they want. That isn't wrong. People using people, exchanging one thing for another. That fact annoys me, but something annoys me more.

"What do you even want from me?" I ask, but she doesn't answer.

I wasn't special. I was ordinary. Sleeping in this bed, being unable to move, I can't run away from that fact any longer. Even though I was born within the Matou, I couldn't become a Matou. Matou were magi, but I had no magic circuits. That was why this insufferable girl in front of me was adopted. To inherit the Matou knowledge and yet, she takes no pride in being a Matou. She takes no pride in being what I could never hope to become. Obsessed more with the Emiya siblings and cooking than mage-craft. She looked forward more to cleaning the toilet than spending time with grandfather. I admit that the Matou mage-craft is not pretty to look at in practice, but to look down on us in that way….Someone as vulgar as her dreaming to be some no name housewife. It was unforgivable.

Someone special that wanted to be ordinary. Someone who had everything I wanted. I couldn't understand her at all. I couldn't understand what she was thinking at all. There's just one question in my head.

"What do you even want from me?" I ask again.

I had nothing. I'm not the strongest or the smartest at school. The Matou name was all I had that made me special, and yet I couldn't even practice Matou mage-craft. I was trash. I had nothing. I was nothing. My family was once great, but that ended when I was born. The Matou stopped being special when I came along. All we had were records of the fact we were once special. All those secret techniques I memorized, but could not perform because I didn't have magic circuits. My father, grandfather and Sakura were all laughing behind my back as I did pointless things. I wish to be a magus, but that won't come true as long as I was what I am. That's why I wanted the Holy Grail. That's why I chose to fight in the Holy Grail War.

"You belong to me, that's all," is the truth she speaks.

Ahahahah. More of that nonsense. She was so meek before, but now armed with that confidence, she says it like it is. So all this time, I was the toy. She really was making fun of me. I wasn't born with magic circuits and now I don't even have my legs.

"I must be really fun to mock aren't I? Some worthless normie that doesn't know his place."

"Normie? No, a normie wouldn't be dumb enough to fight in the Holy Grail War," is what she tells me to my face with that crapsaccharine smile.

"Did you just give me Rider to see me fail?..Maybe I should have just died back there. Without my legs, I'm….."

I try to laugh it off, but my eyes became wet. I was less than worthless right now. I had become a burden. That's all I could ever be from now on.

"Don't speak so lightly of dying. Everything ends when you die," were some nice sounding words coming out of her.

"Stop acting nice."

"This isn't something to cry over, but the fact you have something to cry for, something you want beyond yourself, chasing something you'll never obtain, to have hope, I think it's wonderful," was Sakura's nonsense again.

"You think that's wonderful?"

She lays her hand on my forehead. My legs were gone, but I didn't have a fever you dumb broad.

"When I was thrown away, I had nothing, but I didn't die. My world up until then was gone and all that was left was this body.  _This filthy_ ….…. As long as I obeyed grandfather, I would survive and would simply  _receive_. The pain, the filth, the power, I would receive it all, but that wasn't living.….I had no hopes of my own. Nothing I wanted to  _take_. I once thought it would be fine to let grandfather decide what I needed to be, but you were different."

"Because grandfather expects nothing of me?"

I really wanted to hit her, but I couldn't get up. If I tried, my leg stumps would start hurting again.

"Yet you continued to live, to hope despite being hopeless, to seek something you couldn't obtain. You're similar to senpai in that respect. With or without your legs, is there really a difference from before?  _You were nothing and are still nothing._  You'll live through this. Compared to you, back then, I simply survived. There was nothing I wanted for myself. Nothing to commit myself to…," were words of hers that shouldn't have been sad.

"Those are some words of privilege. If you have nothing you want, that must mean you have everything doesn't it? Haven't you already become what I wanted to be? When was the last time you listened to grandfather anyways?"

It was then the insufferable giggling starts. With her impish smile, the melancholy tone before becomes a lie.

"Yes. I realized quite a while ago that there are just too many things I don't want to lose," is what she admits to my face as she makes that self satisfied expression.

She stands up, sets the thermos to the side and turns her back. It was time for her to leave. It was laughable. It was laughable. So laughable that the pain in my legs no longer registered. My whole life really was a farce.

"Get well soon," were her words I couldn't accept.

Sakura just leaves just like that humming to herself. I still did not understand her in the slightest even after all these years.

* * *

I make my through the door, leaving the nameplate inscribed with "Matou" behind me. "Matou", that was the name of my current family. In many respects, my family was flawed, but I'm still Matou Sakura. I dawn my special scarf in a practiced motion, avoiding my long hair. I make my way down the hospital stairs. I pass through the crowded halls and there were a few familiar names. Ayako was also staying here wasn't she? Well, that's another person that won't be attending archery practice soon.  _More alone time with senpai, no, it's wrong to think like that._ The hospital was certainly crowded.  _Was I partly to blame or was it mostly that witch?_

As I make it outside, it was apparent that the day was still young as the sun had barely risen. I walk down the crowded streets and no one notices a thing. It would be a bad thing to be noticed after all. As I look up, a lot of people's gazes were drawn to the yellow tape that adorned a certain office building. I had an inkling who was responsible. I really didn't want to encounter "him".

It won't end well if he notices me, but he isn't one to notice nobodies in the background. I was always a nobody and with the treasured cloth wrapped around me, I was a nobody among nobodies.  _Would he accuse me of being a thief?_ Dealing with that person would be troublesome say the least.  _I was a misshapen, cobbled together counterfeit of him after all._ Out of respect for his one friend, that king, the first hero would only accept a single "fake" in this world. All other "fakes" were an affront to his friend.

As I was a "fake" myself, I could never adopt such way of thinking despite the compulsions. No, in fact, I quite liked "fakes". That desperate and deliberate attempt to be real, I could not help but admire such a thing. My feet patter on the uniform slabs of concrete. My shoulders brush against the current of bodies, but no one pays attention. From the streets to the bridge, I take in each and every little identical nut and bolt. Every car I see, delivering people to their workplace was a copy. Advancement is built on replication and preservation. Prototypes are nice, but it is the mass produced copies that change this world. I make my way to school, but it was a long trip. I glance at my mass produced watch.

"Five minutes until school starts…."

Even though I started my day early and didn't visit the Emiya home, according to the time everyone else kept, I was going to be late for school wasn't I? I run and run. Almost an hour and I'm at the gate. I was late for certain.  _Not like there is a student council president to scold me, because he's in the hospital._

"So late…."

At the entrance, I see that familiar fluff of red hair. He was waiting for me. How wonderful, but the conversation was taken to a place I didn't want it to be.

"She's still alive isn't she?" is what he asks of me.

"I didn't touch her, but hopefully she learned her place last night," was the truth I confess. I didn't touch that insufferable little doll because I didn't get a chance because….

"Thank you," were words he didn't have to say.

We part ways. We were both late for class. As I enter the halls and pass by the classrooms, it was clear that quite a few people were absent. Well, the Holy Grail War was underway after all. My brother had tried gathering mana for Rider last night before meeting that white haired doll. Ayako and a few other students were hospitalized for that reason. I should have followed him. I feasted at the temple, which was why the student body president wasn't here either. To think that a Master was one of the teachers at school. It really was regrettable, though Caster was in fact responsible for a lot of hospitalizations herself.

There was one thing that was off, but I brushed it off.

I didn't see Miyu at all today, but there were quite a few days when her side job as an underground doctor took precedence. Maybe she was called over by Raiga again to treat people that couldn't be treated in a regular hospital?  _It was only the other day Taiga got injured._ After all, in this Holy Grail War, I wasn't the only person sending people to the hospital. The yellow tape that draped a certain office building I walked past was evidence of that. The understaffed hospital was brimming with patients when I visited my brother, so it wouldn't be strange for Miyu to be called upon. For someone like her, for people with goals, school was of secondary importance.

Some of my earliest memories at the Emiya residence was that small frame hunched over a thick biology textbook. That small girl, even younger than me back then had something she wanted to be. She had a goal to aim for. In some ways, she had already achieved her goal in her work as an underground doctor. School in the end is a place for children to figure out what they wanted to be before they became adults.

Miyu. The perfect little sister. The perfect little daughter. A rarity that must be protected.

Emiya Kiritsugu, the late father of those two I had never met. The late father of an aspiring doctor and a superhero. Even though I never met him, I only had positive feelings for that man. His name was familiar in a way. It's a shame he isn't around anymore.

Lunch period comes once again and I meet up with that aspiring superhero at the rooftop once again. With the Holy Grail War underway, it was obvious that his patrols would get more aggressive and school becoming less important, yet for him to still come, there had to be a reason. It was clear he was going to interrogate me. It was then I realized that I was too careless. He stands before me with those tired eyes of his. In his eyes, something was missing.

"Where's Miyu?" is what he asks of me.

My heart rate rises. I miscalculated. It seems I was getting too arrogant. The world never reacted in a way I wanted, so even after getting power, why would that change?

* * *

Sakura's room was quite plain, but it was unmistakably a girl's, but right now, chained to the wall were two white haired figures. I had answered Sakura's summons and became her Servant under the alias of Rider. Right from the start, I knew that my Master wasn't a regular girl, for a regular girl wouldn't have summoned something like me. In every age, there are pitiful girls. Pitiful sisters. I stare at the two mature homunculi and watch them as I was ordered to.  _Don't let grandfather touch them._ These women were hostages for Berserker's little Master.

The homunculi maids say nothing and I say nothing to them. I could tell that to them, the little Einzbern Master was more than just someone they served. It wasn't something they were coined to feel. Looking back, despite that little white haired girl's arrogance and hubris, she had rushed back home in a panic when her home was mentioned yesterday in that small skirmish. That loyalty was certainly something that was reciprocated. From what I overheard from Sakura's "grandfather" if he could be called as such, the maids were Einzbern "failures". The little Master the maids served presumably was the "success". They had a concept of "family", but that shouldn't be surprising.

I and my sisters were born from wishes. The three of us, the deification of men's desires for perfect "idols". Right from the start, we were existences that were both envied and coveted. In that way, we never got to live as humans did. These homunculi were the same. Coined from fine molds, too perfect to be the humans they emulated, it was only natural for the world to reject them like the world had rejected us. I could only see tragedy for them at the end of this war. Even though the age of gods had ended, the world did not change. After all, there are still idiotic asses that follow the carrot on the string like Shinji.


	17. Tohsaka's Tenuous Treasures

 

* * *

_Under the night sky, in the redheaded boy's hands is that familiar glow no different from mine those years ago when my father was still around teaching me. If he wasn't standing right before me, I wouldn't have even noticed. Magical energy swirls in his palm, before it takes the shape of the image in his head, a projection? The earliest tricks an apprentice would learn to hone their control over their circuits was Gradation Air. To give form, to one's mind. A parlor trick that created items inferior to equivalents made without mage-craft. It was commonly regarded as a dead end. Instead of projecting an inferior tool as a means, mana would be better spent to simply accomplish the end. If you needed a fire for example, casting a fire spell was more efficient than projecting a lighter. The constructs I made in my youth were always weak and temporal, yet the thing in Emiya's hands was the farthest thing from that description._

_"Hrunting…."_

_A red jagged arrow that was almost alive, with the aura of a predator and the mystery of something ancient; not something hastily made seconds ago. It was a Noble Phantasm, a weaponized legend and it was a projection…_

* * *

My head aches and my eyes burn. What was I doing? What the life of Tohsaka Rin leading to? I could only vaguely recall, yet there was something in my hand. My face muscles were sore, but staring at the thing in my hand, I understood why. Morning had come and night had passed. Did I spend all of last night grinning like an idiot passed out on my desk?  _Or was it something I stashed along with the blueprints….._ Whatever was the case, I was late for school, but right now school wasn't important.

The Holy Grail War up to this point was an unabated disaster for me personally. I wanted to summon Saber, but got an Archer Servant instead. The complications the Emiya siblings raised didn't have to be mentioned. I wanted to ignore Sakura, to believe that she would have no involvement in this competition, but she was a Matou. There was no way she wouldn't get involved and it seemed she had quite a few secret weapons under her sleeves.  _The same kind the Emiya's had._ I was careless. It seemed I wasn't immune to wishful thinking.  _Why couldn't they just have been a normal couple?_ If Sakura was able to push back that brat with Berserker in tow, then what were my chances? Despite not being normal, I was acutely aware of Sakura's preference for the current status quo which aligned with mine. Everyone will avoid fighting under daylight, that was the unsaid rule of this Holy Grail War, but considering that bounded field that was set up at the school before, I'm not sure. That was Shinji's doing wasn't it? Yet, Shinji was likely to be Sakura's pawn. She was able to avoid being outed as a Master by using him as a covering. The headache won't subside.

It was always one thing after the other, but it seems there was a silver lining. As I get my thoughts into order, the thing in my hands though was an illusion, it was something I could grasp. Something beyond my reach, something I was determined to hold one day, yet it was already in my hand before I even reached my second decade of life.

The light refracts off it in unpredictable ways. Rainbow light swirls that could barely be contained. Several bands that logically shouldn't have been the product of the cat's eye effect somehow adorned the ever changing surface. Despite the aesthetically crude appearance, from my eyes, it held both majesty and authority.

The Jewel Sword Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, or at least a rough forgery of it.

The favored weapon of my family's great master, the Wizard Marshall. Filled within were energies from other worlds.

In order to overcome the enemy Masters who casually threw around Noble Phantasms, I needed a conceptual weapon of my own to compete, so I dug around for the blueprints I needed. Even if my spells were ineffective, sheer quantity had a quality all on its own. It was crass, but sometimes brute force was the only solution and the thing in my hands granted me exactly that in mana. The gem sword was a test given to us by one of the True Magicians in this world who had taken a liking to my ancestor. It was an assignment for our family line that stumped us for generations and Archer really just…...projected it for me like I asked him to.

"Are you really that happy about cheating on your homework, Master?" is the annoying voice of my Servant breaking my mood. I repay his remark with my own.

"Honestly, who in this war isn't cheating?"

Yes, my pride took a beating, but that wasn't the time for that now. If Archer could project Noble Phantasms of all things, then it was worth a try to consult him and the crystalline blade in my hands is the result. I turn my head to the side to see the scattered papers and broken furniture. My thoughts about last night were still fuzzy.

The smell of tea and a plate of cold breakfast is laid out before me, but my attention is elsewhere. How much did I oversleep? Yet, better question was simply, how? I stare at the breakfast he prepared. I stare at the change in my fortunes in my hand. It was only a rushed projection Archer made and he didn't seem satisfied at all with his handiwork, but it was still an example of a multi-dimensional refractory phenomenon. Looking at the crystal blade, I knew if that if I tried to recreate it, I would run out of money a quarter of the way if I was being optimistic about my family's funds. Kirei really….

"Besides, aren't you a cheater yourself? What are the laws of equivalent exchange to you?"

An archer adept at housework, sword fighting, cooking and smithing? Quite the list of abilities, but none describe a hero I know of.

"I appreciate the praise, but I can't say I was even a magus by any stretch of the imagination. I"m a maker, not a user, scholar or engineer. That thing in your hands, I honestly can't even begin to understand how I would use it," is what he tells me as he ponders something with that uncertain tone.

He might have held it before? Well, if his mage-craft is his Noble Phantasm, then it's understandable. In the end, the actual abilities of a hero in life are irrelevant compared to the people's perception of that hero.

A heroic spirit derives their power, their Noble Phantasm from the mystique of that perception. Heracles overcame 12 trials that should have killed him in his legend, so his Noble Phantasm grants him 12 extra lives as a heroic spirit. If Archer was a legendary smith believed to be able to craft any sword, then his Noble Phantasm would be exactly that despite whatever actual proficiency he had in life if he existed at all. Even though he knows nothing of the Second True Magic, he was able to produce an example of it simply because it was sword shaped.

"And I thought magi were supposed to be cheaters."

In the end, the nature of magi are of cheaters, but heroic spirits were something else. To practice mage-craft was to rebel against the natural law of things, but to be a hero was to do the impossible. I was tempted to pry more into my Servant's identity, but considering I had already gotten what I had wanted out of him, asking for more was just tempting fate considering all the other things that have went wrong these past few days. They were only starting to go right….

It was quiet, but that shouldn't be the case. That brat who was used to living in castles was now living here and surely she didn't strike me as someone that can stay still if her antics at school yesterday are anything to go by. She must have left the house. Was she going to antagonize the Emiya siblings again? Well, that encounter with Sakura must have at least made her less brazen….Who am I kidding? We'll probably need to bail her out again.

"If you're wondering about Berserker's Master, then she left the house an hour ago," is what my Servant confesses.

That girl didn't like being tailed. Her Berserker, Heracles, the greatest of Greek Heroes was still apprehensive about my Archer. Probably didn't agree completely with what was done to "free" him of that shadow yesterday. Well, considering Archer is still trying to feign amnesia, hiding his true name from me, his Master, logically dictates that I should be apprehensive too. I had 2 command spells, but I wasn't really sure if they would prove useful against Archer.

If he was able to project something like the gem sword of all things, I wouldn't be surprised if he could project some sort of contract severing dagger. The ability to "project any sword" is just too vague and he has projected plenty of things that are not swords. Emiya, his counterfeit was able to project that shield of light in our first encounter, so who knows what's up Archer's sleeves? The journey to the closing days can't be anything but troublesome. I can only continue to ask him things he'll be certain to answer.

"Archer, where did she run off to?"

"Off trying to pawn off that thing you pawned on her, but what was that thing anyways?" was the question he asks me.

I enter the living room, looking around, there were clearly signs of clean up. A lot of clean up. Holes here and there. It seems Archer had a lot of things to do other than preparing breakfast. Archer could recreate the gem sword, but he had to fix the house with a hammer and nails? Guess he wasn't a famous carpenter or else his Noble Phantasm would have covered it. I finish the last bites of my breakfast sandwich, pocketing the gem sword and quickly dawn my red coat, before making my way out the door as my head clears up. I run past the houses and wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't a magus, but I dismiss the thoughts. Another day of cleaning I suppose.

Pawned on her? Well, if I took out the blueprints for the gem sword last night, then….it had to be….

* * *

_"It seems you had quite the hobby, so does this box contain your family's dark history or something?" were that little devil's words, but it seemed she was holding onto something worse than the devil. Well, it should be inactive so I shouldn't have to worry about anything. I wanted to tell her to put it down carefully, but she brushes the tacky pink star wand against her hair to clear out the dust and the twigs from the Einzbern forest._

_"This blood, this blood….tastes off….." was that synthetic, yet natural sounding voice from my nightmares. Was her ear scuffed or did that cross shaped pommel draw blood?_

_Oh no._

_The ominous glow that cuts through the world. That glow that naturally draws our eyes to it. A red glow even worse than the glow of Berserker's eye. It was something that didn't belong to this world, but neither are the Servants in this Holy Grail War. If I'm to win against heroes of legend, then this thing in front of me shouldn't…...but that giggling…...that giggling….._

_"Six years…...six years…...six years…..you've grown up Rin! …..That's a shame….…but who's this you brought me? Boys or girls, it never really mattered to you, but..." that thing says with that chilling enthusiasm._

_"It talks?" is the little devil's faked exasperation at the cursed artifact that was twisting around her palm. The red beady orbs meet red beady orbs._

_"Sorry, sorry, but you must be my new master! Nice to meet you. I'm the Kaleidostick of Love and Justice, Magical Ruby!" was what it introduced itself as, but there was no love or justice to be found in that thing. That thing doesn't understand human feelings, despite its knack for manipulating human feelings._

_"If a little blood is all you need to register as a master…..that's some lousy security," was the little white haired devil's ignorance. Better her than me right? No that was irresponsible. That isn't the Tohsaka way. Be elegant. I fill my lungs with air. I was going to warn her, well, I was at least contemplating it, but Ruby makes its next move._

_"So, where did Rin kidnap you from? Are you her apprentice…... or perhaps…...heheheh," is that ominous giggle._

_"What are you insinuating?" was Illyasviel questioning the obvious. It's fine when you insinuate unsavory things, but it's a different story when someone else does it? Are you related to Shinji? Are you seriously playing along with that thing? She tries to pry her hand off the handle, but Ruby won't let her._

_"Don't talk to it. It won't end well," is my warning, but it falls on deaf ears. Illyasviel continues to stare in interest and wonder at the unusual thing. If only she knew what that thing truly was, but she was sure to find out soon._

_"Well, when it comes to boys or girls, I always suspected Rin was fine with either, but looking at you, it seems my tastes must have rubbed off on her somehow, but it's unfortunate for you isn't it? A girl with no where to go, no name, no family nor home…...stuck with that old hag…...but don't worry, you're my master now.."_

_Is that brat really getting flustered over something like that? She's more innocent than she appeared to be then. The smell of magical energy. She was calling her Servant to her side._

_"I have a name and it's Illyasviel von Einzbern and my Servant is Berserker, not you!" is that shrill cry._

_Blood, contact, "love" and a name are the terms of contract or something Ruby insists are the terms, but my mind blanks out as the world turns pink..._

_"The new Kaleido Ruby Prisma Illya is born!.." is that giddy voice that never knows when to stop and as Illyasviel's giant guardian appears to snap that stick in two, I worry for my home._

* * *

"The Kaleidostick, Magical Ruby….," were the words a bluntly spit out as I walk down the empty streets as everybody else had already gotten to work or school. So that's why the living room was...in the state that it was. I had ignored the ruckus last night and locked myself in my room to test out the gem sword's functionality.

The gem sword blueprints could be called our family treasure, but it was locked away inside that special treasure box along with …..Magical Ruby, which to be honest couldn't really be called a treasure. Though it was a magical wand with the same capabilities of the gem sword and many other  _extraneous_ functions; it was difficult to see it as anything else but a cursed item that was pawned off on us. Still, I didn't pawn it on her, Ruby latched onto her on its own. At least I won't have to deal with Ruby is that small reassurance enough to put a smile on my face.

"...You're sending me mixed messages right now," were the words of my guardian ghost that mundanes could not see tailing behind me.

"It's one of the most powerful mystic codes of the modern era created by the Wizard Marshall, user of the Second Sorcery our family owes everything to."

"Still sending me mixed messages here," is my Servant's way of playing dumb. In some ways, he and that sentient wand were alike. I wanted to avoid walking into a trap if possible.

"So, after witnessing what happened last night, do you think Ruby is some sort of masterpi….to put it simply, it's the the Kaleidostick that Zelretch didn't want. The  _failed first attempt_...or Sapphire's older sister as it likes to puts it."

"So they come in a pair..," was Archer's takeaway because he doesn't say anything more as I pound the pavement. A pair? If Emiya derived his power from the spirit I was contracted to, then were those two swords that he always uses the key to figuring out Archer's identity? Well, that comes later. I fling my Amethyst into the air and let the resulting crystalline owls search from the sky, hidden in the sun's light.

Target of interest spotted.

I leap into Archer's arms and he takes to the air.

* * *

The Rin in my memories was always cost conscious, but that "sword" I projected for her must have made her feel rich. Despite being well off, Rin was someone who always felt poor, but that's the result of practicing gem-craft. To be fair, the research of any magus is bound to be expensive. Gems were quite frankly one of the tamest of the consumables I had encountered in my life as Emiya Shirou.

Human sacrifice.

That "KaleidoStick", that thing that called itself "Ruby", I wouldn't be surprised if "Ruby" wasn't some malevolent spirit of the sacrificial victim, but the Wizard Marshall wasn't such a person despite being a dead apostle. That old man in all intents and purposes was an ally of humanity, a hero that surpassed the moon. As a guardian of balance, the concept of time was meaningless to me and as such my memories for the most part were an incomprehensible mess, but his sword was clearly recorded somewhere within my Reality Marble. That was why I was able to project his sword for Rin after glancing at the blueprints I couldn't really understand. For one who was never a proper mage, it was useless to me, but Rin, whose ancestor was chosen by that man was a different story.

In humanity's pursuit for progress, to gain what they desired, throughout history and folklore, humans have always concluded that human sacrifice was unavoidable, directly or indirectly. It can't be ignored that many of the conveniences modern humans in developed countries enjoy were adapted from military technology. Canned goods and microwaves were such conveniences, but I tried to avoid them as there were things I will not compromise even after forsaking my ideals. It was conflict that pushed the field of metallurgy to its limits in the heat treatment of swords, armor and eventually gun chambers a scholar must have proposed, but…

Kanshou and Bakuya.

Ancient Chinese swords. Crafted for the sake of crafting. Swords without vanity or purpose. The lack of decor had a utilitarian appeal to them that I'm sure even my foster father would have understood, but the story behind them was something he wouldn't have enjoyed.

_Gan Jiang was ordered to forge an imperial sword by the King of Wu, yet he came up short. He could not forge a sword that that would suffice with his own power. That was why his wife Mo Ye threw herself into the furnace, burning her life away to feed the flames of the forge. From those flames, a pair of identical swords was forged._

One black and the other white.

The sister I didn't know and the sister I didn't know enough of.

"Miyu" and "Illya".

Rin's familiars had spotted them in the park and now we spy on them from a nearby rooftop as they sit side by side on the swings with fish shaped pastries in hand. It should have been a precious scene, but I knew that was wishful thinking. My Master says nothing, only watching them because Saber was watching us from one of the few trees in the park in the most conspicuous manner as she tries to swat the winged wand "Ruby" away.

" A lion stuck in a tree? Well, lions are just big cats after all. Are you sure you can get down? Need help? Need a push?" was that lively artificial voice that escaped no pair of lips that I was somehow able to read.

Kings always had trouble concealing their presence, but Saber was on another level. Even the mad giant Illya commanded was better at hiding, but that was because he had the luxury of a spiritual form like me. I was having trouble keeping my composure. Dressed like a cartoon lion, holed up in a tree, my lips couldn't help but quiver. Was this some sort of strategy "Miyu" had devised? Well, it mattered not because our position was already compromised as the roof of the house we were perched on provided no cover. Saber's intuition guaranteed that she would spot us. We focus our eyes on that empty playground save for two.

The one that was kept and the one that was not.

_When Gan Jiang was ordered to present what he had produced, only Bakuya, named after his wife was presented. Kanshou, the smith had kept hidden away from his employer. In the end, his deception was discovered and the blacksmith was put to death. Even though separated, the two swords were destined to meet._

"Hey, if that's the case, can you tell me why Kiritsugu chose to keep you and not me?" was that ominous melancholy smile from the white haired girl from my memories.


	18. Miyu's Dilema

 

* * *

_All things end. Nothing lasts forever. There was no empire that stood the test of time no matter how great. The same story repeats over and over again. Long ago, in turbulent times, there was a girl who lived with her father and her older brother. To protect others. To live righteously. It was hard to say if she was raised as such or such things were natural to her. Nonetheless, in her era, those that protected the weak like her father and her older brother before her were called_ _**Knights** _ _. In order to catch up, to stand beside, to surpass, she swung her sword without rest, always gazing forward beyond the horizon. Her country was headed to certain ruin and no mere knight alone could save it. The only thing that could save a country was a king._

_So, it was only natural that she become that king. To become the_ _**King of Knights** _ _._

_The feelings she harbored, whatever they were didn't matter at all once she pulled the sword from the stone and claimed her birthright. The harsh truth was that she shared no blood with the one she called her brother. Within her blood flowed something beyond human and by drawing the sword of selection, she had relinquished her humanity along with her human feelings. To the plotting witch who possessed the same inhumanity within her, her younger sister did not deserve the throne._

* * *

A slip of paper in my shoe locker. I take the small folded piece into my hands and my eyes go red. I see it, the image of a park assaults my head. A piercing migraine. A looming apartment building composed of nothing but rectangles. Sparse trees whose bare branches could be seen. A lamp post in the center. A slide, a sandpit and swings, but there are  _no children_. A strong grip on my shoulder brings me back to reality.  _I didn't die._

"Master….are you alright?" was Saber's voice, ringing like a bell.

"It's nothing," I say.

She eyes my clenched fist and the sweat on my brow. She knows I was hiding something, but it was then, her eyes shift to the teacher behind her. With what Saber wore, it was hard to miss her, but we haven't had an opportunity to shop for clothes. Throughout yesterday, people simply assumed that Saber was simply petitioning to change the school mascot to a lion when she would inevitably argue about the appeal of lions to the uninformed masses until everyone realized that she wasn't a student. She had a face that couldn't be forgotten after all.

"We turned a blind eye yesterday, but who is this person exactly Miss Emiya and what is her relation to you?" was the question that wasn't asked yesterday.

I respond truthfully.

"My Servant."

The teacher mumbles a bit. I was someone who always stated fact as best as I knew it. That was always the quickest way to reach a conclusion, though people would always look at me funny. I never really understood it.

"I see…," was his response before walking away while clearing his throat. The situation was defused, but Saber gave me a concerned look.

"Master, was that wise?" was the question Saber asks of me.

"I simply stated fact and that sufficed," were my words as I looked her right in the eyes.

"I see…," was her response. She closes her eyes for a moment before telling me with this, "I don't sense any enemy Servants, but I'll scout out ahead Master."

I could deduce her intention.

"If you see Tohsaka-senpai, don't attack."

"You have faith in everyone's adherence to rules, but it seems I still have not gained your trust," were Saber's words I didn't want to hear.

"It isn't anything like that."

"No, that just means that there are areas I need to improve. I wish you luck with your classes," were the words she leaves me with.

With Caster dispatched yesterday, there was little worry about familiars, only enemy Servants and with the exception of Assassin, there was no way Saber couldn't sense them if they were at school. I try to relax, to take my thoughts away from the Holy Grail War, but it wasn't that easy.

I enter homeroom.

* * *

The school bell rings and homeroom begins. I couldn't pay attention at all. The slip of paper in my pocket lingers in my mind. I unfurl it and scan the contents, or lack of them.

A rough sketch, a rough map and rougher words.

" _I have a present for you, Miau. ˁ⁽͑˙˚̀ˆ̇˚́˙⁾̉ˀ"_

Words scrawled with a sense of unfamiliarity that indicated the sender was either young, a foreigner or both. I didn't need to guess who had sent it. The sender was someone that couldn't be ignored. The sender was someone I couldn't ignore. If I tried to ignore her, she would inevitably come for me and my brother would inevitably come between us to protect me from her. She had visited the school yesterday. I stare around the classroom and notice some people were missing.  _Sakura didn't visit us this morning._ I couldn't sit still at all. I raise my hand.

"Sensei, something has come up."

"If it's you, there's no need to ask," was the standard response.

I stand up from my desk and leave. Hushed whispers. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary for me or those around me.

" _She doesn't even need to attend class to ace those exams anyways, little miss perfect."_

I walk down the halls and map out the path in my head. I needed to stop making mistakes. The things I couldn't do for dad. The things my brother had to do for me to protect the life I was living right now.  _The things other people go through because of me._ Those were things I couldn't ignore anymore. Over the years, I had learned that being happy wasn't the only reason people smiled and that smiling wasn't a guaranteed sign that someone was happy. My father and my brother always had those tired eyes…..

" _A kid's job is to study, so that you can help others when you're grown up,"_ was the advice Taiga had given me when she was still studying to be a teacher. My father and my brother didn't refute it back then.

That was the path I have walked up until now, but even though it wasn't wrong, it wasn't enough. One day, dad had simply passed away without reason and I buried myself in a medical textbook after the fact. I couldn't let something like that happen again. I couldn't ignore what other people were hiding. That's why I pestered my brother about his nightly patrols. Day after day and he finally caved in and taught me mage-craft. He also gave me 7 cards. Cards I didn't completely understand, but I was able to use them. To use oneself as a vessel, to displace one's existence with a heroic spirit. A high form of Flash Air.

As the years go by, the one thing remains constant: I didn't know enough. Regardless of how much he was hiding from me, my brother didn't know everything either. The white haired girl who was our sister was a complete unknown to him. A girl who was a vessel capable of granting wishes…...to grant wishes…...like the wish I granted myself that day….

Problems aren't solved by ignoring them.

I give the order.

" _Saber, meet me at the roof."_

" _Understood," was the word that rang out in my head._

As I reach the roof of the school, Saber is there fully armored presenting her back. She already understood my unease. She already understood my intent.

"Before we go into battle with Berserker's Master, shouldn't you inform Shirou first?" was the unavoidable question. With each Master commanding a hero of legend, battle was an inevitability, but...

"It won't be a battle. Only a negotiation," is the wish I make. My brother's presence would only complicate things.

She doesn't say anything more. I saw glimpses of the path Saber had walked in my dreams, but that did not mean I knew what path to take. All I knew was that Illyasviel was not someone I could afford to ignore. Though Saber's frame was small, I was even more so. I mount her back and we take off. The invisible air that sheathed her sword shields us from the turbulence.

* * *

With Saber following close behind me, we walk down the streets. The housewives that pass us by give us funny looks which was odd. Was it my school uniform or the pajama Saber was wearing? Though Saber is dressed like a lion, she wasn't the only one oddly dressed. We pass by someone dressed up as a giant sea bream handing out samples of taiyaki. Fish shaped pancakes filled with red bean paste, but oddly enough, they contained no fish. The reason they took on such a shape was because historically, red sea bream was a luxury food reserved for festivals. By imitating the shape, a simple snack cake becomes something more.

I didn't retrieve my bento from earlier, so I didn't have any food with me. Our fridge was also running low. We didn't do any grocery shopping these past few days nor did we buy Saber a less conspicuous outfit, but first things first.

I step by the taiyaki stand and give the order.

"3 bags please."

I pay the price, as a result, I'm handed the bags and I give 2 to Saber who quickly empties them as we walk. I knew from the start that the gesture wasn't enough. Only a few more intersections until our destination. Saber was going along with what I wanted even though it was clearly against her interests. If what the priest said about the grail was true, about Illyasviel becoming the Holy Grail, then….Saber who seeks the grail may become my enemy.

"Am I being foolish?" is the question that slips from my mouth.

"Maybe, but I can't say your decision is without merit," is what Saber says to me. I couldn't see Saber as a bad person.

"How would have dad approached such a situation?"

"The mere fact you are discussing this with me is more than I can say about that man, but if Illyasviel is in fact his daughter, I cannot say. I never understood that man to the very end," is Saber's honesty. I was tempted to tell her what the priest told me. Saber deserves more, but I stop myself.

"I never really understood him either to be honest."

For the first time in my life, I did not simply state the fact.

We make our way past the buildings and a weak bounded field. Tucked away in the corner was that small patch of park that matched the one that I saw. It was a place I had ceased to visit years ago, but it wasn't empty. Slipping down the slide was the girl who called me her "little sister" despite being the same height….dressed up in a pink frilly dress? She falls into the sand head first. It seemed she was genuinely surprised at my arrival.

"You actually came?" was her exclamation as she brushes the sand out of her hair, but her expression sours when she sees Saber beside me.

"That's no good Illya! From one older sister to another. You need to…." was a strange slightly synthetic voice I didn't recognize, but before I could ponder more, that voice is cut off.

Crack!

That was the noise that was made when the pink wand in her hand struck the side of the slide.

"That's cruel! That's not what a magical girl…." was that voice again that never got to finish once again.

Crack!

Saber readies herself ready to pounce and Illya readies her star topped wand.

"Isn't my little sister a more suitable magical girl? Just look at the way she makes Saber dress!"

The wand bends and flexes as if alive, its beady little red ornaments fixed on us.

"Is this a bad time?" I ask her.

The wand is thrown at me, but Saber pounces, catching it mid air and smashes it against the ground with her paw. No explosion. No trick. I stare at the wriggling thing and could have sworn it said, "that's not a proper beast mode! If you contract with me," but Saber presses it against the earth until it was beneath the ground where no sound could escape except for incomprehensible mumbles.

"So you're not ecstatic about my present?" is the perplexing thing my "older sister" asks me. Was that talking wand supposed to be a gift?

I bow.

"I'm sorry I didn't think of bringing a gift. All I have with me is some taiyaki."

I present the brown bag in front me. With the way she was dressed, I couldn't get a clear read on her personality. A peace offering, however small was worth a try.

"Aren't you going to come closer?" is my big sister's taunt.

The great pressure behind the white haired girl was something I couldn't ignore. Anyone with a little magical potential would notice such a thing.

"Saber would advise me not to get too close to your Berserker."

She puts her index finger to her lips and turns to the invisible thing behind her.

"Yes, that would be a problem. Berserker, take to the building and act as lookout. Don't let anyone bother us," is her command and the giant obliges with a leap. The gust of wind blinds my eye for a second. Saber tenses up, uncertain of the choice of action, she looks to me.

"Saber, take to that tree and do the same," is my command. She closes her eyes for a moment to think, but she obliges without a word, while tightly gripping the star tipped wand.

"Be careful," were the words she leaves me with.

Illyasviel takes to the swings and smiles at me while patting down the seat beside her. I couldn't read her, but that was why I had to move forward. I take the seat beside her. We sit side by side, but she does not turn her head to face me.

"So you actually came," was a conclusion she didn't quite believe herself before taking the conversation forward, "was the map hard to read?"

"I didn't read it. I simply had memories of this place….," but my words stop. I turn to her and her eyes were digging into me.

"You actually got caught in that cheap trick?" was her reaction, full of disbelief. What was she surprised about?

"What was the reason you called me out?"

"Well, girls your age as I've been told are into things like "magical girls", but that stupid stick might just be lying. Still, while you're here, I want to know your relation to that Makiri girl," is the name that the Einzbern girl drops as she suddenly changes to subject without any regard to me. Einzbern, Tohsaka and Makiri. The three families involved in the Holy Grail War according to the overseer I saw yesterday.

"Makiri?"

"You don't know? So they keep you in the dark don't they? Matou is their naturalized name….What was her name again? Sakura?..." were her words I didn't let her finish. My hand quivers. I was about to reach out for the cards in my pocket, but I control myself. I calm myself down.

"I see..."

She smiles as she was able to get a momentary rise out of me.

"So someone like you can get angry. Well, my temper isn't that good either. My maids always chastise me for that, but who is Sakura to you?" was a question I never really thought too hard on.

Sakura was a family friend for a good half a decade at this point, but before all of that, she appeared one day out of the blue. I never thought too hard about who she was, but if one thing was true about her was that she liked my big brother, so she couldn't have been a bad person. That's why I didn't like the tone she was taking. I didn't like what she was implying. For that reason, there is only one answer.

"A friend."

Illyasviel is taken aback for a second, but her next words contain undeniable venom, "a friend, huh? Then, that might prove to be a problem."

There was undeniable venom in those words, but I didn't understand the context behind them.

"You see, I have maids. They're names are Sella and Leysritt. They're annoying, but they're supposed to be mine," is her offhand comment.

"So you aren't alone?" is the question I ask.

Illyasviel was not alone. That was the fact I was able to pick up in that one sentence. That fact alone relieved me for a moment, but that was my mistake.

"Why did you smile just now?" the white haired girl beside me taking on a dangerous expression.

I needed to defuse the situation. I turn my gaze at the bag of taiyaki between us. They were getting cold. I take one of the fish shaped pastries and offer it to her. She sniffs it a bit.

" _Is this for cats?"_  was that barely audible murmuring. Cautious at first, but she takes a large bite to get it over with. She bites into it without contemplating at all if it was poisoned or not. I saved her life in our first encounter, so she understands I don't want to hurt her at the very least.

"Sweet, but….are these beans?" she exclaims after chewing and swallowing.

Did it taste strange? I take one out of the bag and take a bite as well. I didn't find anything odd.

"Nothing unusual."

"Nothing unusual? A snack cake with beans is not unusual?" she asks dumbfounded.

Of course. She wasn't used to the local food, but our local food wasn't strange.

"Beans are a legume just like peanuts and peanuts are also used in sweets just as tree nuts are, so such a combination isn't strange."

"Next you'll tell me that there is no difference between walnuts and wingnuts like papa did," she says after taking another bite. Even though she thought taiyaki to be a bit strange, she continued to eat it. Stuffing her cheeks enthusiastically like a small animal. At this moment, she looked like any other girl.

She was the same height as me and looked to be around the same age, but she uttered "papa" with a venomous familiarity.

"You've met papa before?"

I had to confirm it.

"Of course. I met him before you were born. That's what makes me the older sister," is what Illyasviel states as an immutable fact. "Really now, it seems you don't know much of anything and I thought you were supposed to be a smart girl."

Smart girl? I have never thought of myself as such. No matter how much I tried to learn, there were always things I would miss. Things that weren't small at all. A smart girl would have realized dad's condition right away. A smart girl wouldn't worry her older brother so much. A smart girl would have realized what her older sister was angry about. A smart girl would always know the right words to say. If only I was a smart girl.

"I can tell you that I'm not anything special."

That was the simple truth.

"Hey, if that's the case, can you tell me why Kiritsugu chose to keep you and not me?" was the question she asks, the same question I was asking myself all of last night. The minutes pass by without me saying a word. I stare at the taiyaki in my hands. She stares at me and I give my best educated guess.

"He didn't get to choose."

Dad would always take trips overseas and come back tired, more so than usual. Despite how tired he was, he never stopped going overseas. Maybe that was one of the reasons why I never noticed his worsening condition, but that was just a flimsy excuse. Kiritsugu never stopped thinking about his daughter Illyasviel. That was the reason why he was always pained when we were together because I wasn't her.

"Are you admitting that you did something to his head? Just like dear onii…" were words that left her lips, but she doesn't finish. Her hand rests on my cheek.

"Are you crying?" were not her words of comfort. Despite wiping away my tears, she was angry with me.

I feel a quick tug and when I register my surroundings once again, the swings were distant. Saber was behind me fully armored.

"Illyasviel, what did you do to my Master?" is Saber's voice cutting through the distance.

Berserker materializes in front of us to shield his Master from our view. Our Servants ready their weapons, but no one makes a move. The star tipped wand was once again in Illyasviel's hands, but that was simply another thing to the list of things she was displeased with right now for reasons I didn't understand at the time.

"So this talk was just a waste of time…we're leaving Berserker," were her departing words without a proper goodbye.


	19. Illya's Confliction

 

* * *

"Are you admitting that you did something to his head? Just like dear onii…," is the accusation I couldn't finish.

Tears.

Even though my little sister's gaze was unwavering, tears stream down her face. Tears she doesn't even notice. Tears that couldn't have been faked. I hated it. Those tears are wiped away and it was then I realize it was my hand that was wiping them. I stare at my damp fingers.

" _Illya.."_

I remember his face. Black hair and unkempt stubble. That man who was my father. That man who always cheated at games. That man who couldn't keep the simplest of promises. That man who was always on the verge of tears.  _That man who didn't come back._

The wetness of my hands was no illusion. I didn't want to believe, but the truth was in front of me. Living the life that I was denied, was that small share of happiness such a cheap, fragile thing _?_ Was the family I was denied ultimately something worthless?

How stupid. How stupid.

"Are you crying?" is what I was finally able to ask with such a harsh tone that it surprised even me. It wasn't something I needed to confirm, but I was compelled to ask anyway.

Maybe I wanted to hear screams. Maybe I wanted to see blood. Maybe I wanted to see tears, but not tears like these. I was angry, but I could not bring myself to hate her which made me even angrier because I didn't know who or what I was angry at.

I wanted to slap the melancholy out of her, but I missed my chance. Before I could even blink, a sand cloud is kicked up, Berserker appears in front of me as Saber had pulled my little sister away from the swings; away from me. Was my hostility so obvious or was it a warrior's intuition?

My guardian stares down at hers. Saber could only stare up at my Heracles because she was barely taller than me _._  Primal eyes meet regal ones. Even though the little knight was descended from dragons, my guardian was descended from gods. Dragons were nothing; at most, a minor inconvenience when grocery shopping for golden apples if those dreams were to be believed.

"Illyasviel, what did you do to my Master?" is Saber's voice cutting through the distance. A voice so clear, it cuts through my frustration. I calm down and realize how unbecoming I was acting.

Just as my guardian stares down hers, I stare at her and she meets my gaze with that sad face. She hasn't lost anything yet and she makes that face.

Berserker answered my call for the Holy Grail just like your Saber. If I wasn't the Lesser Vessel for the Holy Grail, there would be no meaning for Sella and Leysritt to serve me. The people around us only care about the Holy Grail. Papa was like that too; that was the only reason he married Mama wasn't it?  _Even though he threw it away like yesterday's trash._ That was my entire life, our fates are tied, but you up until now were able to live a life beyond such a petty thing.

Papa has been gone for years for both of us, yet you still have a brother that cares for you, a brother who cares nothing for the Holy Grail.  _That Makiri girl too._  To them, this Holy Grail War has only been a nuisance hasn't it?

For every person that is able to bask in happiness, there are many more who simply can't.  _Sweet child._ I stand on 1000 years of Einzbern sacrifices and yet, you stand over me. Beneath you were all the victims in the last Holy Grail War; all of papa's victims. Standing on that peak, blessed by so many people; a winner like you should at least be as happy as all of us losers combined.  _That life of yours can't be trash, so why are you already crying? If you're already miserable, what more can I do to you? What am I supposed to be doing?_ I didn't know the answer. I was frustrated. I was angry. I tried my best to smile when she made that face last time, but getting a closer look at it, it didn't make me happy at all.

"So this talk was a failure…we're leaving Berserker."

I get up from the swings and my guardian dissipates as Saber stays her sword. My little sister based on her answers was completely in the dark about what happened to Sella and Leysritt among other things.  _If I stayed in the castle like they wanted, could I have stopped that Makiri girl?_ I thought teasing my supposed little sis would be fun, but I wasn't having any fun at all, though I admit the fish shaped pancakes filled with beans were quite tasty.  _Sella would have never let me taste any peasant fare._ I walk out of the park and that cry baby doesn't chase after me; she even urges Saber not to follow. The minutes pass and all around me are those tall garish rectangular buildings.

If something can be said about that cry baby was that she has only been honest with me; no strings attached which is more that could be said about papa. The Storch Ritter, my wire-frame birds I used to monitor the park return to me. I grasp at the strands tightly as they are unmade, I inhale and exhale, trying to process what I should be doing. I came to this country to participate in the Holy Grail War. To inflict retribution on the father that wronged the Einzbern family, the father that left  **me behind** , but that father wasn't here anymore. So all I could do was vent out on the kids  **he left behind**.

I realized then, that the person I was angry with was myself.

* * *

We walk down the empty streets of her neighborhood with our Servants in tow as the sun sets. While Berserker was in spiritual form, Archer was wearing a casual dress shirt with paper grocery bags in his arms. Even if the Holy Grail War is going on, there's no excuse for not having decent meals. I even got to try some strange salty pancakes with shrimp for lunch as Archer was shopping. Still, the currency in this country; someone really loves needlessly big numbers don't they? What're they compensating for? The only thing those big numbers accomplish is causing stingy people like Rin to groan. She made too big of a deal of me for not carrying any money. Honestly, she makes too big a deal about everything.

"So, I'm guessing you won't stop trying to harass your siblings any time soon is it?" is what Tohsaka asks of me once again just as my mood had improved.

"I just wanted to confirm your little sister's relation to mine this time," I say in a cheery tone.

Rin was frustrated and that was the cue for that annoying thing buzzing around us.

"So, is this an older sister's jealousy perhaps?…," is what the defective wand says trying to get a rise out of Rin.

Rin simply exhales. I thought she would be angrier, but it seems she had grown accustomed to things not going her way and accepted that fact.

"Did you actually try to pawn off Ruby?" is what Rin asks straight to the point.

"You were serious?" is what that wand inquires.

"This stick even with the second magic wouldn't help me hurt my little sister anyways."

"True, true. I'm an ally to all young girls, wait, what is this about hurting…..," is the obvious lie the stick makes, but we pay no heed to it.

"Well, if that Miyu was contracted with Ruby, it'd be harder for her to kill us," is Rin's perfectly valid point.

"Wait, this is that barbaric Holy Grail War isn't it? And the old coot said I was his worst mistake," is the stick's offhand comment about the Wizard Marshall. Well, even if you were created by the Wizard Marshall, you're completely useless as a weapon and we're stuck with you aren't we?

"I don't like that expression of yours," is what it says to me.

I grab the fluttering thing with both my hands and shoot it a smile. I ask it a question.

"Was there anything in my little sister you found lacking?"

"Twin tails," are the words it drops without hesitation trying to garner Rin's frustration. A small rise from that attempt, but no outburst. Though, I had to agree that Rin was too old to wear her hair the way she does.

"Hey, if that's the case, can you tell me why you chose to stick around me and not her?" was simply my curiosity.

"She doesn't seem as fun to tease, though Sapphire would beg to differ," is the stick's answer that shouldn't have surprised me.

I've confirmed it once again. My whole life is a joke, yet my mood now is better than it was before.

"Are you smiling?" is what Rin asks me.

"When nothing goes your way, you just learn how to smile at every little thing," is my advice as a proper adult. Not just accepting things with a sigh, but to smile through it. Grasp whatever small victory, whatever small happiness you can even if others say it's unsightly. My thoughts drift to that cry baby once again.  _That's the way it should be lil sis, yet today you denied me even that didn't you?_

"Hold up," is Archer's sudden warning. I could only sigh.

Nothing goes our way, so I wasn't surprised when Archer drew our attention to a figure in the distance situated on top of a building. Someone was watching us. Well, two Masters and two Servants walking together in broad daylight, it wouldn't be strange if we drew attention from the other contestants. I wasn't Archer's Master, so I couldn't see through his eyes.

"Sakura," is what Rin utters under her breath.

"Master, your orders," is what Archer asks of Rin.

Sakura was it? The face of that rude girl surfaces in my mind once again. That ribbon of hers too. That cry baby of a little sister doesn't know it yet, but I met that insufferable girl twice already. The first time was when I descended down those stairs. The second time was when she attacked my castle. To threaten me with violence, to attack my castle and take my maids away, that girl certainly was a bad person, so much so that I pity Rin. The seconds pass, but nothing happens.

"If you can shoot her then shoot her, you're an Archer right?"

"Don't order my Servant around," was Rin's distressed outburst.

"A true magical girl shouldn't say such brutish things," was Ruby's.

"She's no longer in my sight," is the bit of bad news Archer delivers.

Rin grips the jeweled dagger in her pocket tightly. The shadows her little sister possessed were formidable, the natural enemy of spiritual entities, but that was why Rin sought out the gem sword even if it meant dealing with Ruby; something that could gather copious amounts of mana from other worlds. There aren't many problems that can't be solved with an unrelenting torrent of pure mana. It's the same logic that the Einzbern Grail ultimately boils down to albeit on a much grander scale.

Whatever Noble Phantasms that Sakura girl could leisurely throw around, I had seen first hand how the Archer Rin had luckily drawn could counter them.  _He was also a better cook than my maids._ Despite all her grumbling, Rin has quite the luck doesn't she? Right now, Rin actually has a decent match up against her little sister. If I know that, then that Sakura girl certainly knows that, which is why she's keeping her distance especially in Rin's territory.

Still, I thought the Makiri were supposed to be known for their familiars. If she's scouting us with her own two eyes instead of her shadows, what sort of magus is that Makiri girl? The magi in this city are certainly unconventional to say the least. That explains why Rin is the Second Owner; she's the most  **average one**  of all those I have seen in this city despite being so soft hearted.

We enter the grounds of the Tohsaka manor and we go inside. On a second look, the defenses do look quite lavish which doesn't suit my image of Rin at all.

* * *

Omelette rice seems like a simple dish, but I still can't wrap my head around how he shaped the eggs even though I watched him do it. Simple things are deceptively simple. The melding of sour, sweet and salty. Despite the raging flames of the stove, nothing was burned and nothing was overcooked. Not the eggs or the dark meat of the chicken. Nothing was wet, yet nothing was dry. Even though lunch was tasty, dinner was on another level. As I look at Rin from across the table, she was probably regretting lunch right now. If Archer could cook at this level, then going out to eat was a waste. Having no need for food, but is able to cook, those are quite the attributes for a Servant.  _Archer's bathing in the moon right now, keeping lookout on the roof as we eat._ As the last bites are taken, Rin's mood must've changed for the better.

Throughout our partnership, Rin did nothing but admonish me. If her mood is good right now, then there was a lower chance of her getting defensive if I ask her something.

"Why do you seek the Holy Grail? You're not going to wish for something like money are you?"

"I'm a Tohsaka, that's reason enough. Isn't it the same for you Einzbern?" is the response that suggested to me that she had no wish in mind. I was a bit peeved.

"I can't accept such a boring answer," I declare with my finger outstretched.

"She's being dishonest, she really is going to wish for money if she gets her hands on th.," is what Ruby chimes in before being slammed into the dining table.

"My father fought and died in the last Holy Grail War just as your father, the Magus Killer fought. In fact, there's a good chance that my father is dead because of yours," was that poison that left Tohsaka's mouth that parried my finger pointing.

Obligation to her family. To honor those that came before. Such are things that typical magi adhere to, but despite being the most conventional magus in this city, I couldn't imagine her as one those types. In my case, I never had a choice. I was made into a Lesser Grail Vessel while I was still developing in the womb. As such, my magical potential dwarfs any human, but nice things always come with a cost.  _Which makes my lil sis a cheater._ Even when papa was still around, growing up was never an option for me. When papa was gone and when I was tuned even further; it was then that the prospect of any future at all disappeared.

I fight in the Holy Grail War because there is no where else for me to be and nowhere to return to;  _unlike that cry baby_. That fact doesn't change even with Berserker at my side.

With or without this Holy Grail War, Rin's future is bright. With that jeweled sword that Archer recreated in her pocket, she has already benefited more from this Holy Grail War than any supposed "winner" of rituals past. Whatever she was seeking, it was obvious it wasn't worth the life of her own little sister judging from her hesitation from earlier. In many ways, Rin is the same as my lil sis. Her father chose her over that "Sakura" to succeed him. Even if I can't forgive that Makiri girl, that girl is the same as me; something tossed aside by our own fathers. Fathers like that are typical for magi, yet...

"Is your father's honor really worth spilling blood for? You're the only proper Tohsaka left aren't you?"

"Is your father's dishonor really worth spilling blood for? There's only one of you in this world," is Tohsaka's comeback.

"Only one of me in this world?" was something I desperately wished to be true. The other homunculi had always assured me that I was special and that I was the last hope of the Einzbern, yet coming here to this land, it all seems like a lie. I was the Lesser Grail Vessel, but so was that Makiri girl. Even if the Einzbern could not create another me, they could always recycle my corpse just like what that old Zolgen had done to my mother's. Magi will always find a way to accomplish their goals even if it's unsightly.

"The world is just another word for the things you value and it starts and ends with you. There must be things you alone value, otherwise you wouldn't be as  _outspoken_  as you are and I can't possibly imagine  _another_  you in this world at least," was Rin's attempt at scorning me or encouraging me?

"Is there a reason why you're being so nice to me?"

Well as nice as Rin could be. She offered me a place to stay and all I have done that is of note up to this point is harass those siblings of mine.

"I-it's not like that. I mean, having the greatest Hero of Greek mythology as an ally  _and not an enemy_ is just reassuring so putting up with you is no cost at all in the long run," is Rin's half truth.

"I'm sure my siblings or your sister would have made a more reliable ally," is the truth I couldn't help but admit at this point. Any typical magus would have sold me out already.

"You can thank Archer for that. Despite how he is, heroes are heroes. Someone who abandons women and children can't be called a hero can they?" is Rin's defense.

"So Archer was similar to my Berserker in that respect. Really now, Archer's kids must have been the luckiest kids of their era," I say as I finish up what was left on my plate.  _Still tasty._

I know for a fact that the children Heracles had couldn't have been called lucky. That was one of the reasons why he was so protective of me.  _What does Berserker see when he shields me? What does Archer see in me?_

"Archer didn't have any kids," is a truth Rin hesitantly divulges.

My spoon stops. It was a truth I couldn't fathom.

"Are you serious?"

"Always saving people. Always helping people. Always fighting. No lover. No family. Despite the way he talks, I drew quite the idiot didn't I?" is Rin's self derision.

Someone like that had no one to truly mourn for him and we asked someone like that to act as lookout. Even after knowing something like that, I still couldn't pinpoint that hero's identity. This world doesn't surprise me anymore.

At the very least, I wasn't angry at myself anymore.


	20. Shirou's Greed

* * *

 

I ran.

I ran without stopping. My heart was beating out of my chest. My legs burn, crying out for oxygen which my lungs couldn't supply quickly enough. My foot pounds the concrete and I am airborne. Scaling up walls, vaulting off roofs and sliding down rails are all actions that have become trivial to me over the years. With the sun up, I had no excuse not to be moving at the pace I was despite the occasional shout from a surprised onlooker down below. Below me is the shopping district of Miyama. I gambled on the fact that Miyu couldn't have travelled very far.  _Either that Illya girl called her out or Miyu figured out where she's staying…._

I scan the faces down below with my reinforced eyes and take in the familiar ones. Some of Raiga's men. Some middle aged housewives out bargain hunting. There weren't many people around. Kids should be in school at this time so Miyu shouldn't be hard to miss; especially so if Saber is with her.

Half an hour had passed.

No texts or calls and she doesn't respond to any of mine. My cellphone was completely silent and completely still throughout all of this.  _No signs of Servant combat._ Even if a tool could function, even if it was the best in its category, it was a paper weight if it wasn't used or couldn't be used. I lament at how limited in scope my mage-craft was.

As I move from building to building, I scan my surroundings and check if any familiars were watching. Whether they were cloaked with refracted light or masquerading as a mundane creature in the distance, the most troublesome were the trees that seemed to stare. I could easily break such things with my throwing swords, yet I couldn't hope to produce anything on their level. Even with reinforced eyes, with such narrow streets, I couldn't take in everything as I would have liked.

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

I almost botch my landing as I fumble around for my phone.

"Miyu, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm alright….," is what she says, but that tone indicated otherwise.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the words to ease her distress. She simply swallows her unease and cuts to the chase.

"Did you know….that Sakura was a Master?" is the truth she divulges.

Sakura was a Master. Sakura was a Magus. I had simply left her on that roof when I realized Miyu wasn't at school, but she got to Miyu before me _._

" _Gilgamesh. The King of Heroes. The strongest card without a doubt."_

She was involved in the Holy Grail War from the very beginning, but I already knew that from the start even if she didn't spell it out this morning.  _I knew that from the start, yet..._. My grip on the phone gets tighter and the outer shell seems to give.  _Sakura isn't an enemy….Miyu is unharmed….yet…._ I hear the sharp ringing of metal against metal.

"Where are you right now?" is the question I ask.

"In front of the sporting goods store," she answers with haste and my legs respond in haste.

* * *

I was scanning the wrong streets, but now that I knew where to look, it won't even take a minute, but that one minute felt like an eternity. I hear that familiar sound of singing metal and I quicken my pace.  _The sounds unnerve me, but silence now would unnerve me more._ I hold my breath as I scale down a back alley pipe and make a beeline to the small shack hoping no one was hurt. As I track the two clashing bodies, I felt someone's gaze and make the mistake of returning it.  _The years of peace have made me sloppy._ I was stopped in my tracks by a pair of jewels. My blood seemed to congeal and my lungs were getting stiff.  _Mystic eyes of petrification..._ My vision was fading and I would pass out soon to fall into a sleep from which I would never wake.  _Quite the impressive entrance I ended up making._  I ended up a hostage.

"Rider, don't hurt him!" could only be Sakura's voice.

Her voice brings me back to reality and the air back into my lungs, but I was still breathless. In front of me was the back of a blue track jacket draped over a frame smaller than mine. Jutting through her ball cap was a particular strand of blonde hair that could only belong to…..

"Don't look too closely," is the warning Saber gives to me.  _It's not a big deal, though she was probably referring to Rider.._

"Onii-chan?" is the voice that echoes from my side. I turn and look down as Amber orbs make contact with mine. I was reassured for a moment with the fact Miyu was unharmed, but that was only for a moment. Across from us was a tall masked woman who must have been the culprit behind that horrible sensation from earlier.  _Medusa, not Gilgamesh?_ Beautiful and imposing despite the horrible wounds that covered her body, but my focus is quickly stolen by the person behind her.

"Sakura…." is the name I managed to whisper to myself.

"Senpai, are you alright!?" she cried as she ran towards me.

My mind already rationalized it, but my heart wasn't ready it seemed.  _Did I ditch her earlier out of fear?_ I tried to harden my heart, but that only made it more brittle.  _I couldn't run from this._ Yet, as stressful it was for me, Miyu must have had it worse. I had years to warn her, to tell her the truth, yet I didn't say a thing.  _The instant I divulge the entire truth, this dream will end like it did back then, but waking up is always an inevitability._ I didn't say a thing, but wasn't that how it always was?

Nothing had changed. Nothing had changed at all. No, something did change,  _someone_  that made this situation more complicated than it had been.

"Don't move any closer!" is the command Saber shouts at Sakura before Rider rushes in between them only to be pounded into the pavement by the blunt of Saber's unseen blade. In a single breath, Rider lay on the ground and her hand had become a sword's pedestal.

The one who took me hostage became a hostage herself. The person she shielded was now facing the full brunt of Saber's judging eyes,  _while Saber was under mine._  I ready my favored swords in the forefront of my mind.

"It's regrettable. If you came clean from the beginning, we could have been allies, but as of now, I can't in good faith trust you around my Master," were the words Saber brandishes against the meek Sakura and Sakura goes pale i _n a literal sense._  For a moment, I could have sworn that her hair was an off white.  _Trick of the light?_ She meets Saber's gaze with ruby red eyes. Sakura was always kind to people, but beneath those eyes, Saber was no person.

"You came into our lives just a few days ago, yet you speak as if you know everything about us," were the words I couldn't have imagined coming from Sakura's mouth, but  _I agreed with them_.

"You've known my Master for years, but I'm sure this is the first time she has seen you for what you truly are," was the knight's rebuttal, but it doesn't phase Sakura at all. It doesn't phase me either, because at the back of my mind….

"What I truly am? What does that matter? Everyone has things they don't want to show others, everyone has things they want to hide, especially to those they care about.  _Especially for girls_. It was the same for you in life wasn't it,  _ **Miss**_   _Knight_?"

Saber doesn't say anything for a moment, but seeing Saber's unease, I attempt to diffuse the situation.

"Even though Miyu doesn't know it, I knew Sakura was involved in the Holy Grail War from the very beginning," was the simple truth that doesn't sit well with either Miyu or Saber.  _I should have prepared for this better._ Saber begins to speak,

"You knew...you knew,.. yet you let her in your house, you gave her a house key, you..," yet Saber couldn't find the right words as Miyu grips her branded hand as I grip non-existent handles.

"I..I..," was all Miyu could utter. There was something she wanted to say, but nothing could have prepared her for this moment.

Saber doesn't turn her head.

"Shirou, I may be a stranger to you, but your sister deserves an explanation and that isn't something I should be repeating," the knight lectures me once again without ever taking her eyes away from Sakura and Rider.

"I'm sorry, but know that Sakura isn't an enemy," was my gut response that only frustrates Saber further,  _but wasn't that sentiment that allowed Rider to catch me in the first place?_ I was certain such complicated situations weren't new for her with the ease in which she says the next words as she retracts her blade from Rider's hand.

"My Master considers you a friend and I'm sure her brother thinks of you as something more, so on this day I'm letting your Servant go free. Whether you have any ill will, whether you are being forced into this situation by someone else will not change what I will have to do if you turn out to be a threat..," is Saber's compromise as her unseen blade is sheathed. As cold as those words were, Saber was kinder than me. Rider hesitantly trusts those words as Sakura makes a gesture. She slowly retreats into the ether behind the Master she was so desperately defending, but that didn't mean she stopped watching us.

Despite those cold words, Sakura did not lose her upbeat energy as turns her face towards me.

"You know, I'm only here because you ran off to find Miyu and I simply ended up finding Miyu first with Rider's help," were words that ended with a slight melancholy. Sakura turns her head away from mine and I see that familiar back….

" _I love you, so I'll protect you," were words I couldn't ever forget._

As I reminisce on memories unforgotten, I realized I had already wrapped my arms around her. Her lavender hair brushes against my lips.

"Sorry…I," was my uncertain apology.  _I didn't want to let go. I didn't care how unsightly I looked._ This could very well be my first and final chance to embrace her like this.

"No. No. There's nothing for you to apologize for…..I was just surprised is all ...but that doesn't mean I'm unhappy about this," as her hands feel for mine. She doesn't reject them, but pulls them closer to her ample chest. I could feel the beating of her heart as it beat faster and faster in tandem with mine.

For all my thoughts of wanting to trust others, to trust Miyu, to trust Saber and especially Sakura, in the end, they were just passing thoughts. I never acted on them,  _but now it was rushing all out_. I was supposed to be an older brother and an upperclassman. A role model. I used to lecture Miyu on how to talk to people….

"If I was simply upfront about everything ...none of this would have….."

"As I said, everyone has things they want to hide and I had hid more things than you. Despite what lies we comfort each other with, the truth is that the world is cruel. Truths are cruel, but that's why lies are kind, so don't apologize for being kind," was Sakura's paradoxical statement, but her words did ease my heart a bit.

"So you don't mind liars?"

"It's mean to tease a girl's taste in men you know?" she says as she escapes from my arms to face me face to face. Her hands were still in mine. She was smiling, but I couldn't tell if it was faked.

"I'm your upperclassman. It's my duty to look out for any mistakes you might make," is the advice I give her.

"What's wrong with mistakes? This world we live in is the product of many happy mistakes. You, me, Miyu, we wouldn't have met without them," is the thing Sakura declares and it isn't something I could deny. The family I had now came to exist because other families had broken apart. If my parents were alive, if Miyu's parents were alive, if I had never met Kiritsugu…..no there must have been more to it than that.  _The reason why Kiritsugu adopted us….._

"So you really think kindness is a lie?"

"Just like justice and equality. Senpai, if you ground this Earth down to dust, you wouldn't be able to find a single grain of such things," were the cold things she utters with such warmth.

"Is that how you really see the world?…," I begin to say, but Sakura starts piling on things that weren't quite compliments.

"But that's exactly why humans are so amazing. They see this world and insist that there exists some ideal order within it, beyond what's immediately apparent. That there exists some universal justice by which the world can be judged. Why shouldn't it? The world takes place inside their head after all. To be able to weave lies more potent than truths...that's some admirable stupidity don't you agree?"

There exist feelings that can surpass the world. I cannot deny that, but there is something else that I can't deny either.

"Are you saying I'm an idiot?"

"Yes, you are, but even so or precisely because of that….," Sakura declares as she pulls me closer.

She hugs me tighter and she makes a confession.

"I love you," is what she whispers into my ear. It was an obvious thing.

"I know," I admit with a wry smile, "but I'm sure you will meet someone better than me. That's why you should forget about the Holy Grail War, this town and find….."

She sighs and pushes me away with a smile.

"Happiness? Senpai, I already found it years ago. The fact you never left this town while knowing what was to come….it was the same for you wasn't it?" is another thing I couldn't deny.

"...If I'm so easy to read, then wouldn't that make me a bad liar?"

Truthfully, I contemplated taking Miyu away from this town. Away from what was to come and I wanted Sakura to run away with us, but that would have required telling Sakura the truth back then. It's too late now. Saber was behind me, observing our exchange and she would have my head if I admitted such a thing. Illya won't give up on Miyu and Miyu won't give up on Illya. If Sakura was being truthful this morning, then Illya has a grudge against her too.  _All magi have their trump cards, Sakura is no exception._ Running is not an option.

"Yes, you are a bad liar. Which means truthfully, you're quite mean, but that's alright. As horrible as you are at lying, as mean as you can be to me at times and as greedy as you are, I promise you I'll protect the place where we belong, so stay home with your sister and wait for me," is what Sakura tells me before running away with a handwave.

_I don't want her to go, even though I was the one who ditched her today…._

I wanted to trust Sakura, but I failed to realize she may not completely trust me. She still had her secrets.  _If her Servant wasn't Gilgamesh, then how was she able to fight off Illya?_ Did I make a mistake again? My legs told me I was, but a strong grip tugs at my hand preventing me from chasing Sakura's back. I trudge forward, but the grip only gets tighter.

I look behind me and meet Saber's gaze and she wasn't happy.

I didn't have the same resistance to Rider's eyes like Saber did  _and now I'm wondering if Saber's eyes had special properties of their own_. The years of peace didn't do my intuition any favors. Just as I kept secrets from Sakura, Sakura kept secrets from me and I kept secrets from Saber. To maintain that transient peace, I did nothing and now it was dissolving.

_In front of all those smiling faces in front of the dinner table, what could I do? Sakura was happy, Miyu was happy and Fuji-nee was happy too._

That peace which everyone longs for was something in front of me for years now. Even if I could never truly enjoy it myself, it wasn't something I could carelessly upset, yet without my input, it was being upset. It was what Kiritsugu had sought, but never found...no that isn't true. Unlike me, he rejected that peace and spent the last years of his life hopelessly trying to reclaim it.  _That's why Illya can't forgive him and that's why she won't let us off._  A peace like that couldn't have been anything but temporary, but that's why I couldn't simply stand around.

"Saber, let my brother go. I don't want to use a command spell on a friend."

I couldn't help but turn to the source of that voice and neither could Saber. I always wished for Miyu to find friends, yet the biggest obstacle for such a wish was always me and now I was straining the relationship she had with Saber.  _Always wanting things both ways._

"Miyu?"

"Sakura is ...family too so you have to bring her back home when this is all over!" is what my sister tells me.

It was then I realized that Saber was no longer gripping me.

"I know how it feels to have too many things to protect, but that's all the more reason you should keep a clear head, but rest assured I'll keep you sister safe," were Saber's words that took a second to process.

Too many things to protect? That's putting it nicely. Aimlessly running around without a clue like a headless chicken. I was angry at Miyu for doing illogical things, but I was the more illogical one.

"Thank you," are the words I leave them with.  _I'm no match for Saber when it comes down to fighting._

My feet hit the pavement once more. Sakura was able to reach Miyu before I did, so chasing her on foot would be foolish, but I knew where Sakura lived. If I wait for her there, she'll hopefully show up.

Sakura's situation isn't something I can ignore any longer going forward.

* * *

The Matou Household is in front of me and I realized that I have never once stepped inside. The unkempt shrubbery that clung to the walls was the least ominous aspect about it. I never asked about Sakura's home life. All I knew was that Shinji was her older brother and she had a grandfather.

I was watching the house for an hour and it was then "someone" came out. Strange sounds. The old man with a cane in hand approaches the bush I was hiding behind.

"My king, it's not….wait…..Oh! You must be...my grandson in law? I apologize, I mistook you for someone else," were the words of the old man that wasn't quite rambling.

"You don't want to talk? You came all this way, or have customs changed over the years?" was more idle talk from the seemingly senile old man, but I knew it was just an act.

The reason why I and Sakura met was probably orchestrated by someone and it was a good chance it was this person in front of me.  _Shinji is an ordinary human, but…._

"Don't be a stranger. I'm sure my granddaughter will be delighted once she gets back," were the words that escape that did not originate from his throat. I analyze the old man in front of me and can't help but notice how he wasn't exactly a single piece under his robes.  _Sakura isn't back yet._ He gestures for me to come inside. We make it to the door.

Still, I had to play nice. I didn't quite know the relationship Sakura had with her grandfather.

"Sorry for the intrusion, but I'll be in your care...grandfather," I say as I play along.

I prepare an image in my head just in case.

"There's no need for violence here, but what else could be expected from the heir of Emiya?"


End file.
